Page 124 of The Highlander Who Loved Me
What in blazes had he expected? Had he been fool enough to believe she’d fall into his arms and never want to leave? He’d offered her little more than passion. Sweet as it was, she deserved more.
More than he could give.
And she knew it.
Hellfire and damnation, he’d spent so many years chasing precious heirlooms—so much of his life protecting Scotland’s treasures. And now, the rarest treasure he’d ever encountered was about to slip through his fingers. And there didn’t seem to be a damned thing he could do about it.
He’d never find the words to convince her to stay. From the moment she’d laid eyes on him that evening, his presence had seemed to knock her off-kilter. She’d regarded him with a coolness she didn’t attempt to hide. An icy defense infused her words. Somehow, he’d hurt her. Damned if he knew how.
He never should’ve let her go. He should’ve done whatever it took to keep Johanna and her niece in the Highlands. In centuries past, he might’ve claimed her, as MacMasters men of old had claimed their brides.
But those days were long past. And Johanna would never abide beingclaimed.Had she been born five centuries earlier, she still would’ve given some MacMasters ancestor the challenge of his life. The lass possessed a spirit that would never be cowed.
God, how he needed her. He craved that spark in her eyes, the delight in her smile when something struck her fancy. He savored the velvet whisper of her voice when she spoke his name in passion, and the sullen little scowl she got on her pretty face when he vexed her. He wanted her at her best and her worst, when joy filled her heart and sorrow weighted her soul. How could he face a lifetime of days and nights knowing that Johanna was an ocean away?
She wouldn’t be alone for long. Soon enough, she’d attract a man. A civilized banker or some milksop like that—a man who’d offer her a life of comfort, a stable home for the bairn, and someday, wee ones of her own to cherish. He’d be a good enough husband. Johanna would not settle for anything but a good man.
But whoever he was, the lucky bastard would not—could not—love her as Connor had.
Bollocks, he couldn’t go on like this. He couldnae stand here staring at the stars, going mad with longing for a woman who wanted him as much as he wanted her. Even if she didn’t know it yet.
In his mind’s eye, he conjured her image. She’d studied his face, searching for something. Something he hadn’t offered. Something she fiercely wanted, given the sheen of moisture in her gorgeous blue eyes.
I love her. Now. ’Til the end of time.
Couldn’t she see that he loved her? Couldn’t she taste it in his kiss and read it in his touch?
Bluidy idiot!He cursed himself for a dolt.
He loved her. For better and for worse. Until the moment he drew his last earthly breath. And beyond.
But like a damn fool, he’d never told her. God knew he’d shown her passion. He’d loved her with his body. But he’d never uttered the words.
He’d never taken that ultimate risk with the rusty thing in his chest he called a heart.
He loved Johanna. He’d cherish her and protect her and devote himself to her. And it was bluidy high time she knew it.
Chapter Forty-Two
Serena and Laurel’s happy conversation dangled in mid-sentence as Johanna approached the table. Serena’s mouth thinned. Keeping her gaze fixed on Johanna, she reached for her water glass.
“I take it my brother told ye what was on his mind.” Serena sipped from the crystal goblet.
“Yes. I presume you knew what he planned.”
“I’d hoped ye’d be receptive. I’ve seen the way ye look at him… I deduced incorrectly.”
“Deduced incorrectly?” Johanna selected a chair across from Serena. “My heart is not a puzzle to be solved.”
Serena tapped a fingertip against the vessel. “I am sorry, Johanna. I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. But it’s best that ye know what’s on my brother’s mind.”
“In any case, I will still be pleased to help you get your bearings in Philadelphia. I trust your story was true.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to ye.” The patter of Serena’s finger against the crystal sped up. “After all, I did tell ye he would be here.”
“Indeed.” Johanna wished she could magically transport herself to some other place—any other place. Laurel’s focus hadn’t left her since she’d rejoined them. Did the child have any idea what had occurred? Later, Johanna would reassure the child that she’d never leave her again.
Serena squeezed Laurel’s hand. “Let’s order something good to eat, shall we? My brother has taken care of the arrangements.”
