Page 64 of Filter This
‘OK, OK.’ Adrienne was desperately trying to regain control of the situation.
Joanna was crying quietly as Helena stroked her back. ‘She made it sound so awful,’ she whispered. ‘Surely it’s not going to be like that?’
‘She’s been against us since the beginning of this retreat,’ Adrienne hissed. ‘Don’t even think about those hateful words.’
‘What kind of psycho would want to get rid of a baby to have a nap?’ Helena asked, which Ali felt was a little unfair.
‘Well, it’s not like any of us really know what it’s like, though, do we?’ she ventured tentatively. ‘They do cry a fair bit. Do you have kids, Adrienne?’
‘Ali,’ Adrienne aimed the staff at her, ‘that is not the point. If you want to go all Team Shelly, so be it. But know this, she is a toxic entity.’
‘I’m not Team Shelly – I’m just saying she knows, is all.’
‘I think Shelly has done enough today,’ Adrienne snapped. ‘I will not allow her to ruin this ceremony completely. Now, please, your totems. Prepare to fling your former self onto this symbolic funeral pyre and be reborn as the goddesses of infinite wisdom, patience, perfection and nurturing you were born to be.’
Shit. The watch. Ali cast about for something to use instead. There was nothing but leaves and twigs on the ground. Fuck this crazy bitch, Ali! Just tell her you’re not doing it. But after the venom Shelly’s outburst had inspired, Ali felt wary of pissing Adrienne off further. Plus, she was filming again, and all of Ali’s followers would see her arguing on Instagram with the guru.
One by one the women were stepping forward and dropping teddy bears and old jewellery into the flames. One woman tossed in a pair of high heels. Helena, the private funds manager, threw in her datebook. ‘All my clients,’ she announced proudly. ‘I’m so looking forward to my new life as “Mama”.’
Gah, it was a fucking cult. It was nearly Ali’s turn. As the woman to her right threw in a sexy lingerie set, Ali, dismayed, hurriedly tucked the watch into her waistband and gingerly tugged out one of her strips of hair extensions. She walked forward and threw it into the fire nervously. Would that count?
Adrienne narrowed her eyes but said nothing.
Pissing her off was a small price to pay, Ali figured. She could never have lived with the idea that some mad hippy had peer-pressured her into burning Miles’s watch.
She thought back to the last time she could remember him wearing it. He’d been singing her ‘Happy Birthday’ in the kitchen of the house in Seapoint.
‘I hate to tell you but it’s not even my birthday, Dad!’ She’d tried to sound casual. She’d just arrived with dinner – Mini must’ve been away.
‘I know that.’ Miles’s clear blue eyes had crinkled as he smiled. ‘I’m not that far gone!’ He’d come closer then, softly singing ‘Dear Ali’ before leaning down to hug her. ‘I get the feeling that I might not be able to sing it to you some day,’ he whispered. He’d straightened up as Ali blinked away tears, pressed her lips together and tried to smile. ‘Time’s not on our side.’ He’d tapped the watch. ‘So I’ll get a few happy birthdays in in advance.’
Ali felt a drop on her bare feet, bringing her back to the forest. It was starting to rain. Adrienne concluded the chanting and turned to the camera to wrap up the recording with some details about the website and pricelists and then herded the women back towards the centre.
26
‘It’s Tuesday 26 March. Our top stories: social media star and actress Shelly Devine has come under fire for inflammatory comments recorded in leaked footage that came to light yesterday evening. We go now to Teresa Daly reporting live from the Devine compound – Teresa, can you tell us how events are currently unfolding?’
TheEye On Todaystudio disappeared and was replaced by a harried-looking Teresa Daly, who was positioned in front of the large electronic gates leading to the Devine home. It was 6 pm and nearly dark but in the distance, beyond the gates, the lights of Shelly and Dan’s mansion glowed. Teresa squinted into the spotlight trained on her from behind the camera and in fevered, breathless tones she began to relate the minutiae of the day.
‘We’ve been here since early this morning, awaiting any comment from the Devine camp. Family members and supportive friends have entered and exited but as yet there has been no sign of Shelly Devine or her husband, Daniel Devine. The couple lives in luxury, as you can see from the extensive grounds and lavish home behind me. Shelly Devine has a successful lifestyle brand across various social media platforms, most notably her Instagram account. The Shelly Devine account is a destination for mothers in particular, as Ms Devine often documents family life through collaborations with many of the country’s leading clothing and homewares brands so it was with shock and dismay that her some 300,000 followers heard her deride mothers in a vicious tirade apparently captured during a wellness retreat in Killorglin, County Kerry.’
‘Turn it off, sweetheart.’ Sandra positioned herself in front of the TV in Shelly’s living room, hands on hips. ‘You mustn’t watch.’
‘It’s a bleedin’ disgrace that RTÉ are wasting the TV licences on that wan standing out there all day.’ Jim came in with the teapot, a pint of milk and a packet of biscuits tucked under his arm.
Shelly sprang up from the couch to help him. ‘I have to watch it, Mum. How do I go about pretending I’m not the main subject of the evening news? I need to know what they’re saying.’
‘Shhh, shhh.’ Jim held a hand up. ‘Who’s that?’
Sandra moved to one side as Jim and Shelly scrambled back to the couch to watch. Teresa and the crew were on the move. A dark BMW had pulled up at the keypad for the gates. The camera was shaking, veering between ground and sky, and briefly captured the operator’s scuffed sneakers running over the gravel. Teresa Daly could be faintly heard growling, ‘Get him, get him.’ Suddenly the camera found Dan in the glare of the spotlight, looking furious, leaning out the driver’s window to press the keypad.
Shelly gripped the arm of the sofa. She’d tried to call him earlier but couldn’t get him. In a brief text, she’d asked him to call her but he’d obviously been tied up all day.
‘Daniel Devine, can you tell us anything about your wife’s state of mind right now? Is she remorseful? Will she be making a statement? What do you think of your wife’s comments?’
Shelly could see the gates opening slowly just beyond Dan’s car. Open, open. Open! she willed.
‘Those gates are terrible slow,’ Sandra remarked, hands still on hips, gazing down at her erstwhile son-in-law.
