Page 66 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend
“Oak, we should probably cool down. The nurses definitely didn’t sign up to walk in on what I want to do to you right now.”
He smirks at me with a wicked challenge in his eyes, like that only makes him want to keep going, but I laugh and tug his hair until he’s back to being seated upright in the bed next to me. I take his hand in mine once again, interlacing our fingers this time, and I force myself to ignore the lust coursing through me.
I know there’s still a lot we need to talk about.
“Oak, what changed?” I hesitantly ask, afraid that he might still be unsure, but I need to know. “I thought that you wanted us to fool around until you were confident enough to start dating men.”
“I agreed to keep things physical because I thought you wanted me to, Parker. You mentioned a checklist when we agreed to it, and I was just trying to make you happy,” he says softly.
Is he joking?“Fuck, Oak. I only did it for you.”
He lets out a sharp, disbelieving laugh. “So, you’retelling me we’ve both wanted more, but because we thought the other one didn’t and were too afraid to actually talk, we’ve both just been pining after each other for months?” he clarifies.
When he spells it out like that, it makes me feel like the world's most oblivious person.
“Apparently,” I chuckle.
“So, I didn’t fuck up twenty years of friendship by telling you I’m in love with you?” he asks, his smile stretching wider than I’ve ever seen it.
“Definitely not. Oak, I think you’re the only person I could ever feel this way about. I’m so in love with you in a way I didn’t know existed until the first kiss changed everything,” I agree, mirroring his expression. “What do we do now then?” I ask, unsure of what my own answer would be.
“I do still want a big family like you said,” he admits slowly. “I just don’t want to do that with anyone who isn’t you. I want to be living together as partners, in the same room, eventually I’d love to raise kids that call you dad, too.”
I’m struggling to take a full breath with how tight my throat is. I love the sound of the future he’s suggesting, one I’d never considered before we kissed. It sounds perfect. It’s a future where there’s no need for anyone else, and I want it more than anything.
Oakley isn’t done talking, though, so I try to stop my thoughts from running away and focus on what he’s saying. “You’ve never really talked about wanting to marry anyone, or have kids. So if that’s not what you want, then we can talk about it and figure something out. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. The last few months when I’ve gotten to be with you physically, but had to hold back emotionally, have made it very clear to me that all I really, truly want, is to be with you in every way that I can.”
To me, his words are everything, because it’s what I want too. I want to keep sharing a house with him, I've always dreaded the day he was no longer my roommate, but now he’s saying that daymight never have to come. I want to give him the big family that he’s always dreamed of having, to behiskid’s other parent, to raise them together.
The image of that future seems so clear in my mind, even if this moment is the first that I’ve ever allowed myself to truly see it as a real option.
I’ve always known Oak will make a great father. After losing my own so unexpectedly, it hasn’t been something I’ve really focused on for myself, but being a parent with Oakley as my partner sounds like the best possible outcome.
Is this really happening?
Or am I actually in a coma and my swollen brain is providing me with the perfect fantasy of everything I’ve never known I wanted Oakley to say to me?
He looks at me expectantly, and I decide I need to go along with what’s happening as though it’s real until proven otherwise. “Oak, you’re the only person I’ve ever loved. I’m fairly certain you’re the only person that I could ever be in love with. The whole reason I agreed to the friends-with-benefits thing is that I wanted whatever relationship you were willing to give me,” I admit.
“Does that mean we’re officially together?” he asks, and the pure joy shining in his eyes as he stares at me like I’m the greatest thing to ever happen to him is equally as intimidating as it is satisfying. I’m ecstatic that, somehow, Oakley loves me back. But I also don’t want to disappoint him, and I don’t think it will be as easy as deciding we want to date each other.
As much as I hate myself for bringing it up and being the one to potentially upset him, I know we need to stop filtering our thoughts and concerns from one another. That’s what led us to being with the girls for so long instead of each other.
“What about our jobs, though?” I point out. “One of the major benefits I saw to dating Aspen publicly was that noone at work would question my qualifications and ability to do my job well if they suspected we were together. You’re technically my boss. What if they think I only got my promotion because we’re together? What if the board calls to fire me?”
I didn’t mean to throw all of my concerns at him at once, but I guess it’s good that they’re out there. Oakley’s eyebrows are pulled together again, and his eyes are unfocused as he looks around the room like he’ll somehow find a solution to all of our problems there.
“Then I’ll quit,” he says simply, like it’s an easy decision.
“What the fuck, Oak? You can’t quit. Your whole life has been about taking over the Caldwell Hotel brand,” I point out.
“I don’t think you get it,” he says seriously. He’s smiling softly, staring right into my soul. I’m captivated by his eyes. They remind me of the endless shades of blue we saw in Bora Bora, the place where this new phase in our relationship truly began. I’m still sort of in shock about everything that’s happened today, that he not only loves me, but that he would be willing to put our relationship above literally everything else. Before I can formulate a response though, he’s continuing, making me somehow even more emotional. “You’re my whole life, Parker. The thing that makes me happier than anything else. I could be happy without my job, but I don’t think I could ever be truly happy without you.”
My heart is racing again, and he chuckles as he glances at the monitor. I try to take steadying breaths as I think of a way that he wouldn’t have to risk his career. “What if we don’t tell anyone yet? We could take some time to figure out a better plan,” I suggest.
“About that…” he says slowly, looking guiltier than I’ve ever seen him. “You know how I said Beck and Cody saw me leave?” he hesitantly asks. I nod and he bites his lip before continuing quickly. “Well, I might have blurted out that I’m in love with you and that I was coming here to fight for you.”
“Oh,” is all I can get out, shocked by his confession, my mind racing with what that means for us if people already know.
