Page 115 of Rising Out of the Darkness
A few days ago, Nayla, Clara, and Eloise had joined me in my room while I was getting ready for another of the king’s events. After a few glasses of wine, I had opened up about Will and what had happened after the Ascension.
As much as I wanted to share the thoughts whirling inside my head, I couldn’t. “No,” I breathed. “I’ll be alright.”
Worry crinkled her delicate features. When I didn’t budge, she motioned for me to change out of my clothes and into the dress for this evening.
Surprisingly, my dress for tonight was normal; a simple navy satin dress with short, draped sleeves that left my shouldersbare. Finishing the last braid in my hair, Eloise pulled me into her arms and squeezed tightly. She didn’t have to say it. I could feel it in her embrace.
The boost of encouragement I desperately needed to make it through tonight.
Relief trickled through my tense muscles when I found the dining hall only partially occupied this evening. The grand table was large enough to fit at least forty or more, but this evening it was only filled halfway.
When I entered, the men at the table rose and dipped their heads. Clara’s smile brightened the room as I caught her wink. Unfortunately, being related to the king put her further up the table.
My pulse quickened as Will pulled out the chair next to him. Seeing no other option, I made my way over and took a seat.
A few more guests arrived, and with a snap of the king’s fingers, dinner was served.
Struggling to eat from the anxiety that tangled my stomach in knots, I sipped on my wine, taking in all the guests.
Alastor was perched next to Edan, both in deep conversation. Next to Lord Drake was a young woman who shared similar features. The sudden awareness that this was his daughter made my stomach flip, while the feeling of jealousy simmered inside me.
Onyx hair curled in perfect waves over her shoulders. She had a flawless complexion, and a dress in the most vibrant shade of crimson made her amber eyes shimmer. The only thing that tainted her beauty was the bored expression pursingher rosy lips. Even while twirling her fork aimlessly around the vegetables on her plate, she maintained perfect posture.
The scrutiny of my stare must have been felt across the table as she stopped playing with her fork and rolled her eyes up to meet mine.
Sorrow rimmed the edges of her eyes, unlike her father’s gaze—Edan’s swirled with a haze of displeasure. Our gaze was broken when her father pulled her into his conversation, and my eyes drifted back to the boy beside me.
Will had been staring at me the entire dinner, but that was as far as our interactions went. There were a few moments where I tensed, thinking he was going to speak. Instead, he shoved a piece of bread in his mouth and concealed his words with the rim of his wine goblet.
When the trays of dessert were finally lifted away, I praised the gods for helping me make it through another painful event.
Alaric excused all of us, calling for Clara to follow him, as he needed his nightly elixir. As she walked by, she mouthed an apology. Rising from my chair, I realized the only person left in the hall was Will.
“Walk with me?” He gestured to the terrace behind us.
The dining hall had a wall full of windows, just like the library. The view was towards the flora-covered courtyard, as opposed to the ocean-side view of the library. Glass doors led out to the terrace and down into the courtyard.
Though I knew I should return to my room, a part of me just wanted closure. With a nod, I walked beside him as we stepped out into the crisp night air.
As we made our way down the smooth steps of the terrace, the crunch of the gravel beneath my feet made me shudder. The memory of what had happened in this very courtyard nearly two weeks ago was still fresh in my mind.
A jacket covered my shoulders. I glanced at Will.
“You looked cold.” Will placed his hands in his pockets.
“Thank you, that was kind.”
“Of course, Lena.”
We continued to walk in silence until we reached the fountain near the end of the courtyard. Perching on the back, we had a perfect view of the city below. Thousands of lanterns glimmered in the city below.
Normally a view like this would make me feel peaceful, but all I felt was the thump of my heart in my throat as I waited for Will to speak.
“Lena, I’m so sorry for everything I said in those cells after Ascension. Everything happened so quickly, and when I saw that man …what I had done—” Will’s fingers dug into his thighs. I placed my hand over his, and the creases in his forehead began to relax. “Anger took hold of me, and I lashed out to put the blame on anyone but myself. That’s something I’ll never forgive myself for.” Tears lined his eyes as pulled my hand onto his chest, forcing me to face him.
I ripped it away, wrapping my arms around myself, grounding myself to say the words that sat heavily on my chest. “You hurt me when I needed you the most.” My voice broke.
His head dropped, the ache of shame filling my body as his emotions wafted into me. With a deep breath I shoved out the emotion, stirring a gentle wind. The last thing I needed was to feel more shame.
