Page 51 of Wish You Were Her
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“Go in and see if you can both find the funny side,” Grace suggested.
Allegra stimmed and stumbled, caught between two places and unable to find even a drop of humor in anything.
“I’m so stupid,” was all she could conjure up. “So, so stupid.”
The stupid girl, who had watched as national newspapers printed a countdown clock to her eighteenth birthday, who had wanted to come to a small town and fall in love.
“Stupid,” she repeated.
She began to walk away once more, her heels clacking against the cobblestones. She heard Grace make a noise of disbelief.
“You can’t leave him alone in there, Allegra.”
“I can, Grace,” Allegra said without looking back. “He can sit there all night for all I care.”
“Allegra!”
She stopped at that, shocked by Grace’s sharp and forceful tone. “What?”
Grace was staring her down with steely disapproval. “Jonah Thorne is like his name. Prickly and spiky. But he’s a good guy. He’s my friend, even. You are, too. But you’re not going to leave him there, wondering and worrying about you. Go inside. Explain.”
Allegra’s eyes drifted back to the cafe and she felt a flood of fear and humiliation. “I can’t, Grace. I can’t go in there and face him.”
She had auditioned for some of the most terrifying directors in the business but this was something else completely.
“Yes, you can,” Grace said firmly. “What are you even upset about? Really? You love those emails but you were lackluster about Simon. No, you were! Come on, be honest. The only thing he had going for him in your eyes was the possibility of being this mystery pen-pal.”
“Well, it’s not him,” Allegra said. “It’s not Simon. It’s the guy who said I looked like a snob and who has barely said a nice word to me since.”
Even as she said it she knew it wasn’t the whole truth, but she was feeling tripped up and scared.
“Because you’re not at all intimidating?”
“Grace, stop.”
“No, you stop. You’re not in your big, fancy city now. This is Lake Pristine. And we don’t ghost people here. It’s too small. So be a big girl and get inside.”
A smile flickered on Allegra’s lips as she regarded her friend. “You know, no one speaks to me like this.”
“Well,” Grace shrugged unapologetically. “Maybe they should. Friends tell their friends when they’re being dicks.”
Allegra’s small smile wobbled. “Grace.”
“I know, babe,” Grace said, her voice almost sisterly in its softness. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
“Why does it have to be him?” she asked the universe as much as she did her new friend. “Him! The guy who yelled at me over movie tie-in covers!”
“Just give him a chance,” Grace said.
Allegra shook her head, too shaken by the prospect. They had argued too often, snarled at each other one too many times. He thought she was a joke. One or two nice moments did not erase the many that had made her humbly aware of what he really thought of her. She didn’t care if her mind had occasionally replayed those nice moments before going to sleep. She didn’t want to think about the pang of relief she felt that her pen-pal was not Simon. She couldn’t focus on any of that. She needed to escape.
But she turned and dashed to the cafe entrance.
“Good girl,” Grace called.
As Allegra stepped inside, the smell of burning candles welcomed her. The lights were dim and the chatter was muted. It was a perfect meeting point for two autistics. She just wished they had each known about the other.
