Page 105 of Rising Out of the Darkness
She assessed my disheveled appearance as I gulped down water. “Yes, I’m okay, just on my way to meet Nayla for some training.”
“If you need more food later, you stop in and see me, alright?”
“Thank you, Alana. I will.”
Pulling her into a side embrace, I thanked her once more and made my way out to the training grounds. After talking with Clara about Declan, I needed more than just training for my dynamis. I needed answers. Answers about the secrets they’d been hiding for so long.
If I was to help, I could no longer be left in the dark.
By the time that I made my way back to the training ring, the other guards had gone, leaving behind Liam, Killian and Nayla. As I got closer, Liam pressed a finger over his lips, his gaze locked on mine. Shortly after, Killian and Nayla appeared behind me. They all huddled in close, wrapping their arms around me.
“Hold on tight, Elena,” whispered Killian.
In a flash, my hair twirled around me, and it felt as though I was flying inside of a tunnel of wind. Finally pine needles crunched underneath our boots, and the turbulent wind ceased.
Gigantic pine trees soared above us, and I could hear the sounds of a river rushing only a few feet away. A tent was set upnear a small fire pit, and I began to realize that this must be a place they often zephyred to.
My head felt like it was spinning as we all stepped apart from each other. After adjusting my hair back into place, I clutched my stomach, trying to suppress the nausea.
“Was all of that necessary?”
“Yes, little lady. There are a lot of ears and eyes in the castle that shouldn’t be privy to what we are about to discuss.”
“Sorry, Freckles.” Killian chuckled. “The nausea will cease soon. Longer distances stress the body a little more than usual.”
“Who put those scars on Declan?” I asked, a little more bluntly than I had intended.
“I think you already know, Lena,” Killian said.
I pressed my lips together, trying to force back the rage that was building inside of me. Killian was right, I’d assumed that the king or his advisor were likely responsible. Gods, I had just clung to the hope that I was wrong. “Was this the first time?”
“No,” Nayla breathed.
“How long?”
“Too long,” they replied, almost in unison.
I tried to erase the image of a much younger Declan displaying the same scars that I had witnessed today. Nayla placed a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay, Elena?” she muttered.
“Barely,” I breathed. “The cruelty of this realm confounds me. How could they do such horrific things to him?”
All three of their heads hung low in silent agreement.
“Ever since my Ascension, I feel like I’ve been trying to live up to this power the gods decided to bestow upon me. It swirls within me, urging me each day to be good, reminding me of the gods’ quest to heal the evil that lies before us. How am I supposed to bring about good, when those men are far darker and more evil than those foul beasts that have threatened theland? If Declan, our most powerful Elysian, can be overpowered, what hope do I have? Honestly, some days I feel like I’m drowning, and I pray to the gods that they just let me fall into darkness.”
The admission flooded out of my mouth before I could stop it. Turmoil twisted inside my stomach as I awaited their disappointment.
“I hope you know us well enough by now to trust us. To know you don’t have to carry this burden alone,” Killian said, giving my shoulder a squeeze.
“It’s what friends do,” Nayla said, placing her palm on my back and rubbed it soothingly.
“It’s what family does,” Liam followed. “You’re one of us now, Lena. We don’t let our family suffer alone … ever.”
Tears welled behind my eyes, and I no longer held the capacity to keep them in.
Over these past years, my father had become my pillar, my support system. However, I’d never fully given in to his help. Guilt over not being to handle every struggle, every fear, made me keep him at a distance, afraid to show too much weakness, too much vulnerability.
Shame had rooted itself deep within me. With each failure, each weakness, a new root dug itself straight into my soul. I was never strong enough, sharp enough, or bold enough.
