Page 11 of My Cowboy Boss
Arizona
I unlock the apartment door and I’m inside at record speed. Our elderly neighbor Donna whispers, “She’s sleeping well.”
I know my smile is bright and I say all the right things, but I don’t remember a word of it. Once Donna is gone, I lock up and walk over to the sofa to check on Aspen for myself.
An oscillating fan stirs the warm air in the room. The air conditioner has always struggled to keep the apartment cool.
My sister is lying on her side, the hand that’s not injured curled beneath her head the way she’s slept since she was a kid. And it hits me square in the heart how she was barely older than a kid herself before she gave up all her dreams at the time to raise me.
A sitcom we’ve both seen a dozen times and love is still playing on the TV and I sit in the worn armchair next to the sofa.
Aspen and I have had some of our best conversations among the fictional neighbors and laugh track. I tell her, “Just between you and me, your boss is the hottest guy I’ve ever met. He said he’d give me a ride and he meant a ride home, but I was thinking of a completely different kind of ride.”
And he kissed me nearly senseless. A kiss, though perfect as it was, can’t be repeated.
I glance over at my sister’s peaceful face. Slumber has tucked away the care and concerns she deals with for a little while and I’m thankful for that.
“That kiss can never happen again. He thinks I’m you.” And I feel guilt all the way down to my bones. “And because you’re so brilliant,” I whisper during a commercial break touting the joy of a coffee brand. “You’re one of the smartest people I know and, there’s no way I can ever truly fill your shoes. I feel like such a fraud.”
Panda meows softly in agreement and I absently pet her head before I lean over to straighten the throw blanket covering Aspen.
“And you’re sweet and giving,” I continue. “You were the rock and the anchor when there was nothing steady in my life.”And now that I’m pretending to be you in this job you desperately want, what if because I’m attracted to your boss, I derail this whole thing?
And attraction is a mild word for what I feel when I’m around him. I sizzle when he’s near. I think about what Flint said.
I heard theit’s-all-goodfakeness in his voice when he said he had a painful childhood. Spoken so offhand like it was no big deal. But pain is like an iceberg. You see the tip of it and think you’re okay but it’s the huge part hidden deep down that hits months or years later that wrecks you when you least expect it.
That’s why I didn’t say anything other than telling him it must have been hard on him. After my parents died, we were nearly drowned in platitudes. People mean well but sometimes say brainless stuff when you’re hurting.
And I didn’t want to do that to Flint.
The sitcom ends with laughter, and the end credits roll. I rise to shut off the TV.
Normally, Panda sleeps in my bed curled up against me but right now she’s snuggled at my sister’s feet. Everything I lovemost in the world is here in front of me and I want to protect them both. I want them to live happy lives. I can’t screw up this job.
“Goodnight,” I whisper to both of them and head to bed.
The night is far too short, and the morning greets me with fragments of a dream I can’t quite latch onto.
After I rise and get ready for work, I head into the living room to find Donna there at the kitchen table. There’s a mug of coffee in front of her and a box of donuts between them.
“Sleep okay?” I ask Aspen.
“I did after Donna convinced me to take the pain medicine the doctor prescribed, and it knocked me out.” Aspen cuts a donut in half and the gooey filling oozes out. She licks her finger.
Not wanting to take strong medicine is a throwback from when she was younger. She would say she needed to keep a clear head for my sake.
“The car broke down at the ranch,” I tell her stifling a yawn as I turn to Donna. “Would it be possible for me to borrow yours?”
“Sure, honey.” Donna hands me her keys. “Ignore all the sex toys in the backseat.”
I pause as I search for a pair of my sister’s heels and Donna laughs. “That got your attention. I bet you’re wide awake now.”
I laugh and open the door, coming face to face with Flint.
My stomach drops.He’s here. Whywhywhy? Did he discover the truth?
I quickly dart into the hallway which forces him to step back and I pull the apartment door closed behind me. If he was the one who looked at the resume and he hears my sister’s name today, then he’ll know the wrong person has been working at the ranch.
