Page 120 of Mr. Aster
“When it comes to visiting places like that, it very much becomes about me, lover,” I said. “I will not be pushed and shoved at theme parks or forced to watch animals in captivity.”
Darcy started laughing, and I could only roll my eyes in return.
“Of all the places I thought you’d hate, I didn’t think a zoo would be on the list.”
“Why not?” I answered her. “I may be part of the minority here, but I’m not a fan of them.”
“Well, many people agree with you, my mother being one of them; however, I would’ve never guessed you’d care about animals in confinement.” She laughed again, shaking her head. “While I understand where you’re coming from, some of those animals cannot survive in the wild. They’re living happy, full lives in the zoo because they were rescued, not stolen from some safari trip and thrown into a tiny cage.”
“It is unnatural for any animal to be confined, no matter the reason,” I said, feeling as though I lived my entire life like one of those animals in a zoo. I’d been confined when all I wanted was the freedom and life I had with Darcy now.
“But at least they’re alive,” Darcy countered.
“You realize‘at least they’re alive’is far and away theworstargument for imprisonment I’ve ever heard, right? Thank God you aren’t a prison warden, Jesus Christ,” I teased.
“Okay, that’s not how I meant it, but you’ve definitely made a fair point,” she laughed.
“I’m just surprised at your lack of sympathy for wild animals, considering you were named after an orphaned monkey,” I joked.
“Hey, that orphaned monkey is most likely dead,” Darcy shot back humorously. “If he were in the LA Zoo, he’d be swinging happily from vine to vine, alive and well. Perhaps even getting an overabundance of treats from little girls like your daughter and living his best life. Instead, he was orphaned, named by humans, and probably thrown back in the jungle to fend for himself.”
“You really believe Darcel is dead?” I questioned as seriously as I could.
“With a name like that, yes,” she sighed dramatically. “I know that poor bastard is dead.”
“Well, you share his name and are doing rather well for yourself, if I do say so myself,” I chuckled. “Perhaps Darcel is swinging from tree to tree in the rainforest somewhere. Maybe he met a beautiful lady monkey, had children, and ate his fair share of bananas while living free as a bird.”
“Take Charlotte to the zoo,” Darcy pressed. “I think you both will love it. You can’t help but bond when you share the great delight of seeing those animals, even if you feel sorry for them.”
“We’re not going to the zoo,” I said, more frustrated with Darcy for pressing an issue I disagreed with than I realized. “She’s two years old. She won’t remember it.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Darcy pressed. “It’s something fun for both of you. She’ll see pictures when she’s older, and she’ll be?—”
“No,” I said in an abrupt attempt to shut this all down. “I will decide on something else.”
I got up and out of bed, my mood taking a bizarre turn. Something was setting me off, but I couldn’t place it. All I knew was that I was feeling pressured to do something I didn’t want to do, and somehow, I was to blame for not going along with it.
I knew Darcy wasn’t trying to be bitchy about any of this, but I didn’t like her continual insistence to force an idea on me that I disagreed with.
“Where are you going?” Darcy asked with a laugh.
“Taking a shower,” I said dismissively.
Once in the shower, I turned on the hot water, which was piping hot thanks to the new electric water heater I’d had installed. I leaned my head forward and let the rainfall showerhead clear my mind.
This was how my mood would shift whenever Melissa would order me around and treat me like I were a fucking idiot when she disagreed with the way I wanted to do things. I hated this fucking feeling. I hoped a hot shower would wash this shit off me, and I would settle down.
The more I thought of how Melissa used to make me feel, the more pissed off I became. Adding to my irritation was my goddamn appointment with Natalia this afternoon to see another fucking house that I probably wouldn’t like, much like the five hundred others I’d already seen and turned down.
“Are you okay?” Darcy questioned, brushing her teeth at the sink.
“Fine,” I said in a clipped tone, annoyed she’d followed me in here when all I wanted was some space. “Listen, I’m sorry. I think I’m just a bit overwhelmed.”
I felt like such a dick for putting her on the receiving end of my bullshit.
“It’s okay,” she said in a muffled tone while scrubbing her teeth. She spit the foamy toothpaste in the sink, rinsed her mouth, and grabbed a towel to dry it. “I was just trying to offer some ideas. I’ve made a note to myself that theme parks and zoos are places I never expect to go to with you.”
I was grateful I hadn’t upset her, but I did need some space. I cared too much for Darcy to hurt her, and I was terrified thata nasty mood like what’d crept over me would push her away. I was terrified I might do something to fuck up all this perfection and beauty I’d found, and as much as I was deadest against that happening, I also didn’t trust myself.
