Page 34 of Filter This
‘Well, if you don’t mind, we’re trying to squeeze in a little bit of us-time here …’ Shelly was careful to keep her tone light – the followers could quickly turn nasty if they sensed you were trying to move them on.
‘Of course, your mum’s minding Georgie for the night,’ she said, still apparently not getting the hint.
‘Mm-hmm.’ Shelly nodded. Dan had resumed eating. Loudly. Shelly knew how to get rid of her. ‘Will we do a selfie?’
The girl’s face lit up. ‘Yes!’
Dan’s eyes bore into her as she leaned her head in to the girl’s and smiled for the camera.
‘OK, well, it was—’ Shelly began wrapping up the encounter but the girl clearly had other plans.
‘Do you not want one for your feed?’
‘Ehhh … OK.’ Shelly took out her phone and snapped a quick shot of the two of them.
‘I wasn’t ready! Go again.’
Shelly shot Dan a pleading look. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mouthed but Dan just kept chewing furiously. Shelly took another pic, which the girl peered at.
‘Can you just tidy up my jaw a bit? And just take, like, an inch off my arm there.’ Shelly paused and the girl looked impatient. ‘In FaceFix, like – here, let me do it, it won’t take a sec.’ She grabbed the phone and quickly tweaked the image. ‘There, now you’ll tag me, won’t you? I’m @KellysKlobber – I’m a fashion blogger too!’
‘Oh, amazing, I must check out your blog. It’s been so nice to meet you.’ Shelly was firm, giving her two air kisses. ‘Have a lovely night, Kelly.’ She squeezed her wrist and managed to give her a gentle push away from the table. Kelly, looking delighted with the encounter, wandered back to her table, where several couples were sitting, craning their necks to look at Shelly and Dan. Shelly gave a little wave and Dan laughed.
‘The queen waves at her loyal subjects.’ He shoved the last bite of steak into his mouth sullenly.
Shelly stiffened. She wanted to tell him to cop on and stop being so over the top. However, she was keenly aware that they were on show here in the dining room, surrounded by couples chatting and enjoying the view over the ocean and the cliffs to the right of the bay. There was a winding path up along those cliffs where Shelly planned to suggest a walk tomorrow. She’d tell him about the new baby there. It would be private but not so private that Dan could go completely apeshit either. Unless he went all out and gave her a push. Shelly nearly laughed out loud and Dan spotted her smiling.
‘What?’
Seeing an opportunity, Shelly decided to try to get him back in a good mood. ‘Oh, just the corn protectors – I’d completely forgotten about that collab. What was I thinking?’
She could see Dan relax slightly. He laughed and then they were both laughing and it felt really good. Shelly felt a pang for the early days. He leaned forward. ‘That girl, though, Kelly’s Klobber!’ This started them off again and the tension seemed to ease.
Dan stood. ‘I’m just going to the jacks – wanna see about dessert menus?’ Shelly nodded and watched him head off. She asked a passing waiter for the dessert menu and pulled out her phone to post the outfit pic from earlier. She kept one eye out for Dan as she searched the drafts and selected the post – she didn’t want him catching her on the phone. The waiter dropped off the menus and started clearing the plates just as she hit Share. She stashed her phone back in her bag as Dan came back into the dining room. She smiled brightly at him as he sat down.
‘So, I thought we might go for a walk tomorrow?’
‘Oh yeah?’ Dan was scanning the dessert menu, distracted.
‘Yeah, just to get some time together. Alone. Just us.’
Dan had put down the menu and was looking at her with mild amusement. The look could be interpreted as mocking, but maybe that was part of their problem as a couple – their marriage had become a vicious cycle of perceived slights, defensiveness and no real communication.
‘I am aware of the meaning of “alone”,’ said Dan. ‘I’m not the one who struggles with that concept.’ He glanced down at Shelly’s right hand that was empty, conspicuously so. No phone at dinner. Dan’s phone was out on the table between them, but his phone hadn’t become some symbol of their dysfunction. Shelly’s, on the other hand, was like a mistress – a rarely referred to, nefarious entity lingering in the marriage. It was buzzing away in her bag against her leg, purring like a loving pet. She could feel it vibrating with notifications, likes and adoring comments on her date-night outfit. Telling her she was beautiful and lucky. That her life was something to aspire to, that she and Dan were goals.
‘Have I taken my phone out once?’ Shelly could feel her blood rising. It was the same argument over and over, so familiar now that they didn’t have to do the extended dance of accusations and recriminations to build the rage from minor hurt to all-out fury. It was as though at the end of each fight the rage did not diminish but remained coiled, ready for its next round, burning as brightly as it had the last time Shelly had shoved it away.
‘You’re the one struggling with this – you can’t deal with my success. Have I so much as looked at my phone since we’ve been here?’ demanded Shelly again. Then she checked herself, imagining a hundred Instagram Stories capturing a meltdown.
‘Shelly, has it occurred to you that I go on about this because I care about you?’ Dan was being quiet, doing his I’m-so-calm-and-reasonable Dan thing, which usually annoyed Shelly. Now, however, she really looked at him and any scathing tone was gone. He looked tired and a little sad. ‘I’m not jealous of your free swag and being accosted by sycophantic twenty-year-olds over dinner. I’m worried about what all this has done to us, to Georgie, to our family. To you. It’s not healthy, turning your whole life into this sideshow of perfection.’
Shelly was sitting ramrod straight, her hands gripping the sides of her chair. She felt very hot all of a sudden.
Dan looked drawn. ‘I do want to salvage this.’ He reached a hand across the tablecloth. ‘I think we can.’
‘Salvage it?’ Fear gripped her – had it really gotten to this?
‘I don’t think I want to stay married to the two of you … to Shelly and SHELLY.’ Dan was choosing his words carefully. ‘I want my daughter to be a kid for as long as possible, not playing “selfies” and saying she wants to be a YouTuber when she grows up.’
