Page 61 of These Divided Shores
Pierce sidled up next to Lu in the hall. “What do you need? We can get you anything.”
Rosalia, not about to be outdone by anyone, offered the same.
“Plants. Laboratory supplies,” Lu said. The more she listed, the lighter she felt. This was right. This was active. “Tuncian spices, the steps to make Emerdian stones, Visjorn bear blood—”
Pierce gave a scowl. “Why do you need Emerdian stones?” he asked at the same time Rosalia grumbled, “Nothing Grozdan?”
Nayeli ignored them. “Visjorn bear blood? How’re we gonna get Mechtlands shit on Grace Loray?”
“Leave it to me.” Rosalia’s smile was eager.
“And—” Lu paused. Darkness welled over her, thick and brutal. “I need to find my father.”
Pierce frowned. “Huh? Why?”
“Does it matter?” Lu snapped. “Kari and Fatemah will send scouts searching for Elazar—you can send scouts searching for my father. Tomás Andreu.”
Pierce drew back, calculation marring his fine features. “All right, girlie. He won’t be able to take a whiz in a river without us knowing about it.”
“Adeluna!” Kari’s voice echoed behind them. “Please—”
Lu went rigid. The group stopped around her, and she pulled out of Nayeli’s hand. “Give me a moment.”
Nayeli nodded. “We’ll wait for you outside,” she said, and corralled Rosalia, Pierce, and Nate down the hall.
Lu turned toward her mother. Her skin prickled with worry that Kari would hug her again and Lu would be powerless not to disintegrate in her arms.
Kari pressed her lips together. A pause, and she motioned behind Lu, at the hall now empty of raiders. “Your father? That’s what this is about to you?”
Lu jolted back a step, fury and fight coursing through her in a reflexive wave.
“You don’t think I want revenge, too?” Kari pleaded. “After everything he did—toyou—but there is a bigger war right now, sweetheart. And making this magic won’t—”
“I’m done fighting this war,” Lu cut in. Each word tore through her like a scream, but all that came out was a whisper, soft and agonized. “All my life, I’ve only ever fought this war. I will make permanent magic because it will undo the horrors I helped commit and it will save this island. But I’m done being a soldier.”
Lu turned from the argument that would come.
“You’re right.”
She froze, muscles turning to stone.
“You’re right,” Kari said again, louder. “It was wrong of us to put this war on you when you were a child, and it was wrong of me to ask the same of you now. I’m sorry, Adeluna.”
Shock twisted Lu, and she met her mother’s tear-filled eyes.
“You don’t have to fight,” Kari said, a hopeful smile lifting her lips. “You don’t have to do anything at all in this war. You can be done, sweetheart.”
Kari opened her arms to Lu, an offering of rest and unity.
But in this instant, Kari took everything from Lu’s childhood and turned it upside down. She confirmed that every pain Lu had borne, every moment of silent suffering, every task and secret, had been based on incorrect intentions.
Everything Lu had ever done had been wrong—as a traitor to Grace Loray when she obeyed Tom; and as a misguided rebel child when she had obeyed Kari.
She had wanted her parents to fix what they had made her, but now that Kari’s apology hung in the air, Lu felt like she was drowning. She was a spiral of doubt and horror, a life built on a foundation of slipping mud.
Lu took a step back. Kari’s smile fell, her open arms drooping.
“I’m sorry, Mama,” Lu whispered, tears tracking down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
