Page 71 of Such a Good Couple
Several production assistants came forward and began to lead Clara and the others to loungers and tables dotted around. ‘That’s right,’ Mickey called. ‘Mix up the couples. Everyone pretend to talk amongst yourselves but also if we could have individuals shooting worried or annoyed looks to the other members of the group that would be great. But shake it up, laugh, chat, look suspicious – whatever feels right in the moment.’
Clara found herself beside Darina and Sean, while Ollie was handed a bottle of sun block and put sharing a lounger with Mary. The three cameramen mobilised to capture each group.
Clara smiled at Darina and whispered, ‘This feels way weirder than I was expecting …’
‘No talking, please. The mics are hot and we just want ambient sound and reaction shots here, thanks. Let’s think “candid”, everyone.’
Clara straightened up and moved her hands, pretending to be in conversation with Darina.
‘Great,’ Mickey said after a few minutes, nodding approvingly. ‘Okay, for this shot, Ollie, I want you to apply sun cream to Mary’s back and, Clara, we’ll then cut to you for yourreaction.’
‘Eehh.’ Clara froze. Where were the bloody trust exercises? She didn’t expect the crew to be straight into churning up drama between the couples.
Though, would she watch a show about dreary couples doing trust exercises and talk therapy about respecting boundaries? Probably not.
Ollie’s brow furrowed and he looked over to Clara before announcing, ‘I’m not doing that.’
‘Don’t blame ya, mate!’ Mary’s husband Derek called over. ‘After the three kids, she’s not what she used to be.’
‘Fuuuuuuuck,’ Clara cried, as Mary’s face crumpled.
‘Save it for the cameras, guys.’ Mickey seemed unfazed. ‘Come on now, Ollie, your wife doesn’t mind, do you, Clara?’
Clara hesitated. ‘Well …’ Poor Mary’s husband was clearly such a bastard, the least she could do was sublet Ollie.
‘It’s what you came here to do, guys,’ Jez piped up helpfully.
‘I didn’t want to come here,’ Ollie replied sullenly.
‘Half of us didn’t,’ Rob muttered audibly.
‘Guys, guys,’ Mickey said in a beseeching tone. ‘You’re wasting TV gold here. For the next three weeks we want all airing of grievances to be when the cameras are rolling!’
Ollie sighed and positioned himself behind Mary, and Clara looked away as he began to rub in the sun block.
An hour later, they were back on the stools being filmed as Jez revealed the day’s ‘trust challenge’.Finally, thought Clara.
‘So everyone, it’s day one in Casa Amore No More and we have a very important challenge ahead. Each of you is going on a romantic date with a member of another couple.’
‘What?’ Mary yelped.
‘That’s right, gang. You will all be running the gauntlet of theultimate temptation of any long relationship – someone new, exciting and mysterious.’
Unrest rippled among the partners who were clearly Camp Didn’t Want To Do This Stupid Show. These people, it was becoming clear, were Ollie, Mary, Liz and Rob. Darina and Richie’s motives continued to be hard to ascertain.
Clara fiddled with her hair anxiously as a camera moved closer to her. This was not what she’d been expecting. The producers had not mentioned anything like this. There’d been promises of on-site psychologists and a lot of chat about the production company’s ‘duty of care’ and the cast’s ‘well-being’ during the ‘extremely delicate circumstances’ of the show. She looked around at the others. Sean and Rob were looking particularly sceptical, no doubt wondering whothey’dbe going on dates with.
Jez continued. ‘For the next hour, our couples will be, for all intents and purposes, single and ready to mingle. Anyone can ask anyone out and whoever’s left over without a date will be paired off. Sean, Rob, we’ve procured some local gays for you both.’ He turned back to camera. ‘Okay! Let’s find out if our couples find greener pastures with someone else’s husband or wife!’
Everyone slid off their stools and were herded into the lounge area where waitstaff were serving colourful, sparkling cocktails. Clara, now in a slightlyfuck itmood, took two and retreated to a white leather couch. Ollie was talking to Mary on the other side of the room. No doubt complaining about being there. The cameramen roamed about, capturing the interactions. Rob and Sean were in a heated exchange, the words ‘local gays?’ rising above the din in the room.
Paul came over and took a seat beside her. He was about her age and, judging by his torso, was a devotee of some kind of hardcore, no doubt boring, exercise routine.
He caught her looking and grinned: ‘Hyrox,’ he said proudly. ‘Eight kilometres of running combined with eight functional workout stations.’
‘Wow.’ Clara pretended to be impressed.
‘Yeah, it’s pretty intense.’ He nodded, then took a gulp from his glass. ‘So. It’s Clara, right?’
