Page 53 of Such a Good Couple
Maggie: Of course. Dying to meet her.
The door to Clara’s right opened and in came Ollie.
‘Hey.’ She put the phone away.
‘Hey,’ he answered, and took a seat opposite.
They both spent the next two minutes in complete silence, each pretending to be interested in the few plants that were the only adornments in the room. The awkwardness seemed to be building steadily with each second that passed. She was nearly tempted to try and say something, maybe along the lines of ‘This is crazy, do we really need to be here?’
Then the second door opened and Dr Evans greeted them warmly.
‘Ollie, Clara, great to meet you both.’ He stepped aside and directed them through to the office beyond, which was even more sparsely decorated than the waiting room.Probably to deter clients from throwing things in anger, Clara thought, slipping into a grey suede seat with prominent armrests. Ollie settled himself in the identical one beside her. Dr Evans’ seat opposite was larger and more imposing, Clara noted.
‘So.’ He clasped his hands together and sat forward earnestly. He had the kind of face you could forget even while you were still looking at it, and his shirt and trousers were a perfect colour match to the blank office around him.
‘Clara, Ollie has,’ he indicated her husband, ‘updated me on the situation that has prompted this visit, but I wondered, Clara,if you wanted to tell your side of the matter.’
Clara mentally gathered herself. ‘Honestly, no,’ she said simply. ‘Whatever Ollie’s said … it’s probably fairly accurate. I made a mistake when I was drunk. But it wasn’t a malicious mistake. I was hurt at the time. I thought he was having an affair. And the fact is hewaskeeping things from me.’
Beside her, Ollie was already shaking his head, which caught Dr Evans’ attention. ‘Do you disagree, Ollie?’
‘Yeah, I do,’ he said, which took Clara by surprise.
‘On what bit?’ She knew how indignant she sounded, but she couldn’t help it. What part of what she had said was incorrect?
Ollie didn’t look at her, directing his answer to Dr Evans. ‘She’s not talking about our deeper problems. It’s not all about the incident in America. I mean, of course it is, to some extent. I’m hurt and it’s even more hurtful that she would think I would ever cheat on her but in the last few weeks since we’ve been home … just thinking about it all and about us and our marriage – I think it’s made me realise there’s this disconnect between us. And there’s inequities in our marriage about parenting and the day-to-day life stuff.’
‘Oh, is there?’ Her words were spiked with sarcasm, but before she could get going, Dr Evans cut across her.
‘Let’s avoid definitive statements, Ollie,’ he said. ‘In relationships, there’s not necessarily an unimpeachable reality; there’s the experiences of two people.’ He held up two fingers helpfully. ‘These experiences can align or they can diverge. So maybe, Ollie, you could say … Ifeelthere’s inequity.’
Clara twisted towards Ollie, folding her arms. ‘Is the inequity that you get to do a job you love and I have to work the steady paycheque job that I hate to make sure we have enough every month?’
‘Will you stop throwing that in my face? You never told me that you resented your job so much.’
Dr Evans cleared his throat and Ollie quickly re-arranged his words.
‘Ifeelthat you’ve never told me any of this.’
‘What would be the point?’ Clara sighed. ‘Nothing’s going to change. We’ve got a mortgage, we’ve got three kids. This is just the reality I’m living in.’
Ollie shook his head and stared off to the other side of the room.
‘Ollie?’ Dr Evans sat forward. ‘How does hearing Clara say that make you feel?’
‘It makes me feel like I’m right in suspecting that she doesn’t like our life.’
‘That’s such bullshit, Ollie,’ Clara fumed. ‘How can you say that? I love the boys more than anything.’
Ollie turned to her. ‘When you’re with us it’s like you resent parenting. When we go to the park, you listen to your murder podcasts.’
‘Oh my gawd. I haveoneearphone in. I can still interact with the boys while half listening. It’s not a crime to find the park boring. Sometimes I just want a bit of distraction. Some adult voices. Motherhood is fucking lonely.’
‘I’mthere too, you could talk tome.’ He turned back to Dr Evans. ‘We practically lead separate lives already.’
Dr Evans nodded. ‘I’m hearing you. You say “already”, which sounds – and correct me if I’m way off base here – but it sounds, tome, like leading separate lives is something you would like to trial, Ollie?’
At exactly the same time that Clara laughed, she realised that Ollie was nodding.
