Page 41 of The Notecard
I explained that I couldn’t listen to her being rude to anyone else and that I was going home. She started having a go at me and that she had done nothing wrong. I told her I was done with her and needed some space. She said if I left because of this then not to bother calling her again. I said fine. She called me a few unsavoury names and I left. A few brief text messages and we were over. She came by my flat to pick up a few things and that was us. She said I would never find anyone like her again, and that I had lost the best thing in my life. I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t stomach the argument. Molly and I were over. Now we’re back in the same spot all over again.
After Dotty’s rant about Status Quo, Molly says she wants to freshen up and heads off to my bedroom. I think she just wants to get away from Dotty. I have a quick chat with Dotty before she says she has to get on. As soon as she leaves, Molly comes walking out.
‘Has she finally gone?’ says Molly.
‘Dotty? Yes, she had things to do.’
‘God, so boring. Like literally the most boring person ever. Right, you,’ says Molly, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into her. A salacious smile slapped across her face. ‘Tonight is going to be cocktails somewhere fabulous, dinner somewhere expensive, then back to my flat for at least two rounds of heavyweight sex. You in, Nicky?’
She looks at me and for a moment I think about saying yes. Molly is beautiful, and the idea of cocktails, an expensive dinner, and a night of sex, sounds a lot better than breaking up, and being alone. Probably a takeaway in front of the television. It’s my night off. I should be out having fun. But I know I need to break up with her. The longer it goes on, the more invested she’s going to get. The more she will believe that we’re a couple. That I might love her. I don’t want to hurt her. Despite her obvious failings as a human being, I care about Molly. I just don’t love her and don’t think I ever will. Talking to Meg, I realised how much I like her. She’s everything I’m looking for in a girl. Everything except the fact she’s recently heartbroken and heading off for six months around the world.
I’ve decided I’m going to apply for the Nottingham job. I need a fresh start. I need to change something in my life. This is when the plan comes to me. I’m going to tell Molly about the Nottingham job. I’ll tell her it’s not fair on her, and that we should stop seeing each other. It’s not you, it’s my career. That old chestnut.
Molly kisses me. She tastes of lipstick. She has the softest lips.
‘Well, Nicky? Are you in? Of course you are.’
‘Can we talk?’ I say.
Molly notices my serious face and her expression changes.
‘You’re scaring me, Nicky,’ she says, an overly dramatic expression on her face.
I tell her to sit down and I’ll explain. There’s no easy way to say this. It’s like a plaster. I just need to rip it off quickly. I’m used to delivering bad news. I’ve had to do it a lot at work. It’s not a part of the job I relish, but it’s something that has to be done. I have to treat her like a patient. I’m next to the fireplace and I look at the mantelpiece and that’s when I notice that the notecard is gone. The notecard I wrote for Meg. After I didn’t give it to her, I put it on the mantelpiece, and I left it there. I don’t know why I kept it, but for some obscure reason, I didn’t want to throw it away. It’s been on the mantelpiece ever since. Someone has taken it.
‘What’s wrong, Nicky?’ says Molly, who has seen the look on my face.
‘It’s, umm… something was here and now it’s gone.’
‘What?’
‘A notecard.’
‘So?’ says Molly. ‘You probably just moved it. Can we go now? I’m getting bored.’
My first thought is Molly. She is that crazy that she might have taken it. She could have it right now. She might have already read it. She’s punishing me. It’s definitely in her playbook. Who else would have taken it? Mum wouldn’t have taken it and the only other person who’s been here is Dotty. It must have been Molly.
‘Did you take it?’ I say, turning to her.
I’m desperate, and all of my worries about Molly flying off the handle go out of the window. I need to get that notecard back.
‘What the fuck, Nicky?’ says Molly.
‘Did you take it?’ I say again.
‘Jesus, Nicky, why would I take your stupid bloody notecard?’
‘I don’t know because you’re jealous, and intense, and I know that you’ve lied about things in the past, Mols. It’s just what you do.’
She has lied before. A few times.
‘I’m not listening to this total fucking shit show,’ says Molly standing up. ‘When you grow up, Nicky, call me and we can do whatever this is again!’
She grabs her stuff and is walking out. I don’t know if I have misjudged this one or not. She opens the door to my flat and is storming out. I think about going after her, saying sorry, but I realise that whether she took the notecard or not, this is what I wanted. I wanted her out of my life and now she is. I half-heartedly follow her into the hallway. Molly doesn’t turn around and keeps on walking. She raises her arm and gives me the middle finger, which I suppose says everything. It wasn’t Molly. I’m confused and I don’t know what else to think. I’m standing in the hallway when I see Dotty walking up the stairs.
‘I heard all the commotion. She’s a hot head that one,’ says Dotty.
‘She is a bit.’
