Page 107 of Wish You Were Her
He struggled to speak but she could see it all on his face: the guilt, the regret, the uncertainty and the love. She hugged him. She told him it was all going to be okay, that she was off to have a fun night with her friends before her movie’s premiere the following day. She tried to show him, rather than tell him, that everything had worked out for the beautifully strange girl who was given a diagnosis but no help. Who found that she could only be her true self in the arts. She was a natural in a creative job, one that so many could never reach. The ordinary was too difficult but the extraordinary came easy.
I’ll be okay, she told him through their embrace.I will. They tried to tell me I was nothing, they wanted me to feel like I wasn’t worth remembering. But I am. I’m going to find people like me through my art and they can print as many slut-shaming headlines as they like, they won’t make me afraid. They can call me odd and cold and strange. But they can’t do what I can do.
“You can’t be mad at Jonah, Dad,” she told him as they hugged. “He’s the only one who’s been taking care of you.”
At first she wondered if he had heard her, but he eventually murmured, “I know.”
They spoke softly until a large black car pulled up to the curb. George kissed her quickly on the head and went into the shop, possibly hoping that she hadn’t caught the gleam of tears. Simon was inside waiting for him. She could see them through the bookshop window and she wondered why they both looked so grave as they spoke.
Jonah was still in the city, hopefully riding high after his job interview, so he would meet them at the hotel suite. Allegra could see Jasper and Grace in the distance, walking arm in arm. Jasper wore dark glasses, just like Allegra, and Grace waved enthusiastically.
“I have never been more excited for anything!” Grace gushed as she and Jasper reached the car. “Allegra, this is, like, the greatest night of my life.”
Allegra laughed warmly. “Tonight’s just playing dress up, tomorrow is makeovers and the actual party.”
“I know, don’t, I can’t contain myself.”
Allegra had asked them both to message Natalie about their measurements and style influences so that the stylist could pull some specific choices. As a curvier girl, Allegra was used to the stylist complaining about having fewer options but Allegra always found something beautiful. She wanted Grace and Jasper to feel the same. Jasper had also sent over stills from an old movie calledWhat a Way to Goas her inspiration.
“Is…” Allegra felt like a child again as she asked Grace the question that had been bothering her all morning. “Is Kerrie still coming?”
Grace’s smile slipped. “I told her that she would have a lot of nerve if she did.”
“No,” Allegra cried. “No, I… I don’t want her to be mad at me. Or think I’m mad at her.”
“It might be a little awkward for her,” Jasper pointed out gently. “Seeing you and Jonah.”
“We’re just friends,” insisted Allegra.
“And you’re meant to be an actor? Very unconvincing.”
“There’s no bad blood on my end. I want her to come. If she feels like it.”
“Well, there’s a whole other thing,” Grace said with a sigh. “She got waitlisted for Mapesbury. Ages ago, apparently. I was just telling Jonah the other day, that’s why she’s a bit sensitive at the moment.”
“Ouch,” Jasper whispered while Allegra frowned.
“What’s that?”
“Mapesbury is, like, the university that every kid in this town goes to after high school,” Grace explained. “My older brother went there, Jasper went there—”
“For eighteen horrible months,” Jasper interjected.
“Simon’s going there in the fall,” Grace went on. “Skye is going, too. And Kerrie was desperate to join them, but she didn’t get in. She got waitlisted. She thought someone might drop out over the summer so she could get the call, but the call never came. So, she’s a bit bitter right now. Best to be left alone.”
Kerrie and Skye appeared on the corner of Main Street to watch the three of them get into the car. Their expressions were stern and unforgiving as they watched the small, merry party pull away. Allegra felt a deep sense of foreboding as she stared into Kerrie’s face as the Mercedes brushed by them. The other girl looked so young. Allegra knew they were the same age but there was something raw and rare in Kerrie’s face, as if Allegra had turned the entire classroom and playground against her.
Allegra knew how that felt, and she hated seeing it on Kerrie’s sweet face.
“Stop the car!”
The vehicle stalled and Allegra slipped out of the backseat before anyone could question her. Kerrie and Skye were shielding their vision from the bright, baking rays of the sun over Lake Pristine as Allegra made her way toward them.
“Hey, slut,” Skye said in greeting, with a sickly sweet and contemptuous tone.
“I don’t use that word,” Allegra replied quietly. She turned to Kerrie, who looked mortified by Skye’s words. “Can I talk to you?”
“No, you can’t talk to her,” Skye barked but Kerrie made a noise of frustration.
