Page 10 of The Nightmare Before Kissmas

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I’m always good with torturing my brother. What’d you have in mind?

the staff reined in the effects of the gift situation before it caused any real damage

no one was hurt by the riots and the robberies were sorted out

i scared people but

god no “but”

there’s no way you can punish me more than i’m punishing myself

IRIS

i’m not talking about punishment for that

you puked on my favorite louboutin heels you son of a bitch

okay no i literally JUST sent you the confirmation number for the new ones you had me buy

IRIS

yeah i decided that isn’t good enough

oh so you’re an extortionist now

beneath that glitzy purple springtime exterior beats the heart of a cold blooded mob boss

KRIS

I could’ve told you that.

fine, whatever, i shall nobly take whatever punishment you idiots throw my way because i am the biggest person in this fucked up trio

IRIS

you say that now

will you keep saying that when i have kris pick out an ugly christmas sweater for you to wear every day of your first month as a junior at yale

like not even a different sweater every day, just the same nasty ass sweater over and over

KRIS

OH I AM ALL OVER THIS

wait

KRIS

Okay, I have one that lights up, one that has about a pound of tinsel garland sewn into it, and one that’s neon yellow with two reindeer fucking on it.

But like, in a classy way.

IRIS

oh yellow classy reindeer fucking obviously

i have to give credit to the hilarity of christmas embarrassment in what will be august but why the christmas motif exactly

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