Page 137 of Rising Out of the Darkness
Elena
“Wake, Elena.”
“Wake!”
I clutched my racing heart as I tried to soothe myself back to a calm state. The dream had been different this time. It had been darker, colder. No battles, no revisiting of the night of my mother’s death. Instead, it was like I was swallowed into a dark void, with no chance of escape.
Screams had echoed against my ears, full of agony, sadness, despair. I almost felt like I might have been trapped there forever until the familiar voice summoned me back to the present. I swept away the hair from my face and eyes as my mind adjusted to the reminder that I was still in the same room that I’d been living in for over a month.
Two nights ago, the man I’d begun to slowly fall in love with had pushed me away…again. Yet here I was hanging on with all I had, because I still had hope. Hope that I could find my way out of the darkness that clouded my light. No longer could I run away from my fears; it was time for me to step up and face them head on.
Luckily, I wouldn’t have to do it alone. There was just one person I would have to convince to join me. Declan.
The hurt he’d put me through would not easily be forgiven, but I still felt that he was worth fighting for. So tonight, I would make him sweat a little. Remind him of what he might lose. Remind him that I wouldn’t be pushed aside so easily. Make him realize that he wouldn’t be able to let me go, because I wouldn’t let him.
Smirking to myself, I rose from the bed to take a shower. I’d been burrowing inside my room for the past two days. I hadn’t had the willpower to put on a smile for the others after what had transpired in the ballroom. I’d needed to work through my sadness, anger, and confusion before I could wrap my brain around what should happen next.
Yesterday afternoon, I might have secretly told Eloise that I would like some alterations done to my original dress for the ball. There also might have been a few times when I let slip what had happened between Declan and me. It pushed Eloise to get the changes made as soon as possible.
As I dried off my damp hair with a towel, I recalled her words from yesterday.
“Thank gods! That boy has finally met his match in you, Lena. Someone who will go toe to toe with his stubbornness. Someone who will remind him what it means to be happy again. Someone who will fight for those they love.
Tonight, I hoped to do all the above.
Declan
Iwas a wreck.
I’d hurt her.
She’d trusted me. Opened up to me. Let me…
What am I doing?
My mother would be appalled. I was ashamed to be thankful that she wasn’t here to show me that disappointment in person, because it would destroy me more than I already was right now.
I’d valued her opinion of me more than anything in my life, for she was the most amazing soul I’d ever met. Right now, I was more desperate than ever for her unyielding love and support.
Ever since she and my brother had departed from this life, I’d been making a mess of mine. One mistake after another, each one causing someone else in my life pain.
Smoothing my palms down my face, I tried to rub away all the shame, disgust and guilt that dwelled inside of me. So much was weighing down on my shoulders, so many expectations, and everything in me sensed that time was running out. Was I strong enough to hold it all together? Could I make it through all this without sabotaging everything that we’d been working on?
“Thought I might find you here.” Liam crouched down beside me on the edge of the cliff, dangling his legs off the edge, matching mine. “How are you holding up, brother?”
I tossed him a pointed expression. He slapped me across the back. “Yeah, I figured that might be the case.”
“Everything is a mess.” I paused, rubbing my hand over my jaw. “I don’t think I can fix it this time, Liam.”
Leaning back on his hand, he looked deep in thought as he gazed out into the ocean’s waves. “She’s stronger than you think, you know?”
I only grunted in response.
“She has her insecurities and struggles, just like we all do. Just like you do.” He paused, waiting for me to look at him. “But she keeps meeting every challenge thrown at her. She continues to rise. Every. Damn. Time. You can’t keep treating her like some fragile jewel that will break the moment you let her in, Dec. Elena deserves more faith than that.”
I sucked my lips between my teeth, nodding in agreement.
“Life has been out of her control for far too long. The little lady deserves to make her own decisions for once.”
