Page 7 of Breaking Point
My heart plummets. I don’t think it’s even within my body anymore because all I hear is the roar of blood in my ears.
I cannot lose this team. This team is all I have left.
“Until you can respect this team like you once did, you are no longer team captain.”
The sudden panic that entered my body vanishes within the blink of an eye.
I wait to feel it, to feel the sadness over losing the title I strived toward for years. The title I took to heart and wore on my sleeve with pride. Yet nothing happens.
My heartbeat returns to a steady pace, my shoulders sag, and I feel…nothing.
I’m utterly empty.
Clearing my throat, I stand. “Is that all, sir?”
Coach looks shell-shocked for a moment before he glowers. “You cannot let this ruin you, Crawford. Do not let this be the thing that destroys you, that takes so much?—”
“I’ve already lost everything of value.”
My voice is cold, lacking the emotions I know are buried deep within me, lacking the ring of the lie I know that statement is, because didn’t my body just feel panic for the first time in a year? Didn’t I just realize I do have something of value left in my shit life?
Standing in the silence that stretches between us, I wait for that part of me to come back, the part that cares about my life. But like the last year, it doesn’t show its face again.
Coach Anderson assesses me, his shoulders slumping as something akin to pity flashes through his eyes. “No, son,” he says softly. “No, you have not.”
Despite not feeling anything, Coach’s words won’t stop ringing through my mind.
It’s a broken record at this point. Because he’s right, I do have more to lose, it just doesn’t feel like I have anything left to give.
The second I unlock my front door, I stop dead in my tracks at the sight of Kieran lounging on my sofa, eating my food.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I grumble, yet my words hold no bite.
“Someone has to look after you.”
“Oh, was that what you were doing last night when you were pouring tequila down my throat?”
Kieran’s eyebrows quirk. “You asked for that. You know I’m not going to coddle you. If you want to burn your life to the ground, I’ll be beside you while you do it, but I’ll also be there to help you when you want to repair it.”
Kieran flinches as I dump my sports bag a little too hard onthe kitchen floor. My frown only grows as he pauses the show he’s watching and turns to me.
“Gilmore Girls…again?”
He shrugs. “What? The weather outside is perfect for it.”
“It’s always perfect weather forGilmore Girls,” I mutter under my breath.
I’ll never admit this to him since he’d never let it go, but I do secretly love the show. I just don’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning the argument that shows targeted toward women are far superior. Every year he forces me to watch it in the fall and I pretend he’s twisting my arm, but I don’t mind it. It’s comforting.
Colorado winter, it seems, is coming early this year, and with the plunging temperatures outside, he’s right, it is the perfect weather to watch it.
“Stop changing the subject. What did Coach say?”
I advert my gaze, making myself a protein shake as an excuse, and shrug. “The same speech he’s been giving me for months.”
Kieran’s quiet for a moment. Lifting my head, I note his quizzical gaze and the way he watches me.
“Why are you lying to me?”
