Page 93 of Wish You Were Her
Murmurs of amusement met her answer, but the audience members were clearly anticipating the talk show host’s line of questioning.
“Some pictures of you went viral recently…”
Allegra pushed her long hair back and feigned innocence. “Was it the benefit for literacy I did back in May? Where we raised millions for children to have access to books?”
“Um, not exactly.”
“Ah,” Allegra sighed, playing up her disappointment. “Damn! That stuff never seems to go viral, such a shame. So, what areyoutalking about, Ellis?”
The audience laughed and hooted.
What a good sport she’s being, isn’t she charming, you’d never know the overhead lights are killing her and that she can smell everything and feel the springs of the seat beneath her thighs.
“Yes, some pictures of me and my very good friend were taken against our will and published,”Allegra said, before Ellis could. “We were both in a state of undress due to a broken air conditioner.”
More screams of laughter from the jackals, who looked to the people next to them to check that they were laughing as well.
“And we were actually having a fight, that’s what the photos don’t quite capture. If the pap had hung around, he’d have seen me pin him to the floor and get him in a headlock, but of course in this cynical day and age, everyone jumps to conclusions. I’m actually a Black Belt.”
Even Ellis smiled tightly at that, as the audience bellowed. Allegra felt her body silently begging her to wrap it up. The sensory overload was crushing her, but she told herself to persevere, she had minutes left. They had to make it through the fakery for a little longer. Yet as the audience cackled and shrieked, she breathed a small sigh of relief.
She had won. She had taken it back.
Albeit with shaking, frightened hands.
“Now, let’s talk more about Diego Charlotte and his sensational movie. Out very soon!”
When the interview was over, Allegra took a quick photo with Ellis for socials, blew a kiss to the enraptured audience and swiftly power-walked to the guest bathroom where she promptly vomited all over the floor.
Her feet slipped out of her high heels and her knees hit the floor as she retched. Within a moment Natalie was by her side, whispering comforting things and rubbing her back.
“You were perfect!” she said, careful to keep her voice as low as possible. “Just brilliant. It’s over now, baby, it’s done. That’s buried it. You did it, you’re the greatest. I’ve never seen anyone command a room like you when you want to.”
The other woman’s words tumbled out quickly as Allegra staggered to her feet to grab some paper towels. Natalie poked her head out of the bathroom door and barked at someone for some water. Allegra pressed her forehead against the cold tile on the wall until Natalie pushed a glass of water into her hands.
People thought masking was something that everyone did. They thought it was like speaking “corporate” or behaving differently for your in-laws. But it was so much more than that. It was the physical suppression of every natural, autistic instinct. It was mimicry. It was sunburn. It was a hand around your own throat. It was burying yourself while you were still alive.
Allegra felt the delayed reaction to the sensory overload and her body cried out, begging for mercy. She gulped down the water and splashed some on her face, hoping to disguise the salty tears.
Ellis Beckton was the only late-night show that went out live. Most others were filmed in the late afternoon. She took a moment to breathe, to try and pull herself together. She moved like a sleepwalker to her dressing room, where her two smartphones were locked away. She withdrew her personal phone and called the bookshop.
No one answered. She called again. Still nobody. She could picture the old landline ringing in the shop with no one there to answer it.
She wanted to talk to Jonah. But she didn’t have a number saved for him on either of her phones. She was about to open her email inbox when—
“Everything okay? The car’s outside. You good, baby?”
Natalie’s words came from the other side of the dressing room door. Allegra locked eyes with herself in the mirror. She blinked away the redness. She grabbed some concealer and quickly got to work on her face. She brushed her hair. She stared at herself, commanding herself to be all right.
Come on, we’ve done this before. We’re back to work now. They want the golden goose so let’s go. Time to sparkle.
“I’m great,”she heard herself say. “Ready to go.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
