Page 108 of Hoax and Kisses
The thick forest surrounding us throughout the hike clears, leaving us with a breathtaking view of Pine Falls.
I swallow, my eyes stinging from the gusts of wind and the desperate pang growing deep inside me.
It’s so obvious to me now. I exhale sharply, angry with myself, drinking in the panorama in front of me.
It’s so obvious. The words pound in my head.
And still, it sneaks up on meso fast, as I survey the town from here. It’s so small and so peaceful, shrouded in pines and maple trees, tucked away on the mountainside like a beating heart in a sheltering embrace.
This is the place I want to call home.
I’ve never called anywhere home.
That knowledge sits on my chest, heavier than a rock at the bottom of the ocean.
What am I supposed to do now? Give up what I’ve spent years working so hard for, sacrificing love, friendships, hobbies, and pieces of myself along the way? Slam the door in my dad’sface and turn my back on him, knowing there’s a good chance he’ll cut me out of his life?
I take a deep breath, the fresh scent of pine and earth filling my lungs and easing my clouded mind. “The University of British Columbia offers some interesting programs,” I say, my tone low.
Matt’s gaze is riveted on me. Intrigued, scared, wishful. “Yeah?”
Impatient too, by the sound of his voice.
“There’s a pediatric nursing graduate course. Half online, half in residence in the hospital of the student’s choosing.”
The hum vibrating under my skin during the three years I spent studying pediatric nursing has never completely gone away. That rush of fulfillment that welled up inside me every day because I knew I could make a difference in someone’s life.
It was all I wanted. Until my father decided otherwise.
But with each day spent in Pine Falls, that humming has been singing louder than ever. I feel it everywhere. Awakening and brewing in places I long ago sealed shut.
Matt’s throat works hard, his gaze fixed on Pine Falls beneath us. “Online, huh?”
“Yep.” I force my attention to the town too.
“That’s… that’s good.” In my periphery, he nods. He throws a glance my way, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. “If that’s what you wanna do, I support you. Always.”
Finally, I peel my eyes off the view and take him in. The wayward strands of hair floating around his face, the sweat that coats his skin shimmering in the daylight, that easy, lopsided smile that draws me in every time.
But it’s his eyes that make my knees do a shaky little dance. The way he’s watching me like I just gave him the world. Like I belong to him and nobody else.
My chest warms with tingling sparks.
I like it. I like it a lot.
Matt takes a step closer, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger. “Hypothetically,” he whispers. His face softens and my heart follows. “How hypothetical is all of this?”
My eyes flutter shut. “I don’t know. I—I’m thinking. I’ve been doing a lot of that. My head is a mess, Matt. I’ve never felt pulled in two directions like this before.”
Like a tug-of-war between my heart and my mind.
“We’ll talk tonight.” He scans our surroundings, taking in the kids playing on rocks and running, having sword fights with sticks they’ve found along the rail. “When it’s just the two of us.”
I raise an eyebrow. “The two of us?”
“It’s Saturday night. Daph is at a friend’s house for her weekly sleepover. I thought maybe you could spend the night at my—”
“Yes.”
