Page 8 of Accidentally Falling For My Best Friend
I’ve never known anyone who died before.
My grandparents are still alive, and my great-grandparents were gone before I was born. Luckily, no one in my family has been seriously sick. That day when I thought Parker might die was the closest I’d ever felt to death.
Until last night, when I heard Parker’s mom sobbing.
We had been playing video games in the living room when she answered the door. We thought maybe she’d ordered food, so we ran to meet her, but we were still around the corner when we heard a man’s voice start apologizing to her.
“I’m so sorry, Ma’am, there’s been an accident. A drunk driver turned the wrong way down a one-way road without their lights on,” he trailed off for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Your husband was crossing the street. Witnesses confirmed that he had the walk signal, but the driver didn’t slow down at the intersection,” he explained, pausing again. “He died on impact. I’m so sorry,” he finally said.
His mom screamed and started bawling. I don’t think I’ve ever heard an adult scream like that before. We both ran to her,and there were two Chicago Police Department officers standing there with sad, apologetic expressions.
My stomach dropped through the floor as their words caught up to me. Parker’s mom looked toward us from where she had sunk down on the floor, leaning against the wall, and I’ve never seen heartbreak written so clearly on someone’s face.
“Is Dad really gone?” Parker choked out on a whisper.
His mom looked like she could barely move, let alone speak, but she managed a slight nod.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, unlike the night of Parker’s hospitalization, where I can recall every detail, even now, years later. The officers left, and the three of us cried in their entryway, huddled around each other on the floor.
I know it might seem odd that I was a part of that moment, but for the last four years, Parker’s dad was like my second dad, too.
Parker and I do everything together. So he was at every hockey game, he took us to half of the practices, and he helped us with homework. He showed us how to use the gym equipment and what workouts to do. I’ve spent nearly half of the last four years here in their house.
On the scariest night of my life,hewas the one who calmed me down. He pulled me out of my panic and promised me that everything would be okay. Promised that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Parker.
That was the moment that I realized how special his family really is, how lucky I am that I’m a part of it.
And now he’s gone.
I know it isn’t the same grief Parker is experiencing, and I’m glad that I can be here for him, but I’m not going to pretend like this is only his loss; that would dishonor his dad’s memory and the impact he had on my life.
Parker lost his dad, and I lost someone who I truly considered to be my family.
I know it’s my job to step up and be strong for Parker and his mom right now, but it won’t be easy.
Parker ended up sleeping in his mom’s room last night. I had already planned to spend the night, so I slept in his bed to give them privacy. I wish I could have been the one holding him though, giving him comfort, letting him know how loved he is.
I called my mom and told her what happened, and after she spent some time crying, she told me that I should stay here in case Parker needed me, and that she would be over first thing in the morning with breakfast.
Our parents have all gotten pretty close over the years with how often Parker and I are together, so I know his loss is hitting her hard too.
As soon as I tell her I’m awake, she shows up. Like the minute I text her. I think she’d been waiting outside. After giving me a very tight hug, she gets right to work preparing the food she brought.
Eventually Parker and his mom wake up, and my mom spends a long time hugging them both. My mom reassures Parker’s mom that she’s not alone, that she and my dad will do anything and everything that they can to help ease her burdens. Judy thanks her, still looking completely defeated.
I know they don’t have any family in the area, so I’m not sure if she has anyone else to turn to.
After we eat, my mom tells me to take Parker to his room so that she can talk to Judy more about arrangements,whatever that means. I don’t know what to say that could possibly help him as we both plop down onto his bed. Parker curls up, hugging his pillow and I’m not sure what to do at first, but I end up curling myself behind where he’s lying so that I can hug him.
We’ve never cuddled like this before, and he’s bigger than me, but I want him to know that he isn’t alone, that he’ll always have me, and my family. I’ll never forget how loved hisdad made me feel when he comforted me, even though his own son was literally on the way to the hospital.
“Parker, I never told you this,” I start, trying not to cry. “On the night you got diagnosed, I was kind of a mess when the paramedics were there. I couldn’t calm down enough to answer anyone’s questions, and I tried to climb into the ambulance with you,” I admit.
He’s quiet, so I continue. “Your dad had to hold me back. He was so calm and supportive. He was able to talk me down from my panic, and he made me a promise that really helped me feel like the world wasn’t ending.” I have to stop again, taking a deep breath in before finishing. “He told me that you would be okay and promised me that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you,” I say as more tears run down my face. “That was the first time I ever felt like an adult, other than my parents, cared about me. I knew you were my best friend, and that you mattered to me more than anyone, but it was the first time I ever realized you can choose people to be your family. He had chosen to care about me like I was just as important as his own son,” I explain.
“That sounds like him,” Parker mumbles after a moment of silence, and I squeeze him tighter.
I grab his hand with mine and wrap my smallest finger around his. “I’m going to make another pinky promise,” I explain, and he huffs out an almost laugh. “I promise that I am going to do everything I possibly can to help you and your mom. You guys are the best people I know, and no one deserves this. You have to know your dad didn’t deserve this,” I say with as much conviction as I can.
