Page 118 of Such a Good Couple
She was told she needed medication to try and stop her body contracting so that the C-section could be performed. Conor did all the talking with the doctors. She didn’t trouble herself to listen to what he was saying. She didn’t need to, she trusted him. Annie was moved from one room to another. Beneath the strip-lighting, she felt on the precipice, as though different possible lives were unfurling around her. Nothing felt real. Until she had the reassuring weight of her baby in her arms, nothing would feel real.
And then, after a few minutes of curiously painlessrummaging inside her abdomen by a surgeon, a baby emerged.
A perfect curled rosebud of a baby girl called Marni.
A few hours into Marni Sweeney’s life, Conor and Annie sat in the hospital ward in the state of shock and awe that visits all brand new parents on day one.
‘She’s stunningly beautiful, obviously,’ Conor said emphatically.
‘That’s my side of the family.’ Annie nodded eagerly, looking down at the baby slumped on her chest.
Together they watched the baby’s minute movements: the twitching fingers, the subtle pulses in her almost translucent eyelids. Annie couldn’t take her eyes off her daughter.
‘She’s mesmerising. She’s better than TikTok!’ She grinned at Conor, who was flitting around the bed, feverishly snapping pictures and sending them to the group chat. They had the best spot in the room they were sharing with five other new families, over by the windows. At that time of day in the late February afternoon, the shadows of the city were long and darkness would soon win out.
‘The guys have sent a video.’ Conor turned the phone so they could both watch a chaotic few minutes of Clara, Ollie, Fionn and the kids shrieking and jumping around and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Marni.
‘Lucky the twins are already used to sharing a birthday!’ Conor laughed.
Annie lay back, smiling. She was exhausted but she didn’t want to fall asleep and miss Rachel. She’d said she was on her way. Annie was to stay in hospital for five days to recover from her surgery and Rachel was to be the first visitor, though they’d all agreed she would be the only one of their friends who would come to the hospital. Neither Annie nor Conor nor Rachel had articulated it but Annie felt that they all wanted to have a bitof time, just themselves together, to see how their funny little family might feel before they left the sanctuary of the hospital and, no doubt, began to butt up against the prejudices and preconceptions of other people.
‘Annie.’ Rachel appeared at the edge of the blue curtain at the end of Annie’s bed. Annie could see tears sparkling in Rachel’s eyes as she hurried forward to hug her, stopping just short upon realising that Marni was tucked into the crook of Annie’s arm.
‘She’s perfect!’ Rachel exhaled. ‘My God, so tiny! I nearly didn’t spot her in your arms.’
Annie smiled and rubbed her cheek over her daughter’s velvety head for at least the fiftieth time since she’d been born. Annie couldn’t stop touching her and smelling her and petting her; it was already entirely unconscious, as though Annie’s body had suddenly become fluent in a whole other language overnight – the language of motherhood.
Conor stood to give Rachel a hug that was only slightly hesitant, and Annie appreciated the effort. ‘Obviously she was on the early side,’ he explained. ‘But luckily she’s a good weight and the doctors were very happy with how everything’s looking.’ He clapped his hands together. ‘So …’
‘So …’ Rachel dabbed at her eyes.
‘So …’ Annie joined in smiling.
‘Soooo …’ Conor started laughing. ‘I guess we should ask ChatGPT how three people raise a baby together?’
EPILOGUE
Eight months later …
Annie sat in the depths of the huge van that had collected them all from New York’s JFK airport. They were crossing the water to Manhattan and beside Annie, in her car seat, Marni was pumping her legs impatiently.
Annie leaned in to tickle her. ‘Who’s the best baby in the world?’ she asked seriously. On the other side of the car seat, Rachel whipped around, indignant. ‘I thought you saidIwas the best baby in the world!’
In front of them, Conor turned and said solemnly, ‘It’s me. I’m the best baby in the world.’
Annie grinned at them both. It was funny how moments like these, moments of normality, could feel so precious. It felt like all three of them had come through something momentous. The last eight months had been both a blur and the longest of her life.
It had been disorientating, suddenly losing all grip on any sense of certainty as she scrambled to intuit her daughter’s needs. The fact that she’d had Conor and Rachel flailing around with her, just as clueless but also just as committed, had made everything more doable and more fun. With three of them, they were able to get more rest and divvy up jobs like cooking and cleaning. Annie had been nursing Marni for the early months and so either Conor or Rachel would get up to help her change and settle the baby after feeds, which meant Annie got more sleep than the average new mother.
Of course, she didn’t entirely dodge the sleep-deprived de-rangement. One night after Marni had been unconsolable, crying on and off for hours, Annie’s dressing gown sleeve had caught on the door handle for the third time and she had utterly lost it. Rachel was pacing with Marni at the time and watched in utter astonishment as Annie wrenched the dressing gown off her body and started trying to rip the sleeve off.
‘It keepscatching on things,’ she’d snarled, before abandoning the attempt to tear it and simply storming downstairs, shoving it in the kitchen sink and trying to set it on fire.
‘A totally normal-sized reaction,’ Rachel said cautiously from the doorway. She’d followed her down with the baby in her arms. They’d both collapsed into peals of laughter, which had somehow – finally, mercifully – lulled Marni to sleep.
When Annie had related Dressing Gown Gate to Clara she’d just nodded. ‘The shit you do when you’re in the newborn phase and that final little thing tips you over the edge. One day, after I’d dropped a tray of lasagne, I just walked out. Abandoned Ollie and the kids. Left the house. I got in the car and started driving. I was eight months pregnant with Reggie. I was just in a T-shirt and knickers. I had no shoes on. About two minutes down the road, I realised I needed petrol and had to pull into a garage. I wasfuming, storming around the petrol pump, muttering to myself. I could see I was making people nervous but I didn’t care. Since then, I never let the tank go empty.’ She’d shaken her head with a slightly haunted expression. ‘Gotta be ready,’ she’d muttered, then blinked and smiled again and leapt into praising the concept of the parenting triad. ‘This is why you’re so lucky to have three of you!’
Their new system had impressed Clara so much that she was trying to convince Annie to do a book or a podcast with her.
