Page 18 of Frost Like Night
“We do not want to use you,” she states, hard, despite the tears in her eyes. “We look at you like that because you are the first child we have had in our home in more than two thousand years. We age, slowly, but our bodies can only host one force—the magic makes it impossible for us to conceive. So we look at you like that both because Rares and I have wanted a child for so long and because it kills us what we have to help you do.”
My heart spasms. The magic ruins that too? Another fate decided for me.
Oana forces a broken smile. “We look at you like this because we aresorry, Meira. We are so sorry. You deserve a better life than this.”
Hannah never apologized. I’m not sure she ever saw me as more than a vessel to enact the things she’d put in place. Even now, it’s been so long since I’ve spoken to her. A part of mechosenot to talk to her, because I know what I am to her. Not a daughter—a conduit.
Sir never apologized. It was my duty and I should do whatever needed to be done, because I’d always wanted to help, so I had no right to complain when I was needed.
A vessel doesn’t deserve an apology; a duty-bound soldier doesn’t either.
But Oana, someone I barely know, says things that make me feel, for the first time in years, like someone who has a say in the horrible events around me. Like someone whomatters.
I cling to Oana’s heavy wool robes, burying my face in the crook of her arm, pouring out every emotion I’ve been keeping at bay. All the while, she holds me, and I sense, somewhere deep in my chest, the cracks starting to fill in—the faint, cool tingle of healing.
6
Mather
MATHER, PHIL, ANDthe Ventrallan king waited in the shadows of the cramped passage. Beyond the door, chaos filled the hall—orders shouted, soldiers marching.
Mather strained to catch more telltale sounds, shouts of protest or whimpers of victims, but if he hadn’t known about the uprising, it would have been frighteningly easy to assume that Rintiero’s army was merely practicing military drills. Had any dissenters been subdued already?
“Raelyn will be in the throne room,” the Ventrallan king whispered. “Unless . . .”
His voice faded, but Mather felt his unspoken words.
Unless she’s murdering my mother.
“Where would she keep Ceridwen?” Mather asked.
In the light from the cracks around the door, the king stilled. “I’ll find out.”
“How?” Phil asked. “Your wife is terrifying. I mean,she’s terrifying,Your Highness.”
“You have no idea. And it’s Jesse.” His eyes flashed. “I’m not king anymore, am I?”
Mather shrugged. “It’s not so bad, being dethroned.”
“Ah, but at least the woman who dethroned you wasn’t a possessed murderer.”
Mather laughed, but it only hollowed him even more. He sagged against the wall.
“I have no idea where Meira went,” he admitted. Where would he even start looking for her? This city alone was huge. They could have gone anywhere, whether by boat or horse or on foot—
“Who was the man she left with?” Phil prodded.
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him before—or anyone like him. He was wearing a . . . robe?” Mather’s brow pinched. “I haven’t even—”
“A robe?” Jesse interrupted.
“Yes, why?”
“There are tapestries,” Jesse said, his voice uncertain, “in our history hall. They were made centuries ago, ancient depictions of each kingdom’s people. Ventrallans in masks and Yakimians with their copper and gadgetry and—”
“Is there a point?” Mather interrupted.
Armor jangled as soldiers passed their hidden door. Mather felt Phil and Jesse tense up.
