Page 155 of The Sea Witch
“Not especially noteworthy,” her friend said flatly, “this island.”
“But it’s where the carving knife led us.” Lowering her spyglass, Alys said, “Its insignificance gives me hope that this is the place we’ve been pursuing. Cunning as he’s been throughout this hunt, Little George wouldn’t pick anywhere obvious to hide his fail-safe.”
“Hua says we should be able to drop anchor within minutes.”
“We’ll gather our landing party.” Alys made her way back toward the main deck, trying to keep her thoughts on what lay ahead, how to prepare for what awaited them on the island, and not things beyond her control. Or the possibility that Ben was no longer alive.
If she let herself truly consider this, if she allowed herself to believe it...
She climbed down the companionway to the main deck and tried to ignore Stasia’s look of sympathy, or as close to a sympathetic look as her friend could manage.
“He could be well,” Stasia said. “The distance, I am sure.”
Even as her friend spoke, Alys grasped for something that was surely hopeless.
She had to see Ben. Shewouldsee him. And when she did, she’d tell him... she didn’t know what, exactly, she wanted to tell him. Only that her days had been endless and her nights lonely and that the ship was far too empty when he wasn’t aboard it. She’d stopped herself several times from asking him to review a chart, or she poured two mugs of rum when she was alone in her quarters. But he wasn’t there. And when she hoped to see him last night in her dreams, and he wasn’t there, either... disappointment was a stone anchor heavy in her heart.
“Distance,” Alys echoed.
“Surely that must be it,” Stasia added.
Her friend’s willingness to humor her made slivers of icy alarm dance across her skin.
She and Stasia reached the main deck, where the crew gathered.
“I want Stasia, Susannah, Inés, Dayanna, and Thérèse in the landing party,” she announced. “Each one of you must take a brace of pistols, a cutlass, and a dagger, minimum. We don’t know what’s waiting for us, and if anyone gets themselves killed, I’ll personally drag them back from the afterlife, and then make them pick oakum for a fortnight. Understood?”
“Aye, Cap’n,” the crew assigned to the landing party answered.
“The rest will stay on the ship with Polly as acting captain.”
Polly nodded and stood straighter, ready to assume the mantle of responsibility.
“We’ll reconvene in five minutes,” Alys added. “Dismissed.”
As the group broke apart, Alys sped down to her quarters to arm herself. She tucked three primed pistols into her baldric, buckled on her cutlass, sheathed a dagger, and tucked several more knives into her boots. She grabbed the carving knife retrieved from Lambert’s enclave, and placed it in a pouch tied to her belt.
She hesitated, then went to her desk. Unlocking the top drawer, she pulled out a shiny brass button. It had fallen off Ben’s coat some weeks ago, and she’d snatched it up off the floor. At the time, she’d told herself she had taken it to keep her quarters tidy. She ran her thumb back and forth across the embossed design.
Closing her eyes, she pressed the button to her lips.
Before he had climbed aboard her ship, dripping wet and bristling with righteous anger, her life had followed its own rhythms. TheSea Witchfound ships laden with gold and precious things, and raided those ships. When her ship would dock for shore leave and reprovisioning, she would find herself a lover, sate her body’s needs, and then take to the sea again, unbound by the connections that could sour or lead to miserable heartache.
She cared for him.
Her eyes flew open.Hell.She’d done everything she could to keep this disaster from happening.
Hewasn’tSamuel, binding her to him with mouthed platitudes of love. What Samuel had professed wasn’t love. It was the mask worn by a different demon: control.
Ben offered so much more than that. The treasure he’d given her... his true heart... She’d never had a prize like that from any ship she’d taken. To him, her freedom was celebrated, not held back.
Hellfire. She’d been mute when he’d left her. Never giving him what he needed. What she needed to say to him, not even the last time they’d dreamwalked. Regret was a shroud around her, weighted with stones, sinking her beneath the waves.
They might never see each other again. But if they did, what would she say? The only way to know would be to have him standing in front of her. And then...
She didn’t know. But she’d make damned sure she and Ben had theirand then. Whatever it brought.
She slipped the button into her pocket before striding from her quarters.
