Page 4 of The Notecard
‘Is it?’ says Keri. ‘I think cream is its own colour. Like beige isn’t just light brown, is it? It’s beige. I think cream is cream.’
‘You know what, I didn’t think about it like that,’ says Mum.
I Google whether cream is a colour or just a shade of white. Laura looks annoyed.
‘Cream is the pastel colour of yellow,’ I say.
‘So not white then?’ says Mum.
‘That means you technically had a yellow wedding dress,’ says Keri.
‘Yeah, I suppose it does,’ says Mum with a chuckle. ‘How weird.’
‘That’s funny,’ says Keri. ‘A yellow wedding dress.’
‘For fuck’s sake,’ says Laura suddenly. We all stop and look at her. ‘Can we please just focus on my dress and not whether cream is yellow or white or fucking purple? No-one cares.’
Laura stares at Keri. Luckily Keri is oblivious to people being annoyed at her. It’s a skill I wish I had. Keri lives in her own world, her own little Keri bubble, and I think it’s quite nice in there. Keri gets up and wanders back to the kitchen. She takes another bite of chocolate, stops, and I think she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t. Instead she walks back into the kitchen. Laura can be so harsh sometimes. She’s always been like that. I get back to Perfect Wedding magazine, but Mum’s phone beeps with a message. She picks it up, looks at it, and then laughs.
‘You won’t believe this one,’ says Mum.
‘If it’s another message from your toy boy, we don’t want to hear about it,’ says Laura.
‘Oh, come on, it’s really good,’ says Mum. ‘He wants to see me tonight because…’
‘Really?’ says Laura, turning her annoyed voice up a few levels. ‘Do you have to keep going on about you and Jason? We don’t care, Mum. I don’t care. Meg doesn’t care. So please just stop going on about it. Jesus. And FYI, it sounds like Jason is probably a sex pest.’
There’s a moment of tension. I don’t know how Mum will react. Mum and Laura are close. Closer than I am with either of them. Mum and Laura have always been more like friends first and mother and daughter second. I’m definitely just Mum’s daughter. Our relationship is almost on a professional level. Laura has always been her favourite. At school Laura did gymnastics and dance, and Mum would go to every performance. Clapping and crying in the audience, taking photo after photo. Laura had a trophy cabinet in the living room that Mum would polish religiously. I joined the debate club and Mum never came to a single debate. I suppose in hindsight, I could have debated Mum about her obsession with Laura’s achievements and her complete apathy when it came to mine, but it never occurred to me.
‘What’s up with you?’ says Mum after a moment.
‘Nothing,’ Laura says unconvincingly. It’s one of those nothings loaded with everything.
At this point none of us are looking at the magazines and there’s a thin layer of tension in the room. Low-lying clouds are gathering, and we aren’t doing anymore wedding dress research until whatever’s going on is resolved. I take a long sip of my wine. I think I might need another glass. After a painful minute, Laura finally breaks her ‘nothing’ induced silence.
‘If you must know, Simon and I are abstaining from sex until after we’re married.’
There’s another pause in the conversation, and this one is filled with disbelief.
‘What?’ I say incredulously. ‘Why would you do that?’
‘I thought it would be nice. Like I’m a virgin again, and it’s our first time,’ says Laura.
‘Wow,’ says Mum. ‘Is that why you can’t handle me and Jason’s sexy talk?’
‘It’s one of the reasons. Although I still don’t need to hear all the gory details,’ says Laura.
‘Yeah, me either,’ I say to Mum. ‘And I think Laura’s right. He might be a sex pest.’
Munch.
‘I’m sorry you can’t handle that I have a life,’ says Mum morosely.
I can’t believe Laura and Simon are not having sex until after the wedding. Mainly because they’ve been together for four years already. They live together. I imagine they’ve had sex hundreds of times and now she’s going to pretend she’s a virgin again. No wonder she’s more annoyed than usual. She even has to win at being a virgin. Although with the state of my love life, she’ll probably have sex again before me.
‘Don’t say anything in front of Simon. He doesn’t like to talk about it,’ says Laura.
‘I bet he doesn’t,’ says Mum with a wry smile. ‘Poor fella.’
