Page 52 of The Snag List
‘Not yet!’ Róisín widened her eyes meaningfully. Then she whipped round to bark at a tenor who was singing Dana at least thirty feet away: ‘You! You’re flat on that second line.’ She spun away into the crowd.
‘So that was the extremely type-A Róisín, as you gathered, Holly.’ Seb was his usual playful self. ‘She won’t be satisfied until we’re served legal papers over some libellous chorus or something. Gavin, my right hand,’ Seb continued with his formal introductions.
‘Cute nickname!’ Ailbhe chimed. ‘You should bemyright hand, Holly.’
‘Excuse me, I amnotyour right hand.’ She turned to Seb and Gavin. ‘You’d never know what her hand has been up to, she has a new baby—’
‘Puppy!’ Ailbhe quickly cut across her, smiling broadly at the two men and telepathically screaming at Holly.You had one job, don’t mention the bloody family!
‘Oh, class, any pics? I love a puppy.’
Gavin needs to shut up, Ailbhe thought darkly. ‘I’ve no piccies,’ she snapped. ‘He’s very new.’
‘Weird, that’s the first thing I’d do if I got a puppy,’ Gavin mused.
‘Jesus, Gavin. I’ll email you some, OK?’
Seb snorted then calmly suggested they set up the make-up station. ‘Here’s the list of talking heads. All our key cast members are briefed and we’ll send them over, starting with Linda Martin.’
‘Yes, grand.’ Ailbhe had a moment’s relief that he was at least keeping it to business when, just before turning away, he leaned in close to her.
‘You know, I can see you’ve read my messages, Ailbhe. As I said, I’m in the Jurys Inn again and I’d love to treat you to another extortionate Mint Crisp.’ He winked and was gone, with Gavin streaking after him.
‘Seriously, Ailbh, what are you doing?’ Holly’s voice cut through the din of singing. ‘What’s he on about Mint Crisps? Also, denying your baby’s existence is extremely fucked up.’
Ailbhe felt a bit sick at Holly’s words. She wished denying Tilly’s existence was the worst thing on the list of fucked-up shit she was currently doing. Thank God she only had a couple of weeks left before she was on the plane and home free.
16
‘SOOOO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: YOU HAVE THE time to throw yourself a little goodbye party but have left Siobhán in the lurch withGlee Methree times in the last two weeks?’ Holly swigged her Bellini, leaning against the kitchen counter. ‘You insist that you do it and I stay in the salon then you bail – what’s the story?’
‘Please, please, don’t be mean to me.’ Ailbhe was putting last-minute touches to the boards of cured meats and cheeses that had been delivered that morning. Holly was right, Ailbhe had been avoiding any rehearsal that Seb was scheduled to be at. She knew she was being seriously unprofessional and even worse, she still hadn’t told Seb that she was leaving. She was waiting until she was safely on American soil – from her reddit trawling she’d decided once and for all to chance it in that department.
‘I’m not being mean to you! I’m just calling out your bullshit.’
‘At my goodbye party?’
‘If you’d fucking spoken to me over the last three weeks and not left me blue-ticked, we wouldn’t have to be having this conversation right now. We’d have already gone through it and I’d have been able to be pleasant at this little shindig, and just hate youquietlyas per the laws of long-term female friendship. But your ghosting me has forced my hand.’ Holly shrugged wearily and Ailbhe knew she was thawing.
‘I didn’t mean to ghost, Hols … At least I’m a friendly ghost.’
‘Don’t be cute.’ Holly was stern. ‘You’re not cute, Ailbhe.’
‘OK, but in my defence, Tilly’s still only three and a bit months old. I’m probably still hormonal.’
‘Whore-monal more like.’
‘I am scum.’ Ailbhe nodded contritely. Appeasing Holly was Ailbhe’s only shot.
‘You are scum.’ Holly nodded sagely. ‘OK, c’mere. I’m done with the lambasting. This Bellini is very good.’ Holly gathered Ailbhe in a consoling hug. ‘Don’t ever do that again, though. You’re fifty not fifteen.’
‘I am forty-two, you cunt!’
‘Hmmm. How is your cunt doing these days? Has it re-formed yet?’
‘Like a nineties boy band, baby.’
‘Holly, you look sensational.’ Tom came in from the hallway and spun around the island to welcome her. ‘Beautify going well?’
