Page 110 of How to Break My Heart
He shakes his head with his mouth pressed firmly. “The truth is, her heart was weak, and it was just a matter of time.”
I nod silently. My eyes wander back to Seraphina, admiring her beauty even in her eternal sleep. Then, I think about the funeral and all the moments when Billie will need someone to lean on. She’ll also need some time off, so I mentally try to plan how I’ll juggle it all, only to remember what happened tonight with Aston.
It all becomes too much, and just like in the car, another tear finally falls.
“Hey,” Marco calls softly, placing his hands on my arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
My lips begin to quiver, wondering how the most genuine man is here comforting me, yet the one my heart has so desperately fallen for is with his family planning his future without me in it.
A future he chose to hide from me.
“It’s just too much,” I sob, trying to control my raging emotions. “Maddy is getting married tomorrow, and I’m supposed to be there for her, but Billie needs me. I can’t be everywhere.”
Marco embraces me, and no matter how hard I try, it’s not the same.
It only shows how strong my feelings are for Aston.
How I’ve fallen so head over heels in love with him without even really knowing.
“There’s no way you can prepare yourself for something like this. It’s what I tell my patients, and it is that thing we call life. It comes, and it goes. And sometimes, it’s out of our control. Allwe can do is take it one day at a time.” Marco gazes at me softly. “Do you think you can do that for me?”
Quietly, I nod.
My fingers fumble nervously before I say, “I’m sorry, Marco, about everything that happened between us.”
He remains silent, leaning down and placing his notebook back into his doctor’s bag. “As I said earlier, Eva. Some things are out of our control.”
“You’re too nice to me. I don’t deserve it.”
“Take care of yourself. I’m a big boy, Eva. It’s not the first time things haven’t gone the way I wanted them to,” he says in a low voice, only to tilt his head. “I heard a car outside. It’s most likely Morton, the funeral director.”
I leave the room to open the front door. Morton arrives with his colleague to take Seraphina away at the same time as Billie’s family arrives.
It all becomes a blur.
The loud sobs Billie expels when Seraphina’s body is covered and carried out on a stretcher… I hold on to her for dear life, wishing to God someone could take her grief away. I’m unable to stop my own emotions, as a soreness builds in my throat and lungs from the heavy tears I shed with my friend.
In the late-night hours, people come by to pay their respects.
Instead of sleeping, we make cups of coffee and stay awake as Billie’s family tells fond stories of Seraphina. It’s so lovely that everyone remembers the good times. Just like Marco said, we can only take it one day at a time, and today has been the hardest.
Outside, the sun rises, and the promise of a new day greets us. I sit in the living room with Billie all night as she shows me albums of her childhood. Seraphina was truly Billie’s best friend.
Billie gently touches the photograph of herself dressed in a flower girl dress for her auntie’s wedding. She sighs heavilybefore she asks, “You think Maddy will understand if I don’t come today?”
“Of course she will understand, Billie,” I assure her. “Please don’t worry about the wedding.”
“Can you maybe not say anything unless she notices?” Billie pleads with hopeful eyes. “I don’t want to ruin her day.”
“I promise I won’t mention anything, okay?”
Billie’s Auntie June enters the living room with a fresh pot of coffee. Like us, she looks exhausted and trying to hold it together. I gently take the coffee cup from her but then glance at the clock on the wall.
“Go on, I’ll be fine,” Billie insists, giving me a little push. “You need to get home and get ready. The wedding’s only a few hours away.”
I sigh, leaning down to kiss her. “All right, but I’ll check in before the ceremony, okay?”
She smiles. “I know you will. Now go.”
