Page 57 of Filter This
Dr Clarke’s eyes widened slightly and flickered to Shelly but she remained impassive. ‘We don’t like to use words like “normal” here,’ she said, to which Dan laughed bitterly.
‘Excellent, you two will get on famously.’
‘I’m feeling really attacked right now …’ Shelly whispered, the line lifted straight from Plum’s how-to-win-therapy pep talk. ‘I had no choice with the, ehm, stand-in that we used for that event. I had an obligation to fulfil and we weren’t speaking at the time. We didn’t pretend he was you exactly.’ She couldn’t bear to look at Dr Clarke’s face, knowing she was losing ground rapidly in terms of seeming like the good one in this relationship. ‘People might’ve assumed … and we just didn’t correct them.’
Dan held her gaze, his eyes narrowing, and Shelly swallowed. He pulled out his phone casually. ‘Oh, really? No pretending took place at all?’ He flicked his index finger over the screen and began to read:
Fun times at the #DaddyBearsPicnic today. Thanks for the LOLs @GreenHilliardMasonPR and so great to keep up with all my international business deals with my awesome @SamsungOfficial handsfree package. Before you ask, the suit’s @HugoBoss from @BrownThomasOfficial gifted to me by love of my life @ShellyDevine #ad #spon
‘Hashtag blahblah fuckin’ blah.’
Shelly cringed as Dan threw the phone onto the low table between them – she could see Dr Clarke twisting slightly to check out the pic.
‘If you’re going to create a fake version of me online, do I have to sound like such a prick? That’s a reasonable enough request, isn’t it, doctor? Although, if she gave a shit about what I wanted perhaps she’d listen when I say I don’t want to play your dumb little Instagram game anymore. Is it too much to ask for you to stop publishing photos of me and captions purporting to be written by me without my consent? There has to be a legal line being crossed here – it’s a form of identity theft, as far as I can see.’
‘You said it was OK at the start.’ Shelly knew how feeble this protest sounded and Dan didn’t even bother to address it.
‘Shelly,’ he turned around to face her, ‘do you actually want to save us? Or are we sitting here because you want to save face?’
This question stopped Shelly cold and she could find no Plum-approved ‘I feel’ response.
‘I … I just … you knew that we were still honouring the @DivineDanDevine posts. You didn’t mind before when the money was coming in and you didn’t really have to do anything.’ She looked down at her hands. Her manicure was perfect; her engagement ring sparkled, almost in defiance of how grubby and mercenary their relationship had become.
‘I mind now, I think I’ve made that clear. And what I really mind is you not giving a crap about my feelings on all this. And,’ he was on a roll, his voice getting louder, ‘I mind Georgie being trotted out for freebies and to make you look good. You barely even spend time with her when there isn’t a camera around.’
This really stung. Deep down, Shelly knew there was truth in it but she couldn’t bear the humiliation of Dr Clarke hearing it. They could never come here again. Then she caught herself – as if there would be an ‘ever again’ for her and Dan in therapy.
‘You don’t know how hard it was for me when Georgie was born. I was struggling and you just left me to it.’
Dr Clarke was writing furiously in her notes and Shelly shuddered to think of the conclusions she was drawing. She looked up and clasped her hands earnestly in front of her. ‘I think we are making progress, even if it doesn’t quite feel that way right now,’ she intoned in her soothing therapist voice. ‘Next week, you’ll both have gained some distance from the issues here.’
Dan barked a laugh and stood, grabbing his jacket. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t take any of this seriously. I’m not coming back after gaining distance or whatever. She can’t face reality and I’m done trying to break through her filter. Everything is just a front for her. Even this therapy exercise is probably just a photo op for some faux-revealing post about looking after your mental health – that’s very on-trend right now, right, Shelly?’ His mouth twisted into a grim smile.
‘How dare you. We’re here to resolve our marriage.’ Shelly didn’t feel nearly as indignant as she sounded. It was hard to summon indignation when you knew the other person had a point. Of course she wouldn’t be posting about their couple’s therapy but she did want them to get back on track. And maybe a part of that was about brand SHELLY.
‘I just don’t believe that, Shelly. You’re living a lie and I’m done with being some set dressing in your weird beige and blush pink life.’ He stormed out the door.
Shelly sat in her car eating a bag of doughnuts and feeling uncharacteristically nihilistic.
‘First sessions can often be explosive,’ Dr Clarke had tried to reassure her as she’d left, head down and cheeks burning. She couldn’t believe that woman had witnessed the whole sorry mess of her marriage laid bare.
‘Sorry, I think I’m just really hormonal,’ Shelly’d offered by way of explanation, as if the woman hadn’t just witnessed her husband completely annihilating her.
Now, licking the sugar from her fingers, she felt at a loss, a loss so complete and empty it was frightening. Her phone beeped – an Insta-message. The handle was strange, just @___________.
I know about your lies.
Shelly clicked on the profile, it was private with just two followers. Kelly’s Klobber? It had to be.
23
‘Morning, ladies! How are you guys? I am so late! I have about a gazillion appointments today but I just had to come on and tell you all about this amazing supplement I’ve been gifted called Nailed iT – I’ve linked them here.’ Ali indicated the bottom of the screen, before turning serious. ‘You wouldn’t believe how a woman’s confidence can suffer when her nails are all flaky and bendy. Nailed iT are helping women all over the world to love themselves and feel more confident. It’s seriously the best thing I’ve ever used for my nails, like ever. So give them a follow and see if they can improve your nail life! Right, I’m off to get my coconut pancakes cos baby needs her protein.’
Ali played back the video and added the link to the nail-supplement people, hit Post and settled back to finish her coffee.
‘It’s an amazing supplement, is it? Improving the lives of cutically challenged women the world over?’ It was early but Liv was still firing on all cynical cylinders.
‘Yes, it’s life-changing,’ Ali replied happily. ‘As is making a grand over breakfast.’
