Page 46 of The Snag List
She was counting the days until her period would come and Eddie would stop monitoring her. Next month she’d put him off trying altogether – it was too much on top of her edginess aboutVoices of Glory. The parts for the musical were being announced at rehearsals the next day, but anyone who’d landed lead roles would be notified by email tonight. This was because theGlee Mecrew needed key cast members in rehearsals earlier to shoot talking heads and reaction shots ahead of the real announcement.
Being on a reality show was adding a whole other layer of fakery to her life right now. Dodging pregnancy was shady but it wasn’t the worst thing. However, she hadn’t mentioned a word about getting coaching from Lindy to Eddie. And when she’d told him, after the fact, about auditioning, he’d been lukewarm, so she had massively downplayed how well it had gone. Any other year, Eddie would have been thrilled to see her putting herself out there, but this year the baby plan was all he seemed to be thinking about.
‘Here we go – take it easy in there now, Roe.’ Eddie parked outside the delivery entrance in the lane beside the restaurant. ‘You don’t need to be running around. You’re the manager, delegate. Get Danny to cover the upstairs section tonight, will you?’
‘OK, firstly, relax. Women have won weight-lifting titles while in the throes of pregnancy. And secondly, I’m not even—’
Frenzied rapping on the car window startled them both. Danny. And by the looks of him, Danny at least 800 per cent more frenetic than usual. Her gut seized with a potent blend of anxiety and excitement. The email has to have come through. Her phone was in her bag on silent. She hesitated to roll down her window. She hadn’t wanted to find out in front of Eddie. If she was cast, she needed a game plan. Unfortunately, Eddie was already opening her window from the button on his side.
‘What is he on?’ Eddie laughed as Danny’s arm came over the retreating glass first, followed by his entire upper body.
‘Roe, you Liza–Barbra–Bette love-child. Have you SEEN? You got it.’ He grabbed her face and smooched her lovingly.
‘Wow.’ Eddie smiled tepidly and Roe caught a twinge of unease in his eyes.
Danny clearly didn’t notice. ‘Our girl is the lead, Eddie! The lead. I could cry but this mascara runs. Roe O’NeillisNiamh Kavanagh. Aaaaand I am none other than Michael Flatley baby.’
Something joyous and awesome whooshed through her. A feeling so big and beautiful, Roe couldn’t help but also feel a shard of sadness as she realised it was one of the happiest moments she’d experienced in years. Maybe ever.
‘Oh, Roe, that’s … wonderful.’ Eddie’s words faltered as he leaned over to catch the tears she hadn’t noticed on her cheeks. ‘It’s such an achievement. You’ll aways have it.’
‘Enjoy this moment, darl.’ Danny was uncharacteristically solemn. ‘I’ll get in there and distract Gina. Give you two a moment to celebrate.’ He blew a kiss and ducked into the restaurant.
‘Wow, so you got it!’ Eddie looked a bit stunned. ‘Had to be this year, huh?’
Roe’s big beautiful feeling was shrinking by the second but she was feeling defiant. ‘Well, I’d hardly be doing it next year if we had a baby kicking around.’
‘Yeah.’ Eddie nodded, his eyes on the dash.
‘It could take us years to get pregnant. I can’t be tiptoeing around every month on the off-chance there’s a zygote sloshing around in there, Eddie. Anyway, they are super protected in there – a bit of singing won’t do anything.’
She flashed on the drills Lindy had sent her in the accountability Slack channel she’d set up called Operation Triple Threat. It was a sadistic tutorial for improving lung capacity – singing while doing some very hardcore stuff with skipping ropes. ‘Eight shows a week, you’ll thank me, you pathetic ingrates,’ the instructor in the clip barked. ‘Do you think Barrett Wilbert Weed would complain about this? This is conditioning for dancing and singing and keeping a goddamn smile on your face.’
‘Yeah.’ Eddie exhaled. ‘I know. You’re right.’
Roe sensed he needed more reassurance. She hated them being so distant. It made her feel untethered, a little unsafe. ‘Look, if you duff me up in the next few months, I’ll drop out. Róisín will have contingency for that kind of thing.’
She tried to ignore how satisfied Eddie looked at that suggestion. But it poked at her as she said goodbye and went through the dinner service set-up.
‘He should want this for me,’ she vented to Danny as they pushed tables for the supper club together.
‘OK, you know I’ll denigrate male entitlement any day of the week, but to be fair to Eddie, have you been honest with him?’
‘Well …’
‘No is the answer,’ Danny snapped.
‘Wait, I—’
‘The question was rhetorical, Roe. You haven’t. Have you said the words: I don’t want your goddamn spooge spawn? Have you said: I actually think I want to shoot for the moon and get on stage? No. I’m sorry, but I’m getting a bit bored of this now, Roe.’
‘OK. Ouch.’ They pulled back the huge front windows of DeLacey’s in silence. The evening was going to be beautiful. Early June nights in the dining room overlooking the water were very special. A warm summer breeze, ripe with possibility, drifted in and was enough to overthrow the upset Roe was feeling. At least for the moment.
I got the part!
14
LINDY AND ADAM WERE IN WICKLOW, STANDING IN waist-deep, sharply cold water, paddles in hand, with two long, wide boards floating in the water before them. The beach was beautiful in the pale Friday-morning sun; they’d cleared the day’s schedule specially. The strand was deserted except for their bleached and weathered instructor, who was carrying the last board down from his van parked in the dunes.
