Page 38 of Unmasked Anarchy
9
The sunlight in Kael’sroom is what stirs me from my sleep.I wake alone, the cold spot beside me tells me that Kael has been up for a while.I wonder how long I slept.For a full minute, I lie flat, arm pressed over my eyes, letting the ache in my body announce itself.Last night refuses to leave, his hands, teeth, the way my name sounded in his mouth.It loops, and for exactly five seconds, I let myself relive it, hungry, greedy.
Then I roll and check the time.
It’s ten in the morning.
Shit.I jerk upright, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
I drag myself up, legs still jelly, and find last night’s clothes hanging over the old wooden chair by the bathroom door.I get changed back into them, knowing it is probably a bad idea to walk out in just Kael’s shirt.I find my hair tie, snag it in my teeth, and tie my hair back while I shuffle into the hallway.My mouth is dry, and I am in desperate need of water and coffee.
The clubhouse is weirdly quiet.Kael’s not in the hallway, but I am heading toward the kitchen anyway.I can already hear their voices even before I walk into the small but clean kitchen.Mera and Nia are here, standing shoulder to shoulder in front of the coffee machine, laughing so loud one of them snorts.Nia pours a full mug for Mera, then does a double-take when she sees me.Her eyes widen, and she beams so hard I’m sure she might combust.Mera clocks me instantly and, in the span of one heartbeat, slams her palm against the counter, nearly taking out her own coffee.
“There she is!”she sings.“Our assassin queen.”
“Don’t call me that,” I groan, but there’s no menace to it.In fact, I’m grinning.
I walk over, taking whatever cup I can find and pushing it toward Nia.She laughs, filling it with coffee before warning me, “It’s really bad, but it’ll get you through.”
Right now, I don’t care.
“You look like you got hit by a freight train last night.”Mera wriggles her brows.“But in, like, a good way.”
I make a face, but I can't help the stupid little smile curving my mouth.“I guess you could call Kael a freight train.”
Mera sets her mug down with wide eyes and a mischievous grin, then leans over the counter.“Alright.Spill.We all heard Kael’s bed frame threaten to walk out on him last night.Please, tell us everything.Every.Thing.”She drags out the last word.
I want to play it cool.I want to shrug and pretend like it’s not a big deal, but the warmth bubbling in my chest is too much.I bite my bottom lip and let out a laugh that sounds nothing like me.“He’s ...oh man, he does things to me.”My face flushes, heat seeping up into my scalp.“But he’s also—” I lose the words for a second, which is embarrassing, so I take a gigantic gulp of coffee and try again.“He’s not like anyone I’ve ever met.He makes me feel like I’m not going to shatter when he touches me.”
Nia squeaks, clapping her hands together.“You’re in looooove.”
“No,” I say, too fast, too loud.I stare down at my coffee, swirling it in the mug.“I’m not.I can’t be.I barely even know the guy.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Mera says, voice suddenly gentle.“Sometimes it’s the punch in the face you remember, not the day you met.”
That gets me.I snort, choking down coffee and a laugh.“That’s the least romantic thing I’ve ever heard, but I love it.”
The girls press closer, their eyes wide with desperation to hear more.Nia’s hand lands on my arm.“So, what do you do now?”
I freeze.I meet Nia’s eyes, and I see no judgment there, just intense curiosity.“Gage is a problem,” I say, but then realize it’s more complicated than that.“Actually, it’s both.Gage is ...he’s not going to let me go, not ever.But Kael, I don’t think he is, either.”
Mera’s eyes go soft.“Do you love Gage?”
I open my mouth, close it, and try again.“I used to.Maybe I still do.But it’s not like ...”I wave my hand, trying to untangle the mess inside my head.“I don’t know what I feel.All I know is, I’m not scared of losing him anymore.I’m just scared of what he’ll do when he realizes he’s lost me.”
“Maybe he never had you,” Nia offers.
