Page 30 of Frost Like Night
I could do what I’ve recently done with everything else. Acknowledge it,feelit, and let it bob out into the abyss, a constant presence, but not a crippling one.
Rares hasn’t moved from his position beside the desk, giving me room, letting me breathe. And when I look up at him, he nods but stays quiet. Letting me heal on my own.
“What does this mean?” I wave at the paper, my voice croaking.
“For one thing, it means only two people can accompany you. The labyrinth accepts only three at a time, to limit those who can gain access to the magic.”
“So you can come with me?”
“The door and the labyrinth were made so only the worthy reach the magic chasm. You noticed the barrier that repels anyone who tries to approach the door? The only way to pass that is for three people to cross together, all believing in their worthiness to reach the magic—the second part of the riddle,Who enter with genuine intent. A united effort. Simple enough, yes? But not entirely. For once you pass through the door, the labyrinth will make you prove that belief. It will test all three of you in ways that measure this worth—leadership, humility, and heart. I don’t know what the tests are precisely, beyond the clues in the riddle, but when you face them, you should be as prepared as possible. Of all the people in the world, which two would you want at your side as you face such trials?”
Faces flash into my mind.Mather and Sir.
I frown. Mather, yes. Sir, though . . . there’s a rift between us. But I do know that, if it came down to it, Sir would defend me with his life.
“Once you complete the labyrinth and reach the chasm, you will have only a few seconds to destroy it,” Rares continues. “When the creators built the labyrinth, they started by forming an exit that opens only when someone accesses the chasm. A way for any worthy souls who reach the magic to leave. But the amount of magic needed to seal off this exit was tremendous, and the moment it opens, every conduit in Primoria will feel it. They will know where it is, and they will be able to access the magic too. You cannot hesitate in your mission, dear heart.”
My mission.Dying.
I swallow. I can’t think about it—can’t give myself time to weaken.
“But to successfully complete the labyrinth’s tasks, you will need what you came here for: control of your magic.” Rares whips his hand out and a cabinet across the room opens. A dagger whizzes out, the hilt barreling into Rares’s palm. He curls his fingers around it, beaming.
The noise I make is absolutely pathetic, somewhere between a squeal and a whimper.
I want to understand the ways in which he can control his magic—not only so I can face Angra and protect those I love, but because I had no idea I could use this infuriating energy so gracefully. Magic has done far more bad thangood—but as Nessa pointed out in Putnam, we need all the weapons we can get. Any tool I can harness is valuable.
“Oh, dear heart,” Rares says, his enthusiasm contagious. “You haven’t yet learned the meaning of the wordvaluable.”
9
Meira
AT LONG LAST,Rares leads me out to the training yard. The late-morning sun shines bright on the stables and the dirt rings worn into the earth. The grass billows in the cool air, infusing me with the smells of hay and crisp old wood—aromas that crafted so much of my childhood. All that’s missing is the earthy tang of prairie grass and Sir shouting at me about my stance.
My heart knots and I survey Rares as he stops in the middle of the widest ring. Months ago, I wouldn’t have questioned my instinct to want Sir with me in the labyrinth. But uncertainty wears a hole in my belly. So much has changed. My relationship with Sir isn’t what it used to be—or what I want it to be. But what is it now?
Rares eyes me, ignoring my thoughts, and folds his hands behind his back.
“There are weapons in that crate.” He bobs his headtoward a wooden box. “Get one.”
I hook the key’s chain around my neck and tuck the key itself into my robe, between it and my undershirt to avoid skin contact. When I touched the other keys, I got powerful visions of what I needed to know in order to access the magic chasm. Whatever this key might show me, I don’t want it right now—I want to learn how to control my magic, to get one step closer to leaving and helping my friends.
No more distractions, no other lessons, no more emotional breakdowns. Only actions.
I start to walk toward the crate when Rares clucks his tongue.
“No,” he chastises. “Without moving from that spot. You treat your magic with confusion, uncertainty, and fear, and as such it responds with chaos. To use conduit magic, you have toknowwhat you want. You have to believe unswervingly that you want a sword from that box—just as, when you face the door to the magic chasm, you must know unswervingly that you are worthy. Confidence is essential to mastering magic, and you’ve already used your magic in such a way when you saw into Angra’s mind. You used your magic to touch him—it was a channeled will. You’re capable, dear heart. Trust yourself.”
I roll my eyes. “Trust myself. Youhavemet me, haven’t you?”
Rares chuckles. “You can do it. And if you lose control,don’t worry—I’m more than capable of reining you in.” He waves around the compound. “This is the one place in Primoria where you don’t need to fear using your magic.”
I square myself into a more solid stance and look at the crate, the warped lid that sits cocked open on top. I can do this. Even if I mess it up, Rares is right—this is the one place where I’m free to make mistakes. There aren’t any Winterians around I could harm.
Or could I accidentally affect Rares and Oana somehow, since they are conduits too?
“Don’t overthink,” comes Rares’s sharp reprimand. “Justwant.”
