Page 89 of Mr. Aster
“Exactly. I think maybe a lot of women are like that. It makes me laugh because the way you’re saying this to me makes me feel like I’m some crazy alien for feeling this way.”
“I know every woman is different, but some women, like me, can keep their emotions in check and just enjoy a casual fuck here or there with no expectations or hope of commitment.”
“God, I feel like?—”
“Stop, and just follow me for a moment,” she said, interrupting me and sensing my rising frustration. “You fucked the man, and I’m sure it was delightful. I can only imagine how beautiful it was to be the first woman he enjoyed sexually in a very long time,” she said in a cute, sultry voice. “So, getting back to the basics to help calm your mind that you’re not committingemotional suicide with him, I have to ask,” she paused, and her eyes locked with mine. “Have you and Sebastian hadanypersonal conversations?”
“Personal conversations?” I was confused. “Like talking about our likes or dislikes?”
“Yeah, that, or him confiding things that make him appear vulnerable. For example, how exceptionally horrible his parents are and how he’s captive to their wishes and his family money? Or perhaps, the death of his wife? His daughter, and how he feels about her?” She relaxed some, “Things of that nature. Intimate details of his life that would make you feel he trusted you?”
“Not really,” I answered. “And I haven’t really done that with him, either.”
“Then you’re already safer than you think,” she said. “If you believe you’re getting attached to the man simply because of his amazing ability to fuck you over the moon, you’re wrong. All of that is just lust, and when you and he part ways, you’ll get over those lustful desires quickly,” she affirmed. “So long as you two aren’t confiding the intimate details of your lives and becoming vulnerable together, you’re just enjoying good fucking. I say while in Mexico, enjoy the delicious food, weather, and amazing sex with a completely gorgeous man who will most likely not keep his dick out of you until everyone leaves to go home.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “I mean, I haven’t been with anyone since my last boyfriend, and we broke up over two years ago. I was horny, too.”
“See. You are both just sex deprived and gorgeous with hot bods, and you’re merely enjoying the fact that you have the privacy of this villa to fuck and get it out of your systems.”
“Okay,” I sighed, feeling a little more relieved. “Just so long as we don’t gotherewith private details of our lives, right?”
“Look at you,” she chuckled. “You’re like a scared little virgin teenager. You already know what is dangerous with men.Getting close to a man who is not emotionally available is dangerous. You already know Sebastian Aster is not emotionally available, or else he’d be crying over your shoulder, getting the grief out of his system. He’s not doing that. He’s just enjoying the company of a woman he finds tempting and ravishingly gorgeous.”
“If I keep it together, I’ll be safe with him, correct?”
“Only you know the answer to that,” she said. “But if you’re asking for myopinion,then yes. Keep it to casual fucking and light conversation, and keep your emotions pulled back. The trouble will come if you start believing he wants more. Unless he confirms that’s what he wants, do not go into your head about it.”
“Exactly,” I said, cringing at how stupid this made me look to Nat, “So, just keep my guard up.”
“Unless he proves that the rest of the world can go fuck itself because he wants only you, with or without anyone else’s approval, yes. Otherwise, keep everything guarded up.”
“Okay. I feel so stupid,” I said, “but I’m scared because I feel like I’m going to fall for him.”
“You’ve already fallen for him, sweetie,” she smiled. “We can all see that, but just keep yourself protected from falling any further.” She paused for a second and then looked at me sternly, “However,ifhe explicitly says that he wants more with you—and I’m emphasizing this because I saw something in him last night, too—don’t be afraid to explore that. Sebastian Aster is the type of man to tell the world to go fuck itself if it doesn’t agree with what he wants. And I get the feeling he wants you, but until he proves that, don’t get ahead of yourself emotionally, okay? And don’t worry because you will be fine. I hope it all works out.”
“The last thing we need is for me to create fantasies of things working out in my head.”
“Honey, who needs to create a fantasy? I see that man making fairytale eyes at you. And you are positively glowing. Put those two together, and I know the sex had to be hot as hell last night.”
“Exceeded my expectations.”
“Explosive orgasms?” she questioned with an arch of her eyebrow. “Oh, you don’t even have to answer. I can tell that man had you climbing the walls, and I love to see it,” she chuckled and stood, looking down at her petite gold watch. “Are you ready to go? I’ll text the girls and let them know we’re on our way.”
“Yes,” I stood following her. “Let me grab my purse, and we’ll walk up together. None of them know the truth about me and Sebastian?”
“None. They’re all buying the lie since you couldn’t keep your eyes and hands off each other last night.”
“Sebastian knows that you know the truth,” I said, almost forgetting to tell her.
“Good, then he’ll know I have my eye on him.”
I flipped off the bathroom light and gathered my things. I felt much lighter and better, knowing I didn’t go too far over my head with Sebastian. I was concerned something may have started that would hurt me in the end, but Nat was right. We weren’t emotionally attached at all. We were just two horny humans enjoying that we were given the opportunity to have sex, and so we took it.
No harm done.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sebastian
