Page 116 of Rising Out of the Darkness
“Did you mean what you said? When you told me that you always had to save and protect me?”
“Lena—”
“All this time, did you really feel like I was a burden?” A sob broke free, and I wiped away the tears that escaped.
Will’s only response was a heavy sigh, and my sob deepened inside my palms.
Calloused fingers turned my chin back towards him. His hand slid to cup my cheek, thumb tenderly brushing it. “You’ve never been a burden. I’ve always loved taking care of you. If you forgive me, give me another chance, I’d like to care of you and our home for the rest of our days.”
My mouth went dry. This was a moment where most would swoon. Someone offering their protection and care for the rest of their life seemed the ultimate dream. However, it only made me more depressed.
I wished more than anything that others would stop seeing me as someone fragile and weak, but someone strong and powerful.
I was a soldier in my own personal battle. I rose each day and silently battled a war with my own mind. Even when I broke, I dusted myself off and rose once more.
Killian was right, resilience was the greatest strength. If only others in my life would see it that way as well.
“Edan Drake offered to make me a captain in the Ash Guard after the ball, Lena.” He tucked my loose hair behind my head as his smile widened. “I want you to come with me. We would have a place to live, and he told me I could bring my family and anyone else from our town who wanted to come as well.”
The air fled from my lungs.
Why was Edan being so generous, and why would he want to help our small town?
“It’s such a beautiful city, you would love it. So much art, culture, and even a little library down from the home I would be given. My position comes with a hefty wage. We would have a comfortable life, and you would want for nothing. You would never have to suffer in poverty anymore.”
Scowling, I turned my head in disgust. “I don’t needthings, Will. We’ve both lived without luxuries all our lives and we were just fine.”
“Were we, Elena?” His tone was gruff, words clipped.
“All I need in my life is to know the people I love most are safe. At the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.”
The tension faded from his face as he brushed his lips across my cheek, dangerously close to my lips. “That’s all I want too, Lena.” His blue eyes bore a hole straight through me. “Let me protect you. Let me keep you safe.”
Pulling away, he stood and extended his hand in front of me. “Just think it over. You have time.”
Wrapping my palm around his, I let him help me up from the fountain edge.
Nothing but the night breeze passed between us as we made our way back to the terrace and inside the castle. Realizing I still had on his dress jacket, I lifted it from my shoulders, but was paused by his palm.
“Keep it, Elena. I have others, and there’s still a chill, even in here.” He gave one more chaste kiss against my cheek and walked in the opposite direction towards his quarters.
Alone, I walked through the dimly lit hallways with only the golden flicker of candlelight and my intrusive thoughts to keep me company.
Chapter 46
Elena
It had been hours, and I was still staring up at the stark white ceiling, trying to escape my spiraling thoughts.
With a frustrated growl, I fisted the sheets and kicked my feet. After my mini-tantrum was over, I realized sleep was obviously not going to happen for me tonight.
Dragging myself out of bed and into some warmer clothes, I decided not to heed Eloise’s warning from a few nights before that I should stay in at night.
I’d been sneaking out at night to practice my dynamis in the queen’s garden. She had caught me making my way down to the garden one night and scolded me.
I’d heeded her warning for one night, but then had fallen straight back into my routine. The practice was nice, but staring at the stars was the best way for me to clear my mind, and I knew the perfect bench to do it.
Grabbing my thick cloak, I zephyred down to the garden. A whoosh of air shuddered around me as I said a prayer to the gods that my face would not end up slammed against the door. Zephyring through solid objects still made me nervous.
