Page 7 of Rising Out of the Darkness
Brietta Kantor was the priestess of our small town and had been my mother’s best friend. Father had worked as a guard for her family, and my mother had worked in her home as her lady-in-waiting. After Brietta’s family was killed in the capital city, she chose to flee with my mother and father to come live in this town. She was the only other true friend I had here, besides Father and Will.
Since she had lived in the City of Shadows for a time, her dynamis was like my father’s, stronger than all of ours. Bri had Empath dynamis and could not only feel emotions around her but manipulate them as well. Empaths could bring anyone to a state of calm.
My parents had me start regular meditation lessons with her once my panic attacks began to spiral out of control. She’d beenwith me through the darkest of times. Without her help, I didn’t know if I would be where I was today.
These past few years I’d been working on myself, struggling to embody this “strength” that both Bri and my father seemed to believe dwelled within me. However, it had been hard to fight against the most brutal tormentor I had ever faced—my own mind. It often left me feeling like I’d fought a century-long battle.
Some days I could push past the darkness that plagued my thoughts and filled me with anxiousness. Other days, I’d scream, kick, and fight just to break free. Masking my weakness with a smile and laughter had become a habit as every day I strove to just make it through.
An ache in my chest blossomed. Concentrating on my breathing, I paused and placed a hand over my chest to alleviate the anxiety welling beneath.
This ceremony today was more than just about coming into my dynamis. It was a way for me to repay them for all the kindness and love that they had shown me, for supporting me every time I failed. There was no way I could let them down today.
Ascension days were the busiest days that the temple ever saw. Elysians strolled in and out to give blessings to the gods, asking them to guide their children or friends towards the dynamis that was meant for them. Countless members of the town pulled together to make sure that the stone temple was decorated and prepared for the ceremony.
Lost in thought, I barely noticed the man trying to squeeze around me with arms full of bundles of flowers. He shoved past me with a grunt, as he shook his head. Rolling my eyes, I shifted course, heading left down the hallway towards Bri’s room.
My panic attacks had begun plaguing me at a very young age, some so bad that they would take over my entire body,rendering me useless until the wave of anxiety passed. They were uncontrollable, and they didn’t happen only within the safe boundaries of my home, no matter how hard I tried to keep them concealed. As a result, many of the villagers had witnessed my attacks, causing me to be a bit of an anomaly around town.
As I walked towards Bri’s chambers, I gave myself a once-over and cringed. Dirt crusted underneath my fingernails and dusted my clothes from training. My hair felt frazzled and wild.
Gods bless Brietta and give her strength for what she’s about to do.
She must have heard my steps in the hallway, because before I could knock on the wooden door, she opened it to throw her arms around me in a hug.
Brietta was truly beautiful, the only person who could ever compete with the beauty of my own mother. Perhaps that was one of the many reasons that they’d gotten along so well—they were beautiful not only in appearance, but within their souls as well.
Bri’s white-blonde waves framed her petite face and curled in waves down her back. Striking amber eyes shone against her fair complexion, and her cheeks always appeared painted with the softest shade of rose.
She herded me towards the basin in the corner as I tossed my sweaty clothes aside. One toe in the water was enough to take my breath away. When I pulled it out abruptly, I was surprised to not find it encased in ice. I opened my mouth to complain when a sponge collided against my forehead.
“If you hadn’t taken so long at training, it would have been warmer. I told Warren to let you skip training today. He’s a stubborn ass, like someone else I know.”
She snorted as I gritted my teeth and plunged into the freezing water to wash away the sweat of the morning.
Moments later, she hummed happily towards me, tossed me a fluffy towel and motioned towards a robe hanging over the chair. After tying the sash around my waist, I joined her by her desk.
An arrangement of tools lay neatly on top of it. Something about it made me grimace in fear. Perhaps I should pray to the gods for divine intervention? My face must have looked amusing, because Bri laughed, politely shoving me onto the wooden stool in front of her. “Stop your fretting, Elena.” She picked up a comb. “You have no idea how long your mother and I have been wanting to do this to you.”
As my heart plummeted to my stomach, I watched in the mirror as her smile fell. This would be another memory I wouldn’t be able to share with my mother. Sadness began to weave its way in once more. Ever observant, Bri grabbed a cloth from the table and swiped the tear that managed to escape.
“I’m so sorry, Lena,” she spoke softly, “I know how hard today is for you. Your mother loved you so much. She would be so proud of what a wonderful woman you’ve become.” Bri placed a kiss on top of my head. My heart swelled from her words, but no matter how hard I tried, there was no avoiding the dark voice in my mind, the one that relished in reminding me that it was because of me that we only spoke of my mother in the past tense.
Bri began to comb out the endless tangles of my long, auburn hair. I glanced towards her reflection in the mirror, meeting her eyes.
“So, what do you think you can do with all of … this?” I gestured a circle over all of me.
Her infectious laughter filled the room. I tried not to take offense, but I could feel the heat of embarrassment burning on my cheeks.
“Elena!” she scolded. “How can you not see how gorgeous you are? Why do you always dismiss your beauty? You’re every bit as beautiful as Althea. Your eyes are the most fascinating combination of your mother’s ocean blues and your father’s sage greens. Sometimes, I swear they sparkle like the jewels they are.” She tilted the mirror closer towards me. Her eyes begged me to take a second look.
I’d never been one to linger while using a mirror. It was hard to focus too long when you were ashamed of the reflection that stared back at you. Not wanting to frustrate Bri any further, I did as she asked.
As I peered into the mirror, hints of my mother’s beauty misted through. Her hair had been lighter, more of a copper tone than my deep reddish-brown locks. Her hair had fallen around her in delicate waves, as opposed to my boundless, unruly waves, but once the sun reflected onto them, the same flecks of gold flickered through like embers of fire.
Compared to my mother’s, my complexion was fairer. No matter how long I spent outside, my complexion never deepened in shade. Millions of speckled spots kissed the tip of my nose and the tops of my cheeks, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Another thing I didn’t share with either of my parents, just like my anxiety.
Deeper into the mirror I fell, until the only part of my face that I really liked flashed in front of me. My eyes. Not the puffy, purple patches of skin underneath them, but the collision of blues and greens. It was like looking into the deepest most turbulent parts of the ocean. The two colors crashed into each other, spilling into the endless voids of my pupils, a beautiful illusion for the turmoil behind them.
