Page 115 of Hoax and Kisses
“Everybody has baggage, Zoé,” he says, barely getting the words out. “It’s calledliving. You think I don’t have my own? Of course I do. Doesn’t mean you have to shut yourself off from the personbeggingto help shoulder the load.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” I breathe out.
“Let me show you.” He cups my face with desperate fingers, forcing me to look at him. “Let me be here for you.Please.”
I swallow, restlessness growing inside me. I don’t know how to do that. I want to scream, because the only person who’s been here for me my entire life isme. I don’t know how to let anyone else do that.
I don’t know what it means. I don’t know where to start. I don’t—
I don’t know.
“Zoé, hey.” Matt grasps my fists, loosening my fingers. “Breathe. Come here.”
He wraps one arm around my waist and tugs me to him, his front flush with my back.
“You’re okay,” he murmurs, brushing my hair in a way that soothes my very soul. Without releasing me, he draws the covers over us, tucking us away from the rest of the world, and curls around me until all of him is pressed against all of me.
“I’m terrified I’ll lose everything,” I confess into the crook of his arm. The life I’ve built, my career, my dad.Him. I don’t know how to articulate all of it without having a full meltdown.
His hold on me tightens. “I get it. You’re scared. But I’m here, and that will never change.” For a moment, he’s silent. Just asI consider breaking the tension, he speaks again. “Do you know when people say ‘If you have no fans, it means I’m dead’?”
“Yeah?”
“Same sentiment applies here.” He kisses the slope of my neck. “If you’ve lost everything, it means I’m dead.”
I melt further into his embrace. The words settle my heart and clear my mind. Each sweep of his thumb across my belly quiets my frazzled nerves a little more.
We stay silent like this for minutes and then maybe hours. I lose count. His breathing slows and grows deeper, steadier.
When I’m certain he’s asleep, I shift and face him, softly brushing the tip of my finger over the lines of his cheekbone. The ridge of his nose, the contour of his mouth, the sharp edges of his jaw.
Bravery overtakes me. Or maybe waiting until he’s asleep makes me a coward. Either way, I lick my lips and whisper, “I’ve been alone for so long. It seems impossible sometimes to picture a life where I’m not. Where I’m happy. Where I do what I love. Where I can truly be myself. The price always seemed too high to pay.” I press a featherlight kiss on his lips. “It isn’t with you. Losing you would be so much worse.”
His breath hitches, and for a second, I hold mine, heart pounding in my ribcage. One, two, three seconds pass. The rise and fall of his chest steadies.
With a relieved sigh, I nuzzle into him and close my eyes.
But then he presses his mouth against my forehead.
“You’re not alone anymore, beautiful. I’m your support system now.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
ZOEY
Convincing, charming, engaging, striking deals. All the effort I’ve put into the past three weeks boils down to this. The assembly vote.
Don’t forget all the kissing and fucking too.
I flush hard as I tuck a cream knit sweater into a black suede miniskirt, peering at the closed bathroom door where Matt is showering.
Daphne called to ask Matt if she could go to the botanical garden with her friend today. It took approximately half a second for him to agree and organize plans to pick her up tonight instead of this morning. Then the man was back between my legs just in time for breakfast.
By noon, he was actually starving for real food, so we took a break to visit Rosie at the café and check in on the town before tonight’s vote. I left feeling more optimistic than I have since I arrived, though I have a suspicion it has a lot to do with the tall, long-haired guy who never let go of my hand as we strolled through town.
The afternoon was filled with activities similar to those of our morning. Matt took it slow, his movements unhurried as he mapped my body with his tongue. Then he dragged me to his shower and pinned me against the tiled wall. Before he left to pick up Daphne, he brewed a pot of coffee and sipped his while I went down on my knees for a treat.
Overall, a very busy day.
