Page 93 of The Snag List
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‘SO, HOW’RE YOU FEELING ABOUT TODAY?’ Fionnuala was barely in Ailbhe’s front door before she’d cornered Lindy for a loving interrogation.
‘Feeling rough.’ Lindy accepted her sister’s hug. The ‘today’ in question was the second day of her and Adam’s hearing in commercial court. The speed at which they’d arrived at this juncture had been dizzying and would never have been possible in the normal course of things. The judge and solicitors had agreed that legal action relating to a family business centred around a child’s life was a unique situation with no precedent whatsoever, and so it demanded quick resolution. Without an official ruling on the business, arrangements for separation and custody couldn’t be resolved. So here they were now, at Adam’s dogged insistence, picking through the downfall of Maxxed Out for a judge to attribute blame.
For the last two weeks, Lindy’d been in hiding. From Giuliana, she’d gathered that the internet’s forensic dissection of the clip (now being referred to as TailGate) didn’t look to be waning anytime soon. She said it had died off for a minute, but the second Adam and Lindy’s date in commercial court leaked, the spotlight was back on them. Usually YouTube drama didn’t make it to the mainstream media but their nightmare, according to one podcast host, was ‘irresistible’ and ‘had it all’ in terms of salacious box-ticking: extramarital sex, weird sex, creepy man-child of whom there was a hundred hours of footage in all manner of ridiculous outfits thanks to the Maxxed Out videos. The front pages of the papers had been adorned with Adam dressed as a fireman, a sailor, a pirate, Pikachu, a king, a clown, a bear and a puppy. Seemingly, all their birthdays had come at once for the headline-writers: ‘Internet Dad’s Depraved Dalliance’; ‘Forget YouTube! Here’s YouLube’; ‘Cyber Sicko Sends Family YouTube Community into Tail-Spin’; and the worst one of all, ‘CliMAXXED Out’.
For once, Monteray’s creepiness was advantageous. With the ‘keep the citizens in and the world out’ policy, no media had been able to breach the compound. Max was mercifully still unaware of the disaster. Lindy had come home the day of the TubeDramZ leak and dropped Max’s phone into the toilet ‘by accident’ so that it needed to be sent for repairs. She had then disabled Ailbhe’s router and blamed Eileen any time Max complained, but she knew it was all only staving off the inevitable. She’d been able to get the video taken down from the YouTube drama channels and she’d also engaged Digital Reputation Rehab, a service that helped people to bury negative things online. Still, even if the DRR made it incredibly hard to find the actual clip – they did complicated things to manipulate the Google search results – people knew about it, the papers had reported it. The time left for protecting Max was slipping through her fingers. School was starting in a matter of days – the day after Roe’s opening night. Max needed to be told, the best she could hope is that he’d never have to see it.
No matter what happened before the judge today, they would survive and this chapter would end. That’s what Ailbhe and Roe chanted practically round the clock.This will pass, this will pass, this will pass.
Everything eventually becomes old news.
‘Are you listening, Lindy? Are these the bags I’m taking, Linds?’ Finn waved a hand at the five stuffed bin-liners grouped in the hall. It was her and Max’s winter clothes – the move to Finn’s had begun.
‘Yes, that’d be great, thank you.’ Finn was also taking Max back to her house to show him his new room and distract him from Lindy’s second day in court. He knew scraps of what was happening, and he also knew something far bigger was being kept from him.
‘Where did you leave things during yesterday’s session?’ Finn was whispering as they passed the living room where Max was watchingGodzilla vs. Kongfor the twentieth time.
‘Adam’s solicitor asked me why I thought I was the right person to be fixing other people’s regrets and I said, “Fucked if I know!”’
‘Aw, Linds …’
Lindy gratefully allowed herself to be folded once more into Finn’s arms. ‘It’s OK.’ Lindy inhaled sharply.It’s not OK, she silently railed. ‘I just never realised that guilt could be such torture. I feel like I’m under an avalanche of it. Paralysed and suffocating. I need to tell Max and I have no idea how.’
‘It’s OK. This is why I’m here – we’ll do this together.’
In the kitchen, Roe was pacing and muttering lines to herself – opening night was finally here. Ailbhe was slouched on the chaise feeding Tilly and scrolling on her phone. Eileen, meanwhile, was pouring coffees.
‘This place is getting more likeThe Golden Girlsby the day!’ Finn said admiringly. ‘I’d almost be jealous if it weren’t for the whole shit-spectacularly-hitting-the-fan bit.’
‘It’s how we like it,’ Ailbhe called. ‘We keep it spicy. OK, Lindy, I’ve got a new one. Tonya Harding’s kid, Gordon.’
‘Okaaay.’ Lindy perked up.
‘I didn’t know Tonya had a sex tape?’ Roe paused in her mutterings.
‘Yup.’ Ailbhe scrolled on. ‘Made on her wedding night in 1990 but the douchebag husband didn’t give it to the papers till ’94 when Tonya was knee deep, so to speak, in the whole Nancy debacle.’
‘What are you on about?’ Finn accepted a coffee from Eileen, who provided the answer.
‘They’re trying to find other people with sex tapes to see how their kids are doing now.’ She drifted out of the kitchen to ferry a plate of toast in to Max.
‘Ailbhe’s been trying to gather intel for days but it’s pretty niche.’ Lindy sighed. ‘What age is Gordon then?’
‘Oh, hang on, never mind, he’s only eleven. He wasn’t even born when the tape leaked so maybe not such a great example. We’re trying to see how to get the kids through it unscathed,’ Ailbhe explained.
‘Tommy and Pam have a kid, don’t they?’ Finn suggested brightly. Lindy was touched that she was entering into the spirit.
‘Yep, Brandon Lee.’
‘And how’s he doing?’
‘Reality star.’ Lindy sighed.
‘Oof.’ Finn grimaced.
‘Look, everything passes eventually. Max’s dad is a laughing stock. Not Max and not you.’ Roe was trying valiantly to put a decent spin on it and Lindy did appreciate the effort. Anything to distract from her spiralling thoughts.
