Page 49 of A Kiss From Death
As if reading my mind, he states, “You can’t stick anything on my mommy because she’s dead. Same with Papa.”
Well,fuckme. That was honestly the last thing I had on my mind when conjuring up his evil parents in my head. And of course, in typical Nyxi fashion, I’ve corrupted this poor parentless child in seconds.Go me!
Grabbing his hands, I look at him with soft eyes and try to do some damage control. “I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. I also don’t have any parents, so I know how hard that can be.” His eyes grow a little bigger at my admission. “You know what I think, though?” He nods, intently waiting to hear what I have to say. “I think that sometimes, the strongest people are chosen to receive the greatest challenges in life, like you and me. It’s our superpower because we are tough enough to make it through the challenge when others would crumble. We haven’t crumbled, though, have we?” I ask him. He slowly shakes his head, and a small smile creeps back onto his face.
“How do you make sure you don’tcrumble?” he asks me.
Smiling back at him, I’m brought back to a recent conversation I had with Winston, when I asked the same thing. “Someone else who has our same superpower once told me we must seek out happy pangs, and life will be okay. Do you know what a happy pang is?” I question him. He slowly shakes his head again, looking confused as ever.
I reach out, tapping my finger over his heart softly. “It’s when it feels fuzzy and warm right here. When something makes you happy, even if it’s just for a brief moment. If you collect all those happy pangs in your heart, then you won’t ever crumble. I promise.”
His face lights up, and he dives forward, pulling me into a tight hug that makes every inch of my body scream, but I happily squeeze him back just as hard. “I’m happy we share the same superpower,” he whispers into my ear.
I still need to assess my body for fatal injuries, and I grunt when Hudson pulls away. He winces, and then his eyes light up with an idea. “I used to collect flowers for Mommy every time she was sick. She would always smile at me and tell me they healed her, and it would make my heart feel warm and fuzzy.”
He turns on his heels, skipping away with a smile on his face while looking back over his shoulder at me. “I want to feel a happy pang.” His smile is the most precious thing I’ve ever witnessed, and I hope it never leaves his face again. I capture this raw, honest moment to live on endlessly, creating an untouched capsule within my head.
Just as I’m about to tell him there’s no need to pick flowers for me, his tiny body disintegrates to nothing right before my eyes. Smoky acid devours him whole, only to leave behind the memory he once was. A parentless child, sent to see his family too soon. One moment, he was skipping happily, and the next, gone. The giant smile on his face will be permanently ingrained in my memory, the same as how permanent his death is. Another name onmy list, right next to Theo’s. All that’s left is a pile of dust where his happy, healthy body was just skipping, seeking a happy pang…and Iscream.
I’m hyperventilating as a loud sob rips from my throat, but a firm hand slaps over my mouth from behind, and my body is dragged backwards. I thrash in their hold, but my body is so tired, my mind so weak, it’s useless.
“Shh, it’s me, Vagrant. I’ve got you,” Aeron whispers into my ear as he lifts my body effortlessly to cradle me in his arms. I nuzzle my head into his chest as my body shakes uncontrollably, and he slowly drags his hand over my hair in a soothing manner. I don’t know where he’s taking me, and at this point, I don’t care. I’m the reason Hudson is dead. He wanted to help me. He wanted to feel a happy pang, and instead, he ended up dead.
I didn’t see or hear the Necroshriek approaching because I was too busy trying to keep my lungs working while attempting to cheer up Hudson. I wanted him to feel special in a world turned against him, but instead, I got him killed. I feel like I’m having a seizure, my body flailing as I lose total control of my sanity. I see Hudson’s crooked smile on repeat in my head, and then he vanishes before my eyes. Then, I see Theo’s lifeless, torn up body in our house, and it’s an endless cycle back and forth that hurts too much. I just want it to stop, the sadness, the guilt, all of it.
“Make it stop! Make it stop!” I chant like a broken record into Aeron’s chest. I fist his shirt, all the pain once in my body blown away with the wind. Now, the only thing that remains hurt and aching is my heart.
“I need you to calm down, Nyxi.” I let out another loud sob. “Please, I’m begging you. I’m going to get us to safety, but I need you to try and stay quiet for me. Can you do that, sweetheart?” Aeron pleads.
