Page 92 of These Divided Shores
“Until you fought me on the deck of theAstuto, I had no idea you were capable of turning against your father,” Jakes hissed. “And your imprisonment? I thought you were clinging to your rebellion to punish Elazar for what he did to your cousin. I kept waiting for you to break, and when you did—you were so cold. You didn’t surrender like I thought you would, begging your father’s forgiveness. You stood up to him. I felt like I was seeing you for the first time. Clearly I was not the only one who lied during our relationship.”
That socked Ben in the chest. “Your lie betrayed me to a dangerous madman.”
“Spying on you for Elazar wasn’t what I meant. I’ve been playing this game longer than you can imagine. You have no idea what it takes to fight Elazar—and win.”
“Fight him?” Ben staggered and bumped into someone—Gunnar. When had he moved?
Ben stayed there, his spine pressed against Gunnar, gaping at Jakes.
“You are a defensor of the Church,” Ben repeated. “What are you talking about?”
Jakes looked up, tears on the edges of his eyelids. Next to him, Vex was motionless, his brow furrowed.
“I became a defensor to get close to Elazar,” Jakes said. “To take control of permanent magic once he gets it and kill him with it.”
He said it with a shrug and a tired blink.
The whole of the world could have broken and swallowed everyone outside this room, and Ben wouldn’t have moved.
“Permanent magic is the only thing strong enough to bring him to justice,” Jakes continued. “You know how he ingratiates himself in the minds and hearts of Argridians. Defeating him isn’t sticking a blade in his heart—that would make him a martyr. My family realized what it would take to defeat Elazar, but he killed them before they could do anything.”
“My father.” Vex’s voice was soft and childlike. “Are you part of his resistance?”
The muscles in Jakes’s shoulders bundled, something dark and furious passing over his eyes. “There is no resistance. There is only me, living out the promise I made to my family.” He turned back to Ben. “You wanted the truth? This is who I am. I’m still devout, I still serve the PiousGod. I never—” He winced. “I never meant to fall in love with you. It almost ruined everything, and I knew you’d hate me. But I promised my family. I watched themdie.”
Just when Ben thought all lies had been revealed. Worse was that this piece had been in front of him all along—Jakes had talked about his family, hummed that song his sister had written every day.
Jakes had been adamant that Ben continue working. When it had been a cure for Shaking Sickness; when it became permanent magic—Jakes had always been there, pushing Ben on, and Ben had blamed it on Jakes’s loyalties to Elazar, to the Church.
Ben hadn’t thought his chest could be emptier, but another shovelful of his soul lifted out. “You watched your family die,” he echoed.
Rodrigu. Paxben. Uncles and his grandparents and his mother, sister—why hadn’t Ben been driven to Jakes’s extremes? He had lost as much. More, even. And Lu—grief had unraveled her inhibitions, too.
So many people would lose themselves in the battles if it meant winning the war.
Looking at Jakes now, Ben expected some satisfaction, pieces clicking together and filling in gaps. But he felt... nothing. Except maybe sadness.
“Trust me, Ben,” Jakes said, softer now. Almost imploring. “This is how you fight this war. You lie, you say whatever you have to say to get these Grace Lorayans to acceptyou. And you do the same to Argrid. The truth will get you killed.”
“Despicable,” Gunnar grumbled.
“Necessity,” Jakes countered. “You tell your truth, it gets used against you. The raiders? They want you to be supportive of permanent magic. Argrid? Wants you to be against magic. So you lie to one of them. And you survive.”
“Sounds like a quick way to get everyone to turn on you,” Vex added. His posture slumped, arms twitching as he leaned against the bars. “What if they find you out? They’ll hate you. But that’s who we are, isn’t it, as Argridians? The source of the world’s problems. Our existence messes everything up.”
“My people are barbarians,” came Gunnar’s calm voice. “Is that all I am? A barbarian warmonger, covered in blood, wild?”
Jakes huffed. “Yes. But you use that in your favor when you need to. You take the lies and the opinions and the beliefs and you make them your armor.”
Gunnar ignored Jakes, grabbing Ben’s eyes. “You can’t be that kind of king,” he said, so low Ben wasn’t sure Jakes or Vex could hear him. “You have been true to yourself. After the battle, the world will be new. The rules will change. Keep holding to your truth.”
“Even if it kills me?” Ben asked.
Gunnar’s lips quirked in a sad smile. “Would you rather die any other way?”
Fatemah and Kari might have disagreed with using permanent magic, but there was little they could do to stop Nate, Pierce, and Rosalia from mobilizing their raiders. A haphazard group of Tuncians, Emerdians, and Grozdans prepared to leave, with a few dozen remaining from each syndicate to guard the sanctuary under Fatemah’s watch.
“With Cansu gone, the responsibility is mine,” she had said with a pointed look at Nayeli.
