Page 98 of Book Boyfriends
“It’s just strange. Until the guys showed up, I hadn’t realized how much of my characters I based on real people. You and Owen. Jackson and Lars,” I say, motioning with the hairbrush.
“There are a lot of similarities, but they’re not carbon copies of us. Lars is like the unpolished version of Jackson… And Owen lacks my sass.” She taps her fingers on her thigh. “Though, it makes sense why you’d base those characters on us. We are the two people you’re closest to. Especially when you started writing the books. Until the last three years, when you’ve expanded your social network a bit.”
“Yeah, butwhydid I write a Will character?” I grimace. “Oh god, does my subconscious still want him?”
“No!” she laughingly protests.
“Then why?” I toss the hairbrush onto the bed. “Because I don’t want him. If this situation has taught me anything, it’s that, as painful as what happened was, I’m grateful for it. Will was a terrible boyfriend. That relationship wasn’t at all what I thought it was. I deserved better.”
“You deserve everything.” Her mouth lifts into a sweet smile. “Maybe you wroteThe Duke’s Darlingto say goodbye.”
My face scrunches. “We’d already said goodbye.”
“Yeah, but I think writing the book allowed you to finally let go of that relationship and the expectations you’d had for your life. You may not have finalized, edited, and published the book until a year ago, but it was three years ago when you finished your initial draft. Three years ago, when you started to get back out there again. To live your life again.”
Blinking, I sit on the edge of the bed. The writing and publication table flips in my mind’s eye like a picture book telling the story. While indie publishing my books gives me a faster pace than traditional publishing’s glacial speed, I take time with each book. Drafting may only take three to four months—well, until my current work in progress—but the revision, editing, and other stages of publication may take up to a year or more.
“If the book was about saying goodbye, then why did I have James end up with Lady Cecily?”
“You mean the Georgia-in-Regency-Costume character?” She smirks.
“Yikes! Am I a narcissist as well?” Cringing, I cover my face.
“One character flaw at a time,” she teases, tapping her bare foot against my hip. “You did it because you’re obsessed with the expected happy ending. You’d never write a romance where the rakish duke remains unreformed and the heroine ends up with the quiet, and a little boring, but sweet marquis.”
“She should have ended up with the marquis.” I shake my head.
“At least real-life Lady Georgia may end up with the marquis.”
“No dukes for me, reformed or otherwise. Never again.” Laughing, I stand up and move to stand in front of the mirror hanging on the closet door to slip on my earrings.
“Not to mention,yourmarquis doesn’t sound boring. Not in the least.”
Happiness fizzes inside me. Davis is nothing like I thought, and somehow, everything I want all in one handsome package. Just like Lady Cecily with the birdwatching Simon Davenport, the Marquis of Hampton, I could have missed out on a sweet man.
“I almost missed my chance with Davis, not just because our first date went so poorly, but because of my own preconceived notions. He could have done everything right, and our time together may still have ended with just that date. When I play back that first date, I see the little ways in which I’d gone into it with the idea that he’d not beit. That he wasn’t like?—”
“The boyfriends from your books.”
“God!” I laughingly groan. “Such a cliché.”
“We’re all a little clichéd at times. I was the girl who pined for her best friend’s older brother.” She pats her belly. “And look how that turned out. My money is on a happy ending for you.”
“Whether things turn out with Davis or not,” I add. My gaze meets hers, and certainty curves my lips.
For the first time in my life, I have no idea how things will turn out, or even a sense that they will. If they don’t, it doesn’t mean my story won’t be happy. Every story ends. But how it ends isn’t certain. What is certain is that if I only focus on the endings, I miss all the pages in between.
“More importantly, it doesn’t matter how it ends. What matters is that I just live it.”
“Good girl,” she purrs, making us both laugh. “Now, important question, do you have condoms in your purse? Because I know you’re wearing your sexy, barely-there black lace panties and I’m sure they won’t be on long.”
“Eww…gross,” Rem groans, appearing at the door. “I did not need that thought in my head. I may have to give Davisthe talk.”
“You certainly will not.” Eyes narrowed, I place my hands on my hips.
“Why do you have your keys?” Hope points at him.
“I’m trying to decide if I want to stay here and be the intimidating older brother when Davis picks her uporhead over to Jackson’s and be the enraged older brother there with Jim or whatever the Duke of Dickery is called.”
