Page 147 of Breaking Point
Truth be told, I stopped going after the first session.
All it took was the therapist to push too hard too fast, and I ran. I haven’t stopped going to my AA meetings, though, which is how I know that my family is a trigger for those big emotions that drive me to drink. If I had to face my mom today, I’d be drunk by the time the sun set, and I can’t do that to not only myself but my team and the animals.Theyneed me today.
Propping my head on my fist, I note the slight tremor still wracking Bambi’s body. “I know it’s horrible,” I confess for the first time out loud to a dog that can’t hear my secrets. “But the more time goes on, the harder it feels to face them. What if they look at me and all they see is what I took from them?”
Bambi just blinks back at me, but her eyes haven’t left my lips. When I stop talking, she reaches out and licks my nose, making a boisterous laugh rumble from my chest. “God damn, you are smart, aren’t you?”
Her eyes are back on my lips.
Peering over my shoulder, I find the barn deserted, the animals long gone and the event in full swing outside. Taking my chance, I move forward a little bit, lowering my voice as I whisper, “I’m excited for you to meet someone. I think you’re going to love her.”
I can’t help but smile. “She’s radiant, Bambi. I have no doubt you’ll spot her in the crowd. She has this pull that can’t be ignored, and you’ll love her smile.” I scratch her ear, one corner of her lip lifting as I hit a spot. “She’s beautiful, inside and out, and I’m going to do everything in my power to get her to feel a fraction of what I feel for her.”
Bambi gives my hand a lick, asking for more scratches.
“Don’t be surprised if you feel my anxiety though. That woman makes me nervous like a criminal on the run. I’ve never had my heart beat as fast as it does when I’m next to her.” Laughing, I flop onto my back, throwing my arm over my head. “I’m royally fucked, Bambi.”
Turning my head to the side, I whisper, “She’s like a wildfire. A burning blaze that I have no plans of extinguishing. I don’t care if I get burnt, so long as I can be near her.”
As Bambi finally comes out of her corner, licking my face with a wagging tail and wiggling body, I sit up, smiling at my happy girl. “There you are, gorgeous. Ready to try and find a family who deserves your love?”
Her head tilts, making me smirk.
Signingsitandgood girlonce she does so, I quickly pull the vest from the bag I prepared for her and slide her body into it, hoping the vest will give her some comfort as I take her out into the chaos. I hand over her Lamb Chop too and she takes it, her tail wagging as I clip on her bright pink lead.
Signinggood girlone last time, I ruffle her ears before mumbling under my breath, “Let’s go find my girl, Bambi.”
Chapter 38
Bella
MOM
don’t bring back any dogs, no matter how cute they are
you have enough on your plate
BELLA
Mom, I told you I’m not adopting a dog, just supporting Grayson and the charity
MOM
you will take one look at them and want to get them all
BELLA
so?
MOM
so don’t
and say hi to Grayson for me
also tell him that it was the husband
BELLA