I’m numb at this point. My brain and heart are no longer working organs inside me. Slowly, I calm my breathing and nodthe smallest amount into his chest. “That’s it. You’re doing so well. We’re almost there. Just stay calm for me.”
He walks with me tightly in his arms for what seems like hours, but it was probably only a couple minutes. The air turns musty, and the sounds of our breathing echo. My body is slowly lowered to the ground, and I open my eyes. We are in the cave I was searching for. By the looks of it, he has been camped out here since the start. He has a small fire going that casts shadows on the jagged cave’s walls. Looking behind me, the cave continues deep into the pitch black.
“Are you hurt?” Aeron drops into a crouch, his hands on both sides of my face, looking me over. I lick my chapped lips but say nothing, staring with lifeless eyes back at him. He drags his hands down my body, feeling around for injuries. Each time he finds one, I wince but say nothing. “You have cuts everywhere, and your arm is pouring blood. What kind of trouble did you get yourself into?” He stares at me, waiting for an answer, and I think he would wait all night.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. He nods, encouraging me to try again. I take a deep breath. “I…” My lungs burn, and I break out into a coughing fit. Aeron crawls over and slowly rubs up and down my back to soothe me.
Collecting myself, I try again. “I climbed one of the trees above the cliff to scope things out. I saw the cave at the bottom of the cliff and decided it would be my best chance at survival. I was making my way here when I ran into a little trouble.”
He stiffens next to me. “What kind of trouble?”
I take a deep breath. “Tank and Jade snuck up from behind me, and that’s how I ended up with a spear in my arm. I ripped it out and took off through the trees to the cliff’s edge, but that’s where I ran into even more trouble. I accidentally screamed when I ripped out the arrow, and I caught the attention of a Necroshriek. It dropped down right in front of me at the cliff’s edge.I tried to draw its attention to Jade and Tank behind me, which worked for a second as I ran for the cliff’s edge, but it heard me. Then I tripped over a rock, and, um…”
“Out with it,” Aeron gently pushes.
“I fell and sort of tumbled all the way over the cliff’s edge. When I landed, it knocked me out. When I woke, Hudson was standing over me and the Necroshriek was gone. You saw what happened next.” A small sob escapes my throat. “He was going to pick flowers for me, to make me feel better. He isdeadbecause of me.”
Aeron leans into me, drawing me into his chest again. “It’s not your fault. He’s a child who wouldn’t have been able to protect himself, let alone compete in the Crucible. This is no place for a little boy. It was bound to happen, and sadly, this was probably the most peaceful death he could have been dealt. He was just lucky to have you by his side until the very end.”
I quietly cry into Aeron’s shirt as he rubs my back, attempting to soothe me. He doesn’t know how broken I am, though. The pieces of my heart are warped forever and will never fit back together the same way again.
He pulls away from me, looking into my eyes. “I’m going to take care of you now. Can you let me do that for you?” he asks, and I nod in agreement. He rips the bottom part of his shirt off, wrapping it tightly around my oozing arm to stop the bleeding. It hurts like hell as I see the once-white fabric turn a dark crimson. “There; that should at least make sure you don’t bleed to death. As for the cuts, there’s nothing I can really do. By some miracle, it doesn’t feel like you had any broken bones. Maybe a few badly bruised ribs and a concussion, but it seems the mud absorbed most of the impact when you hit the ground. You’re lucky you didn’t snap your neck on the way down.”
I let out a sad laugh. I don’t feel lucky. I think my neck snapping would have been a mercy at this point. The Empress’ wicked voice snaps me out of my morbid thoughts.
“One down, one to go.” Her voice is enhanced, traveling over the Bubble’s playing field. She’s taunting us, reminding us that she’s watching. It’s sickening, and my stomach threatens to spill at the thought of her having zero emotion announcing the death of an innocent little boy.
I turn to Aeron. “I’m so tired.” It’s barely a whisper, but he sees the exhaustion written across my face. I need to rest my mind, let it escape to that happy place I can only visit while asleep. A place where Theo is laughing by my side, where a little boy gets to experience all the happy pangs his heart desires, with the biggest toothless smile on his face. I need that place right now, so I lean back, settling my head into Aeron’s soft lap and dozing off into a reality I’ll never experience again.
