Page 57 of All The Way Under
Dad goes on. “He must keep his anonymity for his career. What do you think will happen if they link Brody to the SEAL Teams? If the public finds out he’s the one who saved you? And you’re now in a relationship with him.”
Dad’s face looks weathered. It’s my fault. The wrinkles around his blue eyes usually spark joy, but now they look haunted.
My mom sips a martini, and her cream-colored caftan billows as she exits onto one of the balconies in their penthouse. She has a stack of romance books on the table out there. Exhaling deeply, the gravity of the situation I’m in hits.
“They would never leave us alone if they found out. His life would be in jeopardy if they connect him with me.”
Dad shakes his head. “Just at first. You know how these things go. Once some time has passed, no one will care about you and your situation, but at first, the spotlight is going to be on you.”
I sit down in a chair and look at my watch. I have to meet Brody in his room in thirty minutes.
“I guess I knew I’d have to talk about the experience, but I didn’t think it all the way through and what it would mean for you guys and Brody.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry for getting us into the situation and that it’s affecting you after.”
A tear catches in the corner of my eye.
“If I could go back in time and never set sail, I wouldn’t.”
He sits on the arm of the chair, wrapping an arm around me.
“Yes, you would,” he whispers gently. “You’d have to go to meet him.”
We both sit in silence, him knowing me so well that my emotions overwhelm me.
“I’m sorry, still,” I reply, lip trembling.
I can’t keep it in. It was a lot, knowing my decisions affected others, but knowing my decisions are going to continue to affect those I love and care about is a whole different kind of pain.
“I won’t do anything like this again. I might even be done with sailing. It proved I wasn’t good enough.”
“You stop that talk right now. Not only are you good enough, I think you should try again. Not soon, but you can do it. You can’t control some things, but all the things you could control were handled perfectly.”
When I told him I shot two men, his face iced over. He said we shouldn’t tell Mom. Or anyone else, for that matter. I wonder if that’s what he’s referring to now.
Should I have just allowed myself to be taken easily? Without putting up a fight?
Now that my mind is clear, the whole kidnapping and my time in captivity feel like it was fabricated.
I look at Dad as a tear rolls down his face. I capture it with my finger.
“Stop, Dad. I do need to grow up. Mom is right. You stopped sailing.”
“And it broke my heart. When you picked it up, it made me feel whole again. We can sail together. You won’t give it up.”
He nods, his chin on my head.
“We don’t care what we must go through when we go home. We’re just relieved you’re okay, Saylor. I don’t care about the noise.”
He pauses.
“No one knows we’re in Lisbon right now. Go ahead and go to the café around the corner. Be watchful. Take the full security detail. This is as much privacy as you’re going to have for a while,” he explains, thinking out loud. “When we get home, you won’t be able to go out. Go,” he commands, kissing the top of my head. “Let me know when you get back. I’ll tell security.”
Dad looks over his shoulder at the balcony.
“And your mom.”
“We will go incognito, and I promise to be safe. Thank you, Dad. I’m sorry again.”
“Stop apologizing, Saylor Jean. Go live your life.”
