Page 96 of Go Luck Yourself

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A little.

I’d been sickwith guiltover the fact that I couldn’t be what Mom needed. Sick over the fact that a little voice was whimpering in the back of my head,If you could do what she wants you to do, you could fix her; but you can’t, you’re a fuckup, and it’s no wonder she left you.

My spiraling panic holds me in place so long that her call ends before I can decide whether to answer.

“Kris?” Loch tries to get my attention, leaning down, but when I don’t look away from my screen, he steps closer. “Christ, Kris—you’re pale. What’s wrong?”

A few seconds later—I’ve barely caught my breath—my phone pings.

A text.

MOM

MOM

Sweetheart, your father and I are renewing our vows on the island this weekend. I expect you and Nicholas to both be here.

Holy what?

My vision whites out.

I fight to keep from absorbing any of this yet, especially as texts pour in, one after another, not giving me time to respond, even if I could:

MOM

Do not deny me my children at such an important moment in my life.

You should be able to do this one thing for me. Do not be selfish, not now.

SAY SOMETHING

Kristopher, I’ve only ever wanted you to be the best you can be. This behavior is NOT that.

It should not be this difficult for you to do the right thing.

“Kris?” Loch is in front of me.

My hands are trembling again, but I manage to copy Mom’s first text about the vow renewal and forward it to Coal.

COAL

Did you know about this?

A second later, he tries to call me.

I decline it.

Not now. With Loch.

What the fuck?

COAL

it’s bullshit. we aren’t gonna go and i didn’t want to stress you out.

call me when you’re free. please.

fuck, i told her i was responding on behalf of us both, i told her not to fucking contact you.

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