Page 84 of Such a Good Couple
But she cared. She really cared.
‘How’re you feeling about tonight’s “trust exercise”?’ Ollie casually picked up Tom, who’d paddled over, and threw him over his shoulder into the water.
‘Me next!’ screamed Josh, swimming down to their end of the pool. Ollie obliged, chucking him after his brother.
Clara rubbed under her eyes, trying to stop her mascara running. ‘I guess I’m wondering if they’ll man up and actually give us something interesting to do.’
The previous trust exercises had been largely tame. Lead each other blindfolded around the island for the day, and such. Though that particular one had really soured when Paul left Liz standing on the terrace of the local taverna after becoming distracted by Darina in a white and gold bikini across the road leading Richie. The producers had loved it but Paul abandoning his wife definitely didn’t go over well with the viewers. The audience had given the majority of that night’s votes to Clara and Ollie who, in an attempt to make things more interesting, had both worn blindfolds and generally stumbled around the place causing chaos and having quite a lot of fun doing it.
Ollie stretched out to float on his back, only for Reggie to leap from Clara’s back onto his stomach. ‘Waaah.’ Ollie leapt up, winded but unperturbed. He hoisted Reggie onto his shoulders and started to bounce up and down. ‘With the finale tomorrow, I’m sure they’re going to have to up the ante.’
Jez Fuller stood opposite the couples on the other side of the pool. It was just after 7 p.m. and behind him the white walls of Casa Amore No More had a rose gold glow, reflecting the spectacular sunset taking place. Clara was wearing a purple sundress patterned with tigers. Ollie, as instructed by the cast coordinator, was shirtless, wearing a sarong, as were all the other men – the sarongs had been distributed just before dinner. In front of each man was a cinder block and heavy-duty scissors. In Clara’s hands was the length of rope each woman had been given on arrival.
‘Are they giving us the option to drown the men?’ shemuttered in Ollie’s direction.
‘Feel free to do it,’ Ollie replied, staring straight ahead. ‘Put me out of my misery. I’m not a sarong guy; they do nothing for my calves.’
‘Your calves are looking well,’ Clara replied, trying for flirty.
‘Clara, Ollie. Can you guys say all that again on camera when we’re rolling?’ the director called.
Clara and Ollie rolled their eyes at each other and, again, Clara felt the funny little swoop of nerves.
He likes me. Doesn’t he?
The slightly preposterous thought surprised and then amused her.
Of course he likes me, we’ve been together for two decades.
But she knew it wasn’t a given anymore. It hadn’t been ever since that stupid day in Provincetown and really, if she was honest, maybe before that too.
‘Rolling,’ shouted the first assistant director.
‘Tonight,’ Jez held the camera’s gaze and spoke with a breathless intensity, ‘on the final night of this incredible journey, we are inviting our couples to participate in our most intense test of trust yet. Now, once and for all, you the viewer can judge who deserves to win freedom from the shackles of a dreary, unhappy marriage.Or,’ he paused to dial up the drama, ‘who will choose each other.’ At these words, cameras on all sides mobilised and began to circle Clara, Ollie and the rest of the cast. It felt a bit like being devoured.
‘Cut!’ the director yelled. ‘Playback,’ he demanded, and then hunched forward in his headphones to watch the monitor. Apparently satisfied with whatever he saw there, he leaned back and addressed the waiting crew. ‘Reset, guys.’ Then he stood and approached the contestants.
‘Guys, you all look great. Mary,’ he swivelled towards her pulling on her sleeve, ‘lose this little shrug cardigan thing,luv. It’s not 2002. You’re only thirty-something – we want the viewers to believe Derek could still want you.’
‘Prick,’ Ollie muttered, and Clara spotted him shake his head at Mary in commiseration. Clara did not love this but also this was Ollie. This was why she liked him, wasn’t it? He was a good one. She was fairly certain that Ollie didn’t fancy Mary. Shediddress like someone arriving on Ellis Island in the 1800s.She’s so dreary,Clara thought uncharitably.Oh God, why am I being such a mean bitch?
Then it hit her:I am jealous.
The director was moving along the line, adjusting the men. ‘Let’s show a little more leg.’ He fussed with Richie’s sarong. ‘Right, you two,’ he pointed at Clara and Ollie, ‘let’s try and work in that interaction again on camera. The audience is loving your natural banter.’
‘Yes, so natural,’ Ollie deadpanned.
The director slid back to his seat and checked in with the lighting and sound guys, then called action.
Jez stood before them and looked at each couple in turn. ‘Tonight, these men are going to place their ultimate trust in their wives. And husbands,’ he hastily added to Rob and Sean. ‘Ladies and Rob, you are probably wondering about the ropes you’ve been given. Gents, you, no doubt, are feeling growing concern about the cinder blocks in front of you.’ He paused here and Clara could already imagine the ridiculous music they would use to up the tension. Jez then looked pointedly at her and Ollie and they repeated what they’d said to each other a few minutes earlier.
‘Silence!’ Jez thundered, and Clara suppressed a giggle.
‘Okay, wives, you are to kneel down in front of your husbands.’ He’d dispensed with acknowledging Rob, Clara noted. She tugged at her dress, then got to her knees in front of Ollie. It was a troubling sensation to be doing something that shesuspected would eventually no doubt be meme’d to within an inch of its life and quite possibly haunt her to her grave.
Think of the money. Or the divorce if Ollie chose that.She winced both at the hard marble slabs under her bare knees and the thought that, after everything, maybe Ollie was leaning towards divorce.
‘Clara, Liz, Darina, Rob and Mary, now tie one end of the rope around the genitals of your spouse.’
