Page 35 of Where Dark Hearts Devour
I thought I’d buried the Di Santo side of me long ago. But no.
All it’s taken is a cheat, a lie, and a coward’s blood leaking onto a girl’s collarbone, and it turns out I’m as dark and dangerous as I’ve ever been.
Trilby
“Serafina, button up. I can see your bra.” Allegra tuts as she flicks her eyes away from the offending outfit.
Sera rolls her eyes. “It’s supposed to peek over the top. It’s the style.”
Allegra huffs. “Underwear is much like intelligence, my dear. It’s important to have but not necessary to show off in public.”
“That’s such a sexist thing to say,” Tess says.
Allegra lifts a chin in the air. “It applies to everyone.”
“Even the heads of the Cosa Nostra?”
“Well, not those,obviously.”
Sera holds back a smirk, but Tess isn’t quite as successful, and hers slips out via a snort.
“And you, young lady.” Allegra wags a finger in Tess’s direction. “We’ve already had words this morning, so ...”
“I amnotwearing a pink dress to Tril’s wedding. And forcing me to will only result in me repressing my anger and shame at not being allowed to express myself authentically.”
Allegra goes to speak, but Tess ploughs on impressively.
“I will go through the rest of my life pretending to be someone I’m not, masking my true identity, because I fear I’ll never be accepted for who I really am. And I’ll let others treat me poorly, because I don’t feel worthy of being liked. Then, when it all becomes too much, and I begin to suffer from anxiety—that’s if the depression hasn’t already taken hold to the extent I can no longer leave the house—I’ll be relocated to a therapist’s couch and made to dig up stories about how my childhood experiences effectively ruined my life.”
Allegra halts, her mouth open wide enough to catch flies. Tess, to her credit, manages to maintain eye contact with her, while my gaze flits about as if trying to locate an escape route.
The only sound is theclipof each button as Sera fastens her jacket.
Allegra’s mouth snaps shut. “Fine.” She concedes slowly and through clenched teeth. “I won’t make you wear pink. But you are not, Contessa—I repeat,not—wearing black to the wedding. Do I make myself clear?”
Tess flicks her long hair over one shoulder with a huff. “I’ll think about it.” Then she strides ahead in black leggings, a bodysuit, and pointed-toe boots that make her look like a raunchy Catwoman.
I turn to Allegra and shrug. “I really don’t mind what she wears to the?—”
“I do.” Allegra wrings her hands together. “She isnotwearing black. This is a Mafia wedding—it’s dark enough as it is. The very least we can do is bring some color.”
Sera’s eyes flick to me. It’s the first time Allegra has expressed a view of my upcoming nuptials as anything other than bright, breezy, and law-abiding.
“Come on.” Sera threads her fingers through mine. “It’s burning out here. Let’s go inside.”
I give Allegra a smile, and she follows. It dawns on me then her hand-wringing isn’t born of exasperation. She’s terrified. As am I.
It’s been two weeks since Savero killed a man in front of my eyes. It’s been only one since Cristiano dragged me to Joe’s Bar and effectively disabled Rhett by shooting through both of his hands, and I’m still a bundle of nerves. I’ve only seen one other person get shot, and that was my mother. The sound at Joe’s took me right back to that day. But in the days since, I’ve realized with stark clarity the gun isn’t the enemy; it’s the person firing it. In some ways Cristianoisan enemy. He’s jeopardizing my ability to protect my family just bybreathing. The more I try not to think about him, the harder it becomes to keep his deep eyes and seductive voice out of my head.
But his actions were not the actions of an enemy.
I stand by my hatred for violence when it’s used for death and destruction. The only thing Cristiano destroyed that night was one man’s inclination to steal from another, and possibly the use of his hands. But one thing I was able to deduce from the madness was the fact Cristiano gave Rhett close to a thousand bucks to make sure I got home safely. And Rhett didn’t do as he was told.
I personally wouldn’t have shot through his nerve endings, but I can understand why Cristiano was a little perturbed about Rhett stealing his money.
What I don’t understand is why on earth I was worth that much.
I smile at something Sera is saying, but in the past few days I’ve lost the ability to be present with my own family. I spend long moments daydreaming about the wedding being called off so I can stare back at Savero’s brother without worrying someone might see. Those long moments should be spent throwing myself into becoming the best fiancée I can be to keep my family’s jugulars in place.
