Page 70 of Frost Like Night
She rolls her eyes. “Believe me, this is not how I foresaw joining our two kingdoms—when neither of us reallyhasa kingdom anymore. But . . .”
My eyes widen. “You really mean to join your kingdoms? You want to marry him?”
Ceridwen’s cheeks tinge with spots of red, but I wave it off.
“I’m sorry—it’s wonderful, Cerie. Really.”
“Thank you.” She recovers. “I’m glad my failed love life can be of some use to others.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s failed.” I motion toward the main tent. “Jesse’s here. He chose you. That’s certainly worth celebrating.”
Ceridwen considers for a moment before she scrunches her nose and grins. “I guess I should take my own advice, shouldn’t I? Itisworth celebrating.”
I cock my head, my sly smile returning. “What do you mean?”
But she shakes her head as the servants return, arms loaded with supplies.
“This way, Your Highness,” they say and start down the nearest row of tents.
Ceridwen sprints back toward the main structure. I follow the servants, walking backward, half watching her go and half watching Mather move toward the western edge of camp with his Thaw. He doesn’t notice me staring now, and my eyes slide over him, memorizing the dozens of details I’ve noticed for years. The way his shoulders cave when he’s in a serious discussion; how the space over his nose creases on the left side when he frowns; the nervous twitch he gets when he’s thinking, a shuddering shift in his jaw.
“You’ll only regret the time it took you to make the decision.”
Just before he turns down a row of tents, Mather looks at me over his shoulder. I smile at him.
Mather hesitates. Something catches in his eyes, loosening my feelings even more, as though he sees the difference in the way I smile at him. Phil says something to him, andit seems to take physical effort for Mather to break his curious eyes away from me.
This war will end with my death, but for now, I am alive. And Mather is alive. And we are here, somewhere safe for once, and if I’m to venture into the Klaryns and willingly sacrifice myself for this world, I will do so with no regrets. I will know what it is like to love, and love fully, with no reluctance or remorse or overthinking.
Just like I did with my conduit magic—I will harness all my life has to offer.
20
Meira
EVERY MINUTE OFevery hour of the next three days is packed with readying the armies, settling the refugees, sending out scouts to watch Angra’s movements, and discussing war strategies until everyone practically topples over from exhaustion. What moments I can steal, I spend pacing the perimeter of camp, straining my magic to double check that I’m shielding everyone as best as I can. What sleep I manage is light and fleeting, giving me just enough rest to get through the next day.
No one asks why I do what I do or says anything about how I stare off into the trees with my jaw clenched. I wonder about this for half a heartbeat one afternoon, long enough to realize thateveryoneis as stressed as I am. Everyone knows we have a few weeks at most before Angra’s troops are fully gathered—which means we only have that much time to become a cohesive fighting unit.
And the more work we pack into each day, the fewer lives will be lost in the coming battle.
These thoughts fuel me when fatigue hits, and I need only glance at Nessa singing soft lullabies to the camp’s children to force myself awake. When we break for the night and my legs ache from pacing, I need only spot Ceridwen running through drills with her refugee fighters to find the energy to take one more step, then another.
These tasks are infinitely preferable to what awaits us.
“Meira!”
I bolt upright, chakram in one hand, magic surging down my other arm in a bundled ball of defense. But it’s only Nessa, bouncing in the middle of my tent.
“You’re never going to believe what’s happening!” she squeals.
I lower my chakram with a groan and scrub sleep from my eyes. “What’s happening? How long have I been asleep?”
But even as I ask that, I think,Not long enough.
“Since . . .” Nessa’s eyes drift upward as she thinks. “After midnight. It’s just past noon now, and everyone wanted to let you rest, but I knew you wouldn’t want to miss this!”
I twitch and lower my hands. It’s pastnoon?
