Page 22 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend
As soon as I’ve removed my insulin pumpand I’m naked under the warm spray, my hand is wrapped around my swollen cock, stroking, trying to focus on only the sensation and how good it feels like I normally would. I add some of the lube I keep in the shower to my hand, trying to fight the memory of that fucking kiss, and focus on anything else, but there’s no use. That was by far the single hottest moment of my life.
Am I gay?Have I really been so ignorant of my own attraction to not know that about myself by now?
I try to picture another man, an actor, or athlete that I’ve heard people refer to as attractive, but despite how desperate I was feeling moments ago, picturing other men has my cock flagging in my grip. I try to think about my past hookups and relationships, about the women I’ve been attracted to before, but no one stands out.
Then the way Oakley’s lips felt against my own comes rushing to the forefront of my mind, and all I can focus on is the way he was so aggressive, almost teasing as he nipped and licked at my mouth before exploring with his tongue. My cock is aching again, already leaking as the memories of that kiss consume me. His fingers in my hair. His firm ass on my lap as I ground my erection into him.
What would it feel like to have less clothes between us?
A part of me is shocked by the thought. Before our kiss I would have never cared what Oakley was wearing, let alone wished for him to be naked. But I’ve also never been as turned on as I am fantasizing about him. I’m enjoying it way too much to be overly concerned about the details of what it all means. I can stress about that more later.
Pleasure overwhelms me, spreading from where it had been building deep in my gut throughout my whole body until I feel like I’m on fire with how turned on I am, burning from the inside as my dick jerks and my hand is coated in cum. I’m panting underthe warm water, one arm outstretched, leaning into the tiled wall for support as I struggle to stay standing.
Fuck.
I just jerked off to thoughts of my best friend. After sharing what was undoubtedly the hottest kiss of my life with him.
I have no idea what this means for us, or for me, but there is no denying now that I’m attracted to Oakley. Even as I’m filled with guilt over what I just did, my cock twitches again at the thought of our kiss. I’ve never been this horny in my life. Even in my teenage years when other guys seemed obsessed with the idea of having sex, I’ve always been sort of indifferent, content to take care of my urges myself.
I’m definitely not indifferent right now as I picture my best friend.What the fuck is happening to me?Is this what it’s supposed to feel like when you’re attracted to someone? How did I go this long without realizing that I’m into my best friend? Have I been ignoring feelings that were there before tonight because of how insistent we’ve always been that we’re just friends when people make assumptions? Or did that kiss awaken something inside of me that I wouldn’t have ever discovered if we’d never crossed that line?
Aspen must read the confusion in whatever expression I’m wearing as I leave the bathroom to get into bed. “Want to talk about it?” she offers.
“Nothing to talk about,” I respond firmly. I don’t know what any of this means and I’m definitely not ready to talk about my reaction to the kiss or the thoughts that it inspired with anyone. And even if I was, Oakley’s girlfriend’s best friend probably isn’t the ideal person to talk about it with. Aspen might be able to relate to some of these emotions, but I don’t want her projecting her situation onto me any more than she already has.
This might have been a fluke that will blow over and I’ll forget all about it in a few weeks. No need to have herthinking I’m in love with Oak because I enjoyed kissing him. Or what if she felt obligated to tell Sage about what I’m feeling? Oakley seems very happy dating her, and I would hate for something I said to Aspen to compromise his relationship.
Talking is definitely not a good idea. I’ll just continue to question everything I thought I knew about myself internally.
That’s way better.
11
OAKLEY
June
I’ve always been the oldeststraightCaldwell brother. Beckett’s been very vocal about being gay for as long as I can remember, so even from a young age, any girl trying to get in with our family name turned tome. Our younger brothers came tomewith their questions about dating and what to do or say when trying to impress the opposite gender. I’ve never questioned that I’mstraight.
But last night didn’t feel very straight. My hard cock twitching when Parker’s erection dug into my ass didn’t feel very straight.
Then he was lifting me off him, ending our kiss and unleashing a storm of confusion in my mind. Questions about what the kiss meant, why it felt so good, and why we had never done it before still swirl violently around in my head, fighting for my focus while I attempt to stay afloat in my routine.
For the first time in over twenty years, I don’t know how to act around my best friend. I don’t know what he’s thinking. AndI’m afraid to ask in case it shatters the calm facade of normalcy I’m desperately clinging to.
The girls left early this morning; they had brunch plans with some people from Sage’s work and needed to get ready, leaving Parker and I alone.
We avoided eye contact for a few moments when we first ran into each other in the kitchen, but then, he asked if I was almost ready for our workout, slipping into our normal morning routine.
I eagerly agreed, happy that he wasn’t ignoring me completely. Last night when he asked if I was okay after the kiss, I was completely unsure how to answer. I was entirely surprised by how much I enjoyed it and a part of me was pissed he ended it when he did. But I must have just been really horny, and I’ve always enjoyed kissing, plus our girlfriends were there. How was I supposed to respond? So, I tried to laugh it off like it was no big deal because I thought that was what everyone would expect me to do. And Parker immediately agreed, so I’m glad I didn’t admit just how much I enjoyed it if he didn’t feel the same way.
Parker is the most important person in my life, and if last night somehow fucked up our friendship, I would never forgive myself.
If he’s going to continue with business as usual with no acknowledgement of what happened last night, then the kiss must not have been a big deal to him.
Which means I can’t let on how big of a deal it was to me. I don’t want him to worry that I want things to change between us.Because I don’t.Questioning my sexual orientation doesn’t mean I’m suddenly in love with my best friend.
Now we’re in the fitness center, and I’m spotting for Parker as he bench presses a crazy high amount of weight. I’ve always been impressed by his physique, but I catch myself following a bead of sweat as it drips down the sharp edge of his jaw and wishing Icould lick it off of him.What the actual fuck? I’m not going to lick my best friend.
