Page 87 of Hoax and Kisses
“True.” I let out a shaky exhale. I lean in and take a sip of my coffee, the cup warming the still-cold tips of my fingers. “But I have to move on at some point… right?”
He nods, his eyes fixed somewhere beyond my shoulder, his fingers drumming a restless rhythm against his mug. Then he looks at me in a way my heart can’t handle, his gaze slicingthrough my armor, as though it’s nothing more than thin cotton, not years of fortified hurt.
“Sometimes it’s a bit harder than flipping a switch, though, isn’t it?” The softness he infuses in that statement stitches a piece of me back into place. Like he sees thehandle with carewarnings written all over me. “Even more so when the people who should’ve held you together are the ones who tore you apart.”
He leans in, gently prying my fingers away from the cup and lacing them with his.
“I’m not those boys, Zoey. I can handle you. There’s not a single side of you that scares me, that’s too much or not enough.”
I bite my cheek to stave off the tears welling up in my throat.
“Not even when I’m wearing my high heels and expensive clothes and threatening to slash your tires if you almost run me over again?”
I deflect. It’s safer than letting my foolish heart get carried away.
“Not even then, beautiful.” He cracks a devastating smile.
Good god, will I ever catch a break? If he’s not finding the exact right words to mend my heart, he’s flashing me those ridiculously cute dimples that melt it. I can’t win.
He brushes his thumb against my skin absentmindedly as silence stretches.
“You say that,” I finally force out, “but I don’t think you’d have given me a second thought if you’d met me in Vancouver.” I lower my gaze. “I’m… different here. You wouldn’t have liked that other version of me.”
He tsks, shaking his head. “Why do you keep referring to yourself as if you’re multiple people? You think I don’t see you? All the parts that make you whole?” He bends, searching for my eyes. “You refuse to let people past that hard, in-control exterior. But it’s never worked with me. I see you for everything you are.Tough and soft. Funny and serious. Smart and goofy.” He swipes at his bottom lip with his tongue and adds, “Full of confidence but just as scared.”
My breath catches. “Scared of what?”
“Of being vulnerable with someone else.”
“Aren’t you?” I murmur, my palms suddenly sweaty.
Something flashes on his face, and for a second, I think he’s going to change the subject. I wouldn’t be offended. I’m not entitled to his answers. He’s been very clear about that. Though some questions have been burning a hole in my tongue.
He leans into the chair, knuckles brushing his chin as he stares out the window. “I’m not scared of being vulnerable,” he says, his chest rising and falling. “But I’m scared of trusting someone with my heart again. See?” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “We all have our demons.”
I push my luck. “Because of Andie?”
Matt runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah,” he says in one short exhale. “Because of Andie.”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” I offer.
“No, I do. Revisiting that part of my life is not something I particularly enjoy, that’s all.”
“I get that.”
I’m here. You can tell me. I got you.
“I ran into Andie for the first time when she came to visit Pine Falls with a group of friends for a bachelorette weekend. I’d never met someonesovibrant. Just a ball of energy. She was only supposed to stay a week, but she fell in love with the town, and… well, with me.”
He glances at me, eyes searching. I keep my face neutral, nodding to encourage him to continue.
“Things moved really fast. She only left once to pick up stuff at her place and bring it back to mine, and within two months, we were officially living together. The first few months weregreat. She got along with my friends, and they loved her. She fit into the cogs of my life effortlessly.”
He swallows audibly and shifts in his seat.
“Looking back, I should have been more wary. I should have asked myself more questions. Relationships are never perfect. They aren’t meant to be. But ours was, or so I thought. I didn’t stop to consider why we never fought, why our lives wove so easily together, when she was a total stranger only a week before we became inseparable. I thought I had hit the jackpot. So much so that after six months, I asked her to marry me.”
My heart sinks to my feet.
