Page 50 of All The Way Under
Brody stops talking, but he doesn’t look at me. His neck works as he swallows, and beads of sweat drop down his face.
Then he slams his eyes closed as if my words inflict absolute torturous pain.
I realize swiftly, maybe they do.
CHAPTER TWELVE
brody
We tookthe choppers to Maputo, then flew from there to Portugal. There were certain protocols we needed to adhere to before returning to US soil.
I first need to decompress. As a witness and the only SEAL with firsthand information, I’m not included in the aftermath and cleanup. The rest of my Team is on the enemy base, sorting through the remnants of guards and evidence.
I saw Saylor briefly in the lobby of the hotel, but she was with her parents. There is a security detail protecting the Wyndham family because they’re here together, which is a large risk. I watched her for a moment or two before exiting out the side door before she could see me.
She isn’t mine to protect anymore. The whole thing feels like a dream.
The longing I feel is annoying. I want to kill off the part of me that longs. I mean, what the fuck is that, anyway? It’s a useless feeling. It doesn’t ever evolve into anything fruitful. I’m in the hotel gym jacking the lame ass steel they have here. I was told I was lucky there was even a bench to begin with. I spent the last few days in here trying to recoup what the island stole from me.That, and eating. Anything to distract. Anything to get her out of my mind.
I’m not a moron. I know a relationship with Saylor in the real world isn’t reasonable.
We live close together, my mind whispers.It could work if you tried. The connection is real. She wants you.
These thoughts float through while sweat drips down my chest. I have on black issued workout shorts that are a little shorter than I’d like, but Mark packed my shit, and somehow this is what I ended up with.
My phone rings, and I startle, with heavy dumbbells in my hand.
I’m not used to noises that don’t come from the jungle.
“Fuck,” I hiss, hitting the green button.
“Brother,” Nolan whines out, then, “McBrode. My main man. The big gun killa.”
I cut him off. “Enough. You’re making my ears bleed.” Clearing my throat, I say, “I talked to you last night. What can you possibly have to talk about now? I’m in the gym trying to gain some semblance of myself back. I could pass for McLan right now, and it’s embarrassing.”
As kids, people would mix us up constantly. In high school, I took his language arts exam for him, and to this day, no one knows. As adults, I’ve always had at least twenty more pounds of muscle.
Nolan chuckles, then I hear a woman’s voice in the background. It’s late at night where he is.
“You’ll be back in town next weekend, right?”
A glance at my watch, and some fuzzy math later, I reply, “It’s one in the morning at home. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
I already know, but I need my damn brother to be honest with me. Honest in a way that he thinks is painful for me.
“Catherine and I are going to the lake house, and we want you to come. If you’re ready to see people that soon.” He adds the last sentence as a brotherly jab. “Just us. The guys aren’t going.”
“Wouldn’t that be intrusive if it’s just you two?” I ask, then decide to polish the edges. “I want to meet her and spend time with you, don’t get me wrong, but that sounds a bit romantic?”
What I love most about Nolan is that we can go a long time without speaking or hanging out, and we fall back together as if no time has passed at all. There are not many people who have that.
“Bring friends then,” Nolan replies. “It’s not romantic at all. We go basically every weekend now. Sometimes friends come, and other times it’s just her and me. Mom and Dad came last weekend. I bought a few jet skis to leave out there too.”
A pit in my stomach forms when he talks about a life without me in it. “I’ll be there. I want to meet her. Is she there now?”
“Yeah, she’s been staying at my house.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “Guess who loves her?”
“There’s no possible way. He hates women.”
