Page 8 of Go Luck Yourself
wait did you do something interesting
study room war?
never mind, you did something boring and cambridgey didn’t you
I pull up the video and almost,almostsend it to him.
The freeze frame is that guy peeking up through the blue tinsel. Gray eyes are pinched with annoyance. Mouth is agape in a breathy gasp.
A shiver walks down my spine and I close out the video.
Is everything all right? I didn’t drain the Merry Measure?
COAL
over creating tinsel? nah dude, we’re fine. go crazy with it
well not crazy crazy
but yeah use it to win a study room war
like a fucking nerd
god you’re dull
I don’t know, you may have some competition for future tabloid grabbing.
COAL
oh no, my title shant be stolen from me, take my eyes before you take my disastrous reputation
you’re coming home next weekend?
There’s enough of a tone shift between Coal’s last two texts that I can feel his anxiety twisted up in it.
He’s back in Christmas, finishing out his final semester at Yale online; I came back to Cambridge after he damn near booted me out while claiming thatsomeoneneeded to have anormal collegiate experienceand it sure as hell wasn’t going to be him, so I should go have fun.
Nothing saysfunlike intensive courses in a program I loathe with my whole being.
Coal had been so insistent, so hopeful about the idea of mehaving funin a way that told me he felt guilty for letting me take care of him most of our lives, for being the rock while he was the wind. I’m not sure how much I like all the self-actualizing he did over Christmas; I’m happy he’s gaining a better awareness of himself, but it also means he’s gaining a better awareness ofme,and I’ll be damned if I can handle getting all introspective after…
After Coal discovered our dad had successfully overtaken half a dozen Holidays and was tapping their joy directly into ours.
After he confronted Dad with the backing of those Holidays and basically forced him out as reigning Santa in all but his control of our magic.
After Dad went from manipulative and angry to sitting quietly in meetings as Coal sets up a fair trade of joy with other winter Holidays, like he surrendered to Coal. But I don’t trust it, and I shouldn’t have come back to school. Coal’s dealing with all this shit, and I left him to fuck around with term papers?
Of course I’m coming back. Give me ten minutes and I can be there today.
COAL
no, no, next weekend’s fine
hex is coming tomorrow anyway
so i’ll have a babysitter
i’m just all alone right now so who
