Page 35 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend
“I wasn’t sure if there was actually a reason that you wanted to come over, like if you needed to talk about something with me, since you called me and not Beck, so I wanted to be prepared,” he explains, gesturing to everything that he’s set out. “If we’re just bored, then there’s low-carb, high-protein snack options and sports drinks. But, if we’re upset about something, there’s also chips, desserts, and beer or hard liquor. I know you like wine, but we don’t usually drink it, so I couldn’t decide what type to put out. I think there’s some on display somewhere in this fancy place if you want it, though,” he offers with a shy smile.
Cody is always super high-energy and tends to ramble, so I’m not surprised by his over-explanation or by how prepared he was for my arrival.
I love how much he clearly cares about me already. My brother really did find a good one. “Um…” I hesitate, not sure if I want to get right into it, or whatiteven is that I want to get into exactly. “Maybe the beer,” I finally answer.
I’ve never been a huge drinker because I don’t like to put myself in a situation where I couldn’t help my friends or family if they needed me.Fuck, even leaving Parker alone like I did now feels so wrong.But I know talking with Cody and Beck will help, so I try to ignore the unwelcome thoughts about bad things happening if I drink, or am away from Parker, and casually pull up the app on my phone that has his continuous glucose monitor reading. He’s at 115, which is great, so I actually do calm down a bit.
I open up the offered drink, and Cody and Beck each do the same, looking at me expectantly. I’m not sure how to begin, so I just go for it. “So, Cody, you realized that you were bi later in life than some people do, what was that like?” I ask, hoping that my question isn’t offensive.
“You finally fucked Parker,” Beck accuses with a huge smirk on his face.
“I did no such thing!” I assure him.I really hope that my cheeks aren’t as red as they feel.
“Did he fuck you then?” Beck deadpans, and I involuntarily shudder at the thought of his giant cock somehow fitting inside of me. “That’s a no,” he continues, sounding disappointed for some reason.
“No need to look horrified. Bottoming is awesome,” Cody assures me.
This is so not how I thought we’d start this conversation.“I’m not horrified at the idea of bottoming,” I hurry to say, really worried that I’ve put my foot in my mouth and forced this conversation to end before it could even begin. “He just has a huge dick and there’s just no way…” I trail off my attempt to explain when I see how smug Beck is back to looking. Cody starts laughing at our exchange, and I left out a frustrated huff. “I wastryingto talk to Cody, thank you very much,” I say, rolling my eyes at Beck and dramaticallyturning my chair away from him so that I’m directly facing Cody’s direction.
“So,Cody, you were going to tell me about your bi-awakening,” I prompt with a sugar-sweet smile, ignoring Beck's laughter on my other side.
“Yes, what a normal topic of conversation for this random get-togetherwithout Parker. I’m sure it has nothing to do with you or why you two have been so weird lately,” Beck adds, unhelpfully.
I ignore him.
“There isn’t really much to say,” Cody apologizes. “I think that I grew up without a lot of LGBTQIA+ influences and assumed that I would end up married to a woman. But, when your brother tried to kiss me, I realized I really wanted him to, so I must not be as straight as I had assumed,” he says with a shrug.
“Wait, you didn’t realize it untilafterBeck tried to kiss you?” I ask. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the details about how their relationship began, I just knew my brother was obsessed with him.
“Yeah, looking back, it’s obvious I cared more about him than I did other random people I’d met traveling. I was really excited to hang out with him, to talk to him. I was constantly finding excuses to message him or even talk about him before I realized what it all meant,” Cody says.
Well, that's not helpful.I’ve cared about Parker more than everyone else for the last twenty-one years of my life, nothing has changed there.
“But then the kiss?” I prompt. That’s the part that sounds familiar.
“Yeah, he tried to kiss me and I knew my reaction meant I must not be straight,” he explains with a shrug.
“Wasn’t that confusing?” I ask. I’ve been a mess for months over my own kiss.
“Not really. I try to follow what makes me happy, and I reallywanted to keep kissing him,” he says enthusiastically making Beck laugh.
“Cody is not a good example if you’re looking for someone who went through an identity-crisis,” Beck apologizes. “And neither am I, but if you do have anything else you want to tell us about, I promise to stop giving you shit and actually be a supportive big brother,” he says with an encouraging smile.
I know he means it, but I don’t want to tell them everything. At least not yet.
When Beck accused Parker and I of fucking, I realized that I don’t want to betray his trust and share anything that Parker might not want them to know. Even though Beck is my brother, he and Cody are also some of Parker’s closest friends.
“Thanks, Beck, but there’s nothing else to share,” I say, attempting a relaxed smile. I’m not sure I pull it off, but he nods in understanding.
“Well, if anything changes, you know we’re both always here for you. Or for Parker, for that matter,” he adds. I really am lucky to have him as a big brother.
We move on to discussing the Werewolves because preseason is about to begin, and Beck is really excited with how training camp has been going. It’s their captain’s final year before retirement, and he’s convinced that they’ll win the cup. I hope so, but it’s also not the first time I’ve heard him say that.
After about an hour, I decide that I’ve been out long enough and head back home, stopping at a pharmacy to grab some allergy meds in case Parker asks what I needed. When I get home, he’s on the couch with his laptop open, SportsCenter on in the background, focused on whatever work he’s doing. It’s a scene that I’ve seen hundreds of times before, but I’ve never stopped to appreciate its domesticity. I like coming home to him relaxed in our space.
I’m not going to think too deeply about what thatmeans. I’ve decided to try to take a page out of Cody’s book and just go with the flow, try to act on what makes me happy. I’ll acknowledge these thoughts about Parker and then move on. If he wants to continue on the way we always have, the way that we’ve both always been happy with, then there’s no reason for me to stress about it.
If anything changes, I’ll deal with it then.
