Page 110 of House of Pain
But right before the door shut, Alecto’s eyes met Blaze’s, and there was nothing but emptiness in them.
He wasn’t sure whether she saw him, or maybe it was just a coincidence she glanced his way, and her eyes landed on him in the darkness.
As Blaze made his way back to the ballroom, his stomach felt like a bag of rocks.
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Alecto didn’t cry. Not anymore.
She had long lost all ability to feel sorry for herself.
It was only pain and disgust. Shame mixed with hatred that she needed to stop.
Her skin was red from all the scrubbing, but Alecto’s hands didn’t stop as she continued making circles with the sponge, the scalding shower beating at her back.
This pain was better than the other pain.
Finally, when she couldn’t feel anything else other than burning on her skin, she managed to get out of the shower and wrap a towel around herself before returning to her room.
Unlike her bedroom at Venefica, her bedroom in her family home was light and airy, matching the interior of the rest of the estate with light wood panels stretching over the ceiling, white windows opening to the ocean.
It was the same as her mother had designed it when Alecto was a little girl. Alecto hadn’t bothered updating it, even as her mother left her behind, even as she aged and grew into the woman she was today.
Alecto hated the decor. She hated the white furniture and light curtains.
But it was all right because she wanted to hate her bedroom.
It was all just as she wanted it to be. Never a comfortable moment, so she would never forget.
Slowly, she picked up the black lace dress she wore before at the auction and shoved it into the bin, together with the rest of her ensemble.
From her closet, she picked out black straight pants with a skintight turtleneck and slowly dressed. Then she grabbed her black high-heeled boots from the floor.
When she glanced at herself in the mirror, a stranger was looking at her. Her eyes were rimmed with red, making the dark circles more prominent.
It took her a few long moments to turn her eyes away from the sight in the mirror. She could have put concealer on, the whole layer of foundation that would make her flawless.
But there was this weird urge to wear her pain openly. Because of it, Alecto grabbed her cherry lipstick, smearing it over her dry lips with a trembling hand.
Instead of going back to the ballroom, where the party was now in full swing, with laughter and cheerful chatter coming all the way to the front of the house, Alecto turned towards the kitchen.
She grabbed a coat hanging on a hook by the door leading outside, and then went into the pantry, shoving the packs of cereal to the side and pushing the wooden panel behind to reveal a hole in the wall.
Alecto fished out an old, crumpled pack of cigarettes. To her relief, there were still eight cigarettes left, just like the last time, so she shoved them in the pocket of the coat and headed outside to the chilly night.
The back garden was dark, only the dim light orbs illuminating the white gravel path around the house.
Alecto reached the end of the estate, coming right to the edge of the cliff. The ocean was dark, almost black, and the waves seemed to be angry today as they crashed into the shore.
Alecto lowered herself over the edge, letting her legs dangle, and only then did she let out a long breath.
For a moment, she just sat there, staring at the ocean, drinking in the familiar smell of salt and water. It used to be a smell that carried so many good memories. It used to be a smell that made her heart sing with happiness.
Now, it was a smell that tugged at the corners of her heart, ruthlessly bringing up memories Alecto wanted buried deep inside.
She fished the pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, pushing one between her lips. Then, she reached in her pocket for the lighter, but it wasn’t there.
She closed her eyes, trying to calm the sudden urge to snap at or break something.
